The Latest

Can we please see Wolverine the Musical?

I’ve been on a musicals kick. It has nothing everything to do with seeing Hamilton for the second time. I’ve graduated from listening to the Ham soundtrack on YouTube to listening to Hamilton radio on Pandora. You see, I was hoping for a nice roundup of Ham, Rent, Le Mis, Wicked, and all the other […]

Dog training is dangerous work

So my dog is becoming incredibly skilled at indoor parkour. If you don’t know what that is, Google it. I’ll wait. Insane, right? Well, Nia is a master. When she gets the zoomies, she jets around our house, side-swiping and jumping on everything with a flat surface. ¬†She can also clear 4-5 feet with a […]

Distemper and the cone of shame

Of course my dog has an Instagram account. Of course¬†she does. When the rescue organizations were [heavily] vetting me to become a dog mom, my friends were telling them that my future dog was going to live a spoiled existence. Toys and play and treats and photo shoots would ensue. My dog was sure to […]

Quirky style: An accidental style maven

In the last few years, I’ve really started honing and owning my own sense of style. A couple weeks ago, at my brother-in-law’s wedding, I realized that it’s kind of a thing I’m proud of, and it’s definitely a thing that Brian is proud of. So I’m learning to love this part of myself. The […]

My (Sometimes) Ridiculous Life

Desperately Seeking Something: How to Fuck Everything Up

After I met two cool guys at the bar at which I was working, and stalked the shit out of the handsome one, I went into work that next afternoon, swooning. The mysterious Grown Up (formerly known as Handsome) was completely occupying my mind. I was always game for a challenge, and someone who couldn’t […]

That One Time My Life Was Like Breaking Bad

You guys. You will not BELIEVE what happened. I FINALLY got permission to write about this little sitch-something about statute of limitations or something? So, a friend of mine owns a rental condo. A sweet little condo in a quiet little suburb. And the most recent tenants left in quite a hurry. We’re talking furniture, […]

If We’re Going to Die, I Want to be Covered in Cheese.

Driving along the coast, just north or south of San Francisco is terrifying and breathtaking in the same moment. The varying drops off the side of the mountainous roads are steep. And I have a thing with vertigo and windy (as in wind a clock, not wind and sea; although I suppose that fits, as […]

The One that Nobody Knew About

Four moving violations in almost as many months… Two speeding tickets. Two accidents. One attorney. One court date scheduled for January. And a partridge in a pear tree? You’d think I would have learned my lesson. You’d think I would have slowed down. Alas, the rules of the road seem more like a guideline than […]

Bring it on, weirdo

The Married Life

Marriage advice from a newlywed

So I’ve been thinking. How long do you get to consider yourself a newlywed? Since Brian and I have been married for exactly 365 days (tomorrow is our anniversary), I’m wondering if I can still consider myself a newlywed? Well, regardless, I thought it was important to impart some very necessary wisdom about marriage that […]

My new favorite word is husband

Heeeeey there, Blog Friends! I went and got married on you last month, and obviously I’m a brand new lady with a whole new personality.  I’m lying about that last part. I’m the same me. Just way less stressed than I was during that whole wedding planning bullshit. Our wedding was magical, and I can’t wait to […]

Real Talk About Babies

So, now that we’re married, Brian and I have been having the baby conversation. You know, because we’re not spring chickens or anything. Note, before we get things going here: I AM NOT PREGNANT. Okay good. Glad we got that out of the way. The conversation has kinda gone something like this. Me: Brian, I […]

4 things that save my marriage every day

Brian and I have been married for more than 6 months now, so I’m pretty confident that gives me authority to offer up marriage advice. As it turns out, there are a lot of things that can help a marriage along, especially when you’re navigating alternative facts and not really sure what’s real and what […]

More Marital Bliss

Our Home – AKA I Hate Cleaning

Drunk Chrissy is a Motherfucking Genius

It is last night, right now. By that I mean, I am typing this and it is Monday night. November 30. Not today. Today is likely any day but that. Unless it is November 30 in another year, many days from now. When I am typing this. Drunk. You get what I’m saying. Brian told […]

And This is How Many Times I Injured Myself This Weekend…

On Saturday morning, I attempted to finish clearing the dead crap from my heavily landscaped yard, a task I had begun upon arriving home the night before (while wearing a damn dress, no less). Dirt, mud and pollen threatened to swallow my hands whole. The purple paint on my freshly manicured, middle fingernail chipped. A […]

3 Ways to Maintain Hardwood Floors Without Wasting an Entire Day

When we moved into our house, we both really wanted hardwood floors. The entire house is mostly covered in carpet, which is an allergic-to-everything couple’s nightmare. I made Brian promise we would replace the carpet with wood IMMEDIATELY (I mean, we had blue carpet with yellow walls in our front room. It was a 90’s […]

Things I Did Last Night Instead of Writing

Last night, we arrived home late from our adventures in Indiana, where we played games late into the night, ran into the people we knew with more regularity than one would expect at a convention of more than 60,000 people, and did not run into Wil Wheaton. Again. I can’t tell you quite how many […]

More homey goodness...

Wedding Shenanigans

Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue

Man. Our wedding…where to go from cheese? I guess I’ll start by explaining the bridal party. Because that shit got out of control real fast. And I wouldn’t have had it any other way. So it all started with the whole picking bridesmaids thing. Which was hard because holy shit I have a lot of […]

Meet me under the tallest Christmas tree

I woke up in a hotel in River North the morning after Brian’s work holiday party. I had brought a couple outfits but after the wild night, I was leaning toward a pair of tie-dye yoga pants and a hoodie. Brian steered me away from super comfort and suggested I try something else. “Okay, ya […]

There’s Nothing More Tasteless Than Eating Disorder Jokes at a Bridal Show

When you think of a bridal show, you may have visions of creative photographers, wedding gown experts, travel gurus, brilliant bakers, and entertainment professionals settled at their respective booths, vying for the attention of every bride, bridesmaid, and mother of the bride in a 60-mile radius. And quite likely, you’ll expect this event to culminate […]

More from the wedding journey

Eats and Drinks

Tasty Tuesday: Asparagus and Brussels Sprout Salad

While I’m still in the process of getting my foodie section up and running, I figure that now is as good a time as any to give you a teaser post! My friend Valerie started a Tasty Tuesday weekly, so I thought I’d join her today. Last year, I discovered Brussels sprouts. I know what […]

Champagne and Mom Go Hand in Hand

There are many wonderful things I love in this world. Cheese. Brian. Brunch. My mom. Being a godmother. My own godmother. (Don’t worry dad. I love you, too!) And, I promise this is in no particular, highly calculated order or anything. I’ve always loved Mother’s Day, despite the having-never-been-a-mother thing I’ve got going for me. […]

Snack On

Gettin’ Skinny With It

There’s Nothing More Tasteless Than Eating Disorder Jokes at a Bridal Show

When you think of a bridal show, you may have visions of creative photographers, wedding gown experts, travel gurus, brilliant bakers, and entertainment professionals settled at their respective booths, vying for the attention of every bride, bridesmaid, and mother of the bride in a 60-mile radius. And quite likely, you’ll expect this event to culminate […]

Because I Need to Take Care of Myself

I’ve been thinking about self-care a lot lately. I haven’t been taking proper care of myself. Brian likes to joke that he feels responsible for making sure I’m well cared for, and I joke that it’s because my parents gave up that responsibility when he walked into my life. In reality, I need to make […]

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