After I met two cool guys at the bar at which I was working and stalked the shit out of the handsome one, I went to work that next afternoon, swooning. The mysterious Grown-Up (formerly known as Handsome) was completely occupying my mind. I was always game for a challenge, and someone who couldn’t be found on social media was definitely a challenge in my book. My bartender friend and I spent the very slow work day planning my future wedding to my newest crush.
I didn’t have to wait long for the first real email. Sometime around noon that afternoon, The Grown-Up responded to my adorable comment with just enough sass to make me laugh and just enough weirdness to make me smile. I knew responding to him was going to be fun.
He told me that I obviously had beer goggles on, as he was definitely not “adorable,” though I was welcome to call him dashing, debonair, distinguished, or even elegant. He made some ridiculous nonsensical commentary on my email signature, which referenced a leadership role in an organization and my consultant status for Tastefully Simple. It was teasing, light, and absolutely adorable. His sense of humor really nailed it for me. It was just random enough to make me think more and carefully craft a response that played off his playful tone.
I told him that he was definitely all of those things, but he was also adorable with the definitive argument that it was my word and so it would be that he was adorable.
I added a little light banter about his obvious modesty and sent the response later that evening. As I waited for another email, I analyzed every word in his first email. I used any personal details to continue my Google search. I still couldn’t find him on social media. Maybe he didn’t have a Facebook account. Maybe he wasn’t that techy or internetty. I even sent him a chat request that went unanswered.
But he e-mailed me the next day using that same, adorable and teasing tone.
I was seriously hooked. His word choices. His sense of humor. He was smart. And a smart ass. I loved him. I sent another chat request before responding to his e-mail.
Actually, I sent him several chat requests that soon went unanswered. Shit. Was I fucking this up already?
If you didn’t already know, I was/am a master of fucking things up. I push buttons…A LOT. I kinda like testing my limits. It’s a thing.
My third IM (which was on the third day – and actually in the morning, and not at night) was met with an awkward response that made perfect sense. He worked at a computer all day. If he looked like he was online at night, he probably wasn’t ACTUALLY online.
So we briefly conversed about our jobs and career paths, and I told him I wanted to be a teacher. Our conversation concluded with this little blurb of utter genius…something that I had forgotten completely until finding old conversations to use for this tale.
After a three-day Gmail love affair, though…life took its typical turn in relationship Chrissyland…and the handsome Grown-Up didn’t respond again. Christmas was a few days away, and my last e-mail went unanswered. I failed to send another desperate IM during the busy that was Christmas.
Two days before Christmas, I met someone else…and two days after Christmas, someone from my past came back into my life, and the Grown-Up that wasn’t pursuing me got pushed to the backseat by the boys that were. I suppose the saying is true…when it rains, it pours. And for me, it was raining men.
Was this the end? Would I ever see the handsome Grown-Up or Bright and Shiny again? Friends, tell it to me straight – have you ever pushed a little too hard when you were interested in someone? Do you not push enough? Tell me your tales of woo and woe!
Find out what happens next by clicking the picture below!
I Was Working as a Waitress in a Cocktail Bar…That Much is True
Once upon a time, many years ago, there was a girl who waited tables at an Irish bar where people were mostly dicks. She also
Desperately Seeking Something: How to Fuck Everything Up
After I met two cool guys at the bar at which I was working and stalked the shit out of the handsome one, I went
When it Sometimes Sucks to be a Waitress
After I was invited to Ireland by a couple of strangers and went all internet-stalker boy crazy, I may have fucked everything up with the handsome
Riding in Cars with Boys
I FINALLY. Had. A date. With. The Grown Up. On Thursday, we scheduled our date for Tuesday, as The Grown Up’s weekend was already booked,
Tonight and the Rest of My Life
As our date was coming to a close, I walked a little closer to The Grown Up, briefly grazing his hand with mine. We made
Things I Did to Make The Grown Up Dump Me
It took me a while to figure out how to tell you guys this part of the story. Because I was a hot mess when
Makes me glad I’m not in the dating pool anymore! Whatever happened to people just actually calling them to talk like real humans?
Amen! I’m so glad I have Brian now. I can’t imagine going back out there in the dating game.
I am left hanging. Dammit. I really like Grown Up and his words. Words turn me on, too. Smart is sexy.
Twenties me was REALLY mentally damaged. Words are so sexy. God, his freakin’ words. I just re-found them in my Gmail account while “researching” myself for this little exercise in suspense, and forgot how delicious they were.
Do you need a minute?
Maybe like five.
Ooooooh you are weaving a GOOD TALE here! Kind of liking the Grown Up a LOT. And hoping he comes back with more words. But kind of annoyed that he was inconsistent at writing back.
Thank you! His words were pretty magical…I was annoyed too. I wanted him to pursue me! lol
Back in my 20’s. I was a desperate mess of a relentlessly passionate pursuer! I swear if I was really REALLY into a guy… I would go to great lengths to get his attention! I chased a boy for months once… and when he invited me ANYWHERE I followed him like a stupid puppy- and he even then, rarely engaged with me. It was pathetic really. I look back on those months with that shameful sigh. Apparently, I was cool with humility back then. *groans*
Yes! Me too. There were several guys that would so much as say where they were and I’d go anywhere to meet them.
I already love everything about this. Must know more immediately.
And instead you must wait until Thursday. This is fun for me! 🙂