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a long day at the bar

When it Sometimes Sucks to be a Waitress

After I was invited to Ireland by a couple of strangers, and went all internet-stalker boy crazy, I may have fucked everything up with the handsome Grown Up. I was dating…a couple of guys. Although I should probably mention that I use the term, “dating” loosely. Based on your knowledge of my bad-ass stalking skills, […]

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Please. Don’t Walk and Smoke at the Same Time

I grew up in the house of smoke. The fact that I came out of it without smoking is actually kind of bizarre. When I lived at home, I didn’t even realize how everything I owned smelled like smoke. It wasn’t until I went to college that I ever understood the stale smell of lingering […]

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3 Backstabbing Games You Need to Play on International Tabletop Day

Today is a glorious day my friends! It’s International Tabletop Day! Brian and I shall celebrate by gathering with some of our board gaming buddies and playing copious amounts of games while snacking and boozing. Life is good today. In honor of this beautiful nerdy-as-fuck holiday started by one of our favorites, Wil Wheaton, and […]

Desperately Seeking Something

Desperately Seeking Something: How to Fuck Everything Up

After I met two cool guys at the bar at which I was working, and stalked the shit out of the handsome one, I went into work that next afternoon, swooning. The mysterious Grown Up (formerly known as Handsome) was completely occupying my mind. I was always game for a challenge, and someone who couldn’t […]

My (Sometimes) Ridiculous Life

When I like like someone, I internet stalk them

When I Like Like Someone, I Internet Stalk Them

As we began our story last week, I met a couple of dudes in a bar and they invited me on a trip to Ireland. Just like that… And I considered it for a hot minute. And then fucking logic set in… “But probably not. I don’t even know you guys!” Bright and Shiny was […]

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I Was Working as a Waitress in a Cocktail Bar…That Much is True

Once upon a time, many years ago, there was a girl who waited tables at an Irish bar where people were mostly dicks. She also spent a few weeks running pub trivia, and that is where our story begins. (Oh hey, that girl is me, and I’m about to switch to the first person). I […]

You Pray

You Pray and You Pray and Then You Don’t Realize Your Prayer Was Already Answered…

When you’re nine years old, the Grade School Powers That Be separate the girls and boys into different classrooms and begin an annual ritual of education that continues for several years. Girls learn all about getting their first periods, weird hair growth, and unusual body odor. Boys, I can only assume based on my experience, […]

Dear Cary Elwes I'm Really Sorry

Dear Cary Elwes, I’m REALLY Sorry.

Dear Cary, Can I call you Cary? I hope so. I’m going to assume that you’ve probably forgotten all about me. And Brian. I’m really hoping you forgot about Brian. So, I’ll start with this. I’m a big fan. Huge, actually. I remember seeing The Princess Bride when I was a little girl, and it […]

How to drunk yoga

How to Drunk Yoga in 12 Easy Steps

So you know how sometimes I do things so you don’t have to? This is one of those times. So please. Kids. Don’t try this at home. Yoga is fun. Yoga is fucking awesome. Yoga is one of my new favorite things to do. Sometimes, I think in my head at night well, I can […]

- Top Ten Tuesday -

Top Ten Tuesday: Ten Weird Habits I Can’t Break

I’m a little crazy, ya know? I mean, it’s not like I’m Glenn Close crazy (anymore) or Scarecrow crazy (yet)…just my own personal brand of crazy. And I have these habits, right? And if you noticed them or had to understand/deal with them, you might think I’m just a little on the crazy side. Or […]

Caution Falling Ice

The Perils of Working in the Original Skyscraper Jungle

I work in the city. THE city. As in Chicago. Home of the original skyscraper. Did you know that? After the Chicago Fire, they commissioned an architect to do whatever he wanted…and he wanted to change the world, apparently. Thus skyscrapers were born. So I work downtown, inside The Loop, Chicago. Each day I walk […]

Rufus

I Get Into Fights In My Sleep, But Nothing Compares To Those Reindeer Dreams

It’s a thing, okay. It’s been a thing since I was a little kid. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and have complete, albeit random and sometimes weird, conversations with people. The following stories are hearsay. They are my memories of stories from my friends and family. I cannot confirm or […]

Bring it on, weirdo

Welcome to Our House..

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Tiny Touches Can Brighten Even the Smallest Room

Now that Christmas is over (okay, almost over…Christmas may still be going strong in our house. I’ve only taken down three of the seven trees in our house), I’m starting to finally get into the making our house a non-holiday-decorated home. I’ve been looking for little accents to make spaces seem more homey and trying […]

Log Cabin Incense

Sweet Baby Cheeses, We Found the Hidden Madonna

I realize that my mother is probably going to kill me and I’m probably going to hell courtesy of that title. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Whatever. So, a couple months ago, I told you about the random shit that was left in our house by the previous owners. As we started […]

Even the curtains, while not really my style at all, are helpful...even if they are getting replaced asap. (By the way, feel free to note the paint color. Next to it is a blue family room and what was a salmon kitchen. Hence the weekend painting.)

