I just want to be perfect
May 31, 2016
Yesterday was my birthday. All my life, birthdays have been filled with anxiety and a little bit of disappointment. Partially because of my Clark Griswoldian
My (Sometimes) Ridiculous Life
Frolicking in the Park
May 26, 2016
Sometimes, it amazes me, the beauty that surrounds us. A few weeks ago, Brian and I took a stroll down the Fox River in Geneva,
Harry Potter vs. Captain America
May 6, 2016
One time, I convinced one of my best friends to dress up as Harry Potter and go to a costume party with me. It was
Rando Photo Ops
April 25, 2016
After last night’s engagement photo shoot, I realized to my great dismay that I am not a photographer. I know this may surprise you, what
When it Comes to Brothers, I Sure Lucked Out
April 10, 2016
Did you know today is National Siblings Day? A mere week after my little brother’s 32nd birthday (it’s currently the very brief two months in which
My Life in Snapchat Color Part I
March 30, 2016
I’ve only been snapping since 2014-ish. And in that time, I’ve managed to capture my essence. Of course, I’m well aware of the inane selfies
Sometimes I Think About Lighting my Hair on Fire
March 15, 2016
I picture a lot of crazy thoughts during the course of my day. These thought cause some serious anxiety. But I figure, maybe if I
How to Dress for a Trip to Urgent Care…
March 1, 2016
I’m getting old a helluva lot faster than I thought I would. Remember the old commercials for the Life Alert? Help! I’ve fallen, and I
Fighting Jealousy: Slaying My Green-Eyed Monster
February 19, 2016
When our air conditioner broke, we had to turn the air off for a few hours. It happened to be one of the hottest, most humid
Eat Your Heart Out, Bill Murray
February 2, 2016
If Groundhog Day were a never-ending loop, I’d make damn sure I learned a few things before I tried to drive Punxatawny Phil and myself
Let’s Talk About Warning Labels
January 29, 2016
For pretty much my whole life, I’ve ignored warning labels. I’m completely accident prone and have been known to injure myself in the most bizarre
Apparently, This Summer Wasn’t My First Back Pain Rodeo…Or Why I’m a Velociraptor
January 14, 2016
Guys, you’re not going to believe this (well…yes you will…), but I hurt my back again. And this time, it was much less exciting than
I Have the Laryngitis
January 5, 2016
I think. I mean, I’m a little bit of a hypochondriac, but I’m pretty sure that my inability to speak like a normal Chrissy, let
You May Now Address Me as “Master”
December 29, 2015
Well, December has sure as fuck been one hell of a ride. The first week of December saw me in a new role at a
Completely Legitimate Reasons I Could Have Quit My Job
December 11, 2015
They took away my mirrors My narcissism knows no bounds, and when the lobby renovation of my building was finished, there were no more mirrors
