The Latest

I may have been a stand-up comedian in a past life

Guys. GUYS. I recently returned from the beautiful Dayton Riviera, where I embraced the joys of life and love and humor with my writing tribe at the Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop. I have A LOT to say about this conference and the magic that happens there, but first, I thought it would be fun to […]

Does it count as sexual harassment if I was a t-rex?

The other day, I went bowling in my t-rex costume (as one does, right?). It was a birthday party with a suits theme. So I wore my dino suit over my bathing suit (it sure does get hot in there, guys!), and trekked to a local bowling establishment. And while I was standing in the […]

How to Make a Beautiful Cheese Plate for Two

Y’all! It’s National Cheese Lover’s Day. As it’s a holiday that is literally celebrating ME, I had to offer some advice for making a beautiful and delicious cheese tray for two — since Brian and I are heading off to Florida in less than 24 hours, we can’t have a ton of extra cheese lying […]

Monkeying Around

Well hey there, blog friends! Long time no see. I took a bit of a breather for the holidays, started making some plans, and started implementing some plans. And now I’m back. With something a little different. I’ve been wanting to dabble in video for a while now. I’ve got this weirdly popular video on YouTube […]

My (Sometimes) Ridiculous Life

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

Last week, I offered you some wise dating advice. I left The Grown Up hanging while I meandered off to a late breakfast. I just KNOW he was waiting with baited breath for my imminent return. And as any good obsessive dater does, I couldn’t wait to get back and chat with him some more. […]

When I Like Like Someone, I Internet Stalk Them

As we began our story last week, I met a couple of dudes in a bar and they invited me on a trip to Ireland. Just like that… And I considered it for a hot minute. And then fucking logic set in… “But probably not. I don’t even know you guys!” Bright and Shiny was […]

I May Have Accidentally Given Someone My Password. Again.

I’m a brand ambassador representing F-Secure KEY in the effort to change the way people think about passwords and security. While I have been compensated for my time, all opinions, stories, and ideas expressed are still my own. Another quick cautionary story about passwords (because my first password fail wasn’t enough). Last week, the day […]

The One that Nobody Knew About

Four moving violations in almost as many months… Two speeding tickets. Two accidents. One attorney. One court date scheduled for January. And a partridge in a pear tree? You’d think I would have learned my lesson. You’d think I would have slowed down. Alas, the rules of the road seem more like a guideline than […]

Bring it on, weirdo

The Married Life

Reasons I’m Going to Marry Brian

Brian and I are getting married on September 16. For those of you not interested in mathing that out, it’s approximately 4.5 months  (or exactly 142 days) from today. We had our engagement photos last weekend, and they were ridiculous,  just like us. For those of you not following on social media, here’s a sneak […]

Marriage advice from a newlywed

So I’ve been thinking. How long do you get to consider yourself a newlywed? Since Brian and I have been married for exactly 365 days (tomorrow is our anniversary), I’m wondering if I can still consider myself a newlywed? Well, regardless, I thought it was important to impart some very necessary wisdom about marriage that […]

Marriage in the days of alternative facts

It’s been 5 months since Brian and I tied the proverbial knot. And let me tell ya, marriage isn’t easy. It’s been rough going as we wade through real life and what’s true or not. The world is insane, you guys. Here are just a few of the crazy “truths”that have come to light and […]

Real Talk About Babies

So, now that we’re married, Brian and I have been having the baby conversation. You know, because we’re not spring chickens or anything. Note, before we get things going here: I AM NOT PREGNANT. Okay good. Glad we got that out of the way. The conversation has kinda gone something like this. Me: Brian, I […]

More Marital Bliss

Our Home – AKA I Hate Cleaning

How GE Lighting Brightened My Reading Spot

I was offered the opportunity to give a room in my home a mini-makeover with lighting from GE, and I thought to myself, self, this sounds like a great excuse to clean your apartment. And then it took me several weeks to clean my apartment. Are you surprised? Me neither. So when GE sent me free […]

In Honor of World Naked Gardening Day…

For those of you who are naively unaware, today (the first Saturday of May) is World Naked Gardening Day. (Warning, the following link is NSFW and contains an older gentleman’s dingaling on the front page. You’ve been warned.) Tenth Annual World Naked Gardening Day. (No, seriously, guys. You’ve been warned.) It’s World Naked Gardening Day. […]

Sweet Baby Cheeses, We Found the Hidden Madonna

I realize that my mother is probably going to kill me and I’m probably going to hell courtesy of that title. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Whatever. So, a couple months ago, I told you about the random shit that was left in our house by the previous owners. As we started […]

The Random Shit They Left Us

Good morning blog friends! Brian and I spent the weekend painting with my second mother (my mom’s best friend who just taught me how to paint a room). She and I also made our way downtown to a very depressing Bears game. And then back for more painting. So as I’m writing this (Sunday night), […]

More homey goodness...

Wedding Shenanigans

Should You Really Pinterest Your Own Wedding?

Pinterest for wedding planning is getting out of control. It’s all DIY this and DIY that. And FML this and FML that. Come up with the perfect save the dates! Design the most creative invitations! Your wedding favors: handled! These centerpieces will blow your mind! If you’re insane, these wedding photo ideas will totally impress […]

Meet me under the tallest Christmas tree

I woke up in a hotel in River North the morning after Brian’s work holiday party. I had brought a couple outfits but after the wild night, I was leaning toward a pair of tie-dye yoga pants and a hoodie. Brian steered me away from super comfort and suggested I try something else. “Okay, ya […]

Good Morning, Sunshine

When I was a little girl, one of my mom’s best friends got married. Her wedding was the first big wedding I had ever been to, and the only one I recall from my childhood. I remember hunting down the servers with passed hors d’oeuvres, searching for shrimp cocktail. I remember playing with the other […]

More from the wedding journey

Eats and Drinks

Tasty Tuesday: October is National Pasta Month!

So I’ve been cooking up a storm lately, and I thought it was high time I share some more delicious recipes with you! In fact, I’ll bet you didn’t even know that October is National Pasta Month. Lucky for you, there’s me. And lucky for me, the fine people at The Pasta Shoppe were kind […]

Martini Glasses Are Fucking Useless

I have a martini glass collection. It started as a joke in my early twenties, after I broke every single martini glass at the bar my family owned. I had an affinity for cosmopolitans (thanks in part to my Sex and the City addiction), and my body had an affinity for falling down and breaking […]

Snack On

Gettin’ Skinny With It

I Fit Inside a Box and Other Weight Loss Related Updates

What would you do with a large, empty cardboard box?

I Thought a Spider Tried to Kill Me. Actually, I Have Shingles and I’m Obviously Dying.

That’s pretty much my story. I woke up last week with an itchy itchy bug bite. No. Set of bug bites. Except I don’t really get bug bites. Ever. I mean, not mosquito bites anyways. Spiders regularly try to kill me. Death bugs hunt me in my sleep. One time, I got eaten alive by something in […]

More yoga, diety, healthy goodness...