The Random Shit They Left Us

Good morning blog friends! Brian and I spent the weekend painting with my second mother (my mom’s best friend who just taught me how to paint a room). She and I also made our way downtown to a very depressing Bears game. And then back for more painting. So as I’m writing this (Sunday night), […]

How Should You Share the Closet Space?

A Closet Full of Clothes…But Where Are Brian’s Clothes?

As my closet fills with fall clothes, I started thinking about my wardrobe vs. Brian’s wardrobe. When we moved into Brian’s dad’s house, putting most of our stuff into a gigantic storage unit, I had to pack up Rubbermaid tub on top of Rubbermaid tub full of clothes that I wouldn’t see again for another […]

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How to Make House Hunting Less Like Dating

For the last couple of months, instead of estate sailing and garage sailing for vintage board games, Brian and I have been adventuring out with our realtor (who is hilarious and awesome), but you knew that already. Because we almost bought a house. And then we didn’t, and we were heartbroken. It was like a […]

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We Broke Up With Our House…Or…We Almost Bought a House

Remember two weeks ago, when I was planning all the exciting things for a house we hadn’t bought? And last week, when I bragged about a secret? And Tuesday when I teased about an exciting day to my Facebook followers? And the majority of those two weeks were spent pinning home decorating images to my […]

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Rest in Pieces, Delilah: A Eulogy

In honor of my dear friend of 19 years. She was a true champion. We met the summer between 7th and 8th grade. She kept my little brother and I occupied, distracted, and entertained that first summer she arrived, when Mom was sick. She taught me about responsiblity, maintenance, and pride in a job well […]

Confession Friday: I Have a Planning Problem

In the last several weeks, we’ve been browsing house after house after house looking for OUR house. From hundreds of houses online to dozens of showings, we’ve/I’ve spent countless hours looking for just the right house. Several times in the last few weeks, we’ve even thought to ourselves is this our home? And truly meant […]

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Eats and Drinks

Throw an awesome housewarming party

I’m Not Going to Lie…I Throw a Killer Party

So I know I promised months ago that I’d tell you about our housewarming party, but then LIFE happened…and the housewarming party came and went…and definitely got put on the back burner. But here it is in all it’s gaming glory. I wanted to throw a game-themed party. And actually I wanted to get crazy […]

Cheese drawer

Random Food Staples Always in our Kitchen

Normal people have a regular supply of certain foods always in stock. You know, things like mustard, ketchup, chicken breasts, American or cheddar cheese, pickles, Ritz crackers, olive oil…Sure we have some of these things in our fridge and pantry from time to time. Some of these normal foods even remain as staples in our […]

Cheeses

Top Ten Tuesday: The Ten Best Cheeses to Eat Solo

Listen up. I know that cheese makes EVERYTHING better. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, dessert…Cheese can play an integral role in any dish. But in honor of National Cheese Lover’s Day (January 20th, yo!) I’m going to encourage you to DEVOUR some delicious cheese from around the globe…without a cracker, dipper, chip, entree, bread, sauce, or […]

Spicy Tilapia and Truffle Goat Cheese Sub

EASY Toaster Oven Lunch Plan – Spicy Baked Tilapia and Truffle Goat Cheese Sub

You guys know I love me some Gorton’s Seafood, right? Easy, fast, and delicious fishy goodness. Perfect when you’re forced to cook seafood for one…or when you go to your parents house to cook a meal for everyone except your boyfriend because he hates seafood… Well, I recently discovered that these delightful little Simply Bakes […]

McSmoky

Meet the McSmoky Triple Cheese Burger – My McDonald’s Create Your Taste

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to take my pal Cletus over to a McDonald’s near-ish me in Downers Grove. We used to live in Downers Grove, so this was near and dear to me. They closed the McDonald’s that I knew and loved, and opened a new one a mile down the road. […]

Holiday leftover breakfast pizza

Holiday Leftover Breakfast Pizza – It Sounds Gross, But Even Brian Liked It

Okay, so after Thanksgiving, my girlfriend Brookie Banosnapper Snapchatted me with her fancy “Turkey and hollandaise with poached eggs on flatbread” and “I’m making all the soup from Thanksgiving leftovers” I’m-cooler-than-you-videos. In typical lady fashion, I had to one-up her. I also had to use some of the Thanksgiving leftovers that I had in order to […]

Snack On