I just want to be perfect
Yesterday was my birthday. All my life, birthdays have been filled with anxiety and a little bit of disappointment. Partially because of my Clark Griswoldian
Category: Adulthood
Life is Just Plain Weird. Oh, and I Quit My Job Today
Quitting a job is absolutely bizarre. Today is my last day at my current company. In two weeks, I’ll start a new role at a
I Drove Drunk and Got Pulled Over by a Cop
I’ve done a lot of stupid things in my life. Don’t let that be confused with regrets. I regret nothing. Everything that I’ve done has
Summer of Food, Drugs, and Travel: How I Spent My Summer “Vacation” in 500 Words or Less
The summer is coming to an end, the kids are going back to school, and all the fun things are happening that happen in the
Grocery Shopping: Because Being Lazy and Proactive About My Eating Habits Are Better Than Saving Money
I read something on Pinterest the other day about things you should NEVER buy at the grocery store. Among the items included many of our
I’d Like to Raise My Glass to My Parents for Being Hilarious
I grew up in a bar. I don’t say this to shock you; I say this because it’s true. And it’s not a bad thing.
The 3 Best Reasons to NEVER Dye Your Hair at Home
As you may or may not have known from my glamour shots, I’ve been dying my hair since I was 12. I started out with highlighting
Unemployment is a lot like Being Single
Several years ago, I spent about six months unemployed. Collecting unemployment from the state of Illinois is something of a joke, in my opinion. I
Jerry the Mouse
A few years ago, my best friend, Mark (you know, the one whose car I stole?), was forced to spend a great deal of time
“She Can’t be an Adult,” “She’s Disgusting,” and Other Words I Can’t Forget
“I have never met this person, and I already hate her on a deeply personal level.” “We dont want to see how much her ugly
Let’s Be Honest Here…Cleaning Isn’t Exactly My Favorite Thing To Do…
Does anyone really love cleaning? If you answered yes, please send me an e-mail, I’ll send you my address and you can come clean. I’ve
That One Time I Stole my Best Friend’s Car
Where do I begin? I guess I’ll start at the beginning…with the float trip. When I was a noob adult, fresh out of college, I