OK, Try to Suffocate Me!

Last Friday was date night. It was rather fantastic. Brian and I ordered pizza from this little pizza joint in Chicago suburbia (Aurelio’s). Then we ate on a bench in the cute little downtown area of our hometown. Afterwards, we meandered into the classic theater to watch Gatsby (LOVED Gatsby). When I say classic theater, I mean one of those historic relic theaters that has curtains and an organ player…It’s where we saw The Wallflowers a few months back.

After the movie we made our way to the homefront, laughing, happy…overall just enjoying each others’ company. We plopped down into our delightful squish bed chat chat chatting away. We were snugglin’ (don’t hate on our adorableness, yo) and I felt like I was upside down, so I told Brian he needed a pillow. I put it half on his arm and half on his face, and propped my head on top. “You okay?” I asked him.

“I’m fine” he mumbled through the pillow.

So I moved the pillow over his whole head. “How ’bout now?”

“Still great!” (I think that’s what he said…it was a little hard to decipher because of the pillow.)

So I pushed down with my head. “How ’bout now?”

“Maybe not so good.” So I let go.

And then Brian went off on one of his Brian rants about how weird it is that in the movies people always suffocate others with pillows. Like that would really work. And he looked at me dead serious, “Seriously, it is impossible to kill someone with a pillow.”

So OF COURSE I looked at him, and said, “OK great. Try to suffocate me!”

He looked at me for a second and then apparently though, what the hell…because moments later I was on my back and Brian was ready to cover me with a pillow. “Wait!” he called out…”We need like a code. Tap twice on my leg if you really can’t breath.”

“You got it dude.”

And then he pillow suffocated me. And I was laughing so hard. “How you doing?”

“I’m fine. Try harder.” And I kept laughing. And then I started flailing my arms around yelling, “Heeeelp! Ahhh!” in between laughter.

So Brian’s all, “That wasn’t the code. Are you alright?” And I just kept on laughing hysterically through the pillow. “Can you breath?”

“Of course. It’s getting hot in here though.”

And then he removed the pillow. And we laughed for another 10 minutes. Reading this through, it doesn’t sound as funny so much as a sexual adventure gone wrong…but it really was just good clean fun, you dirty birds.

 

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

By the Way, Yesterday was April Fool’s Day. I Promise I’m NOT Quitting You. Or the Blog.

A conversation/interaction between me and B before getting on the train home.

Me: Did you bring me snacks?

Brian: Maaaaybe. I don’t remember. Maybe not.

Me: What snacks did you bring?

Brian: I think I forgot. Maybe there are some from last week.

Me: *sad face*

Brian: Maybe tomorrow.

Me: That’s okay. I have cheese and cracker sticks. And jelly beans.

Brian: Really?

Me: Yes.

Brian: *unzips backpack and looks at me expectantly*

Me: *Opens backpack and discovers trail mix.* Sweet! *Begins snacking immediately.*

Brian: There’s string cheese and apple juice too.

Me: Best. Boyfriend. Ever. It’s like a real life after school snack.

Brian: Sure.

Me: Want some?

Brian: Nope.

20 minutes later…

We have this textversation on the train.

text conversation with Brian

Before I worked in the city (3 days a week), Brian used to always let me know what train he was on, so I could plan dinner…sometimes.

At which point our conversation restarted…

Brian: But it’s part of the wifely duties.

Me: I don’t see a ring on my finger. I’m definitely not cooking you dinner.

 

Blog friends, tell me something cute that your significant other does for you. I love adorkable tales, you know.

PS: Thanks to all you lovelies who commented on my April Fool’s Joke. While I am not planning on quitting the blog, I really appreciated the support and suggestions. You guys are amazing. That is all.

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

I Bought Cool Mickey Band Aids When We Went To Disney World…And Then I Used Them All…

Brian: I got you something.

Me: Oh yeah?

Brian: It’s smaller than a bread box.

(I look in the bag expecting Peeps or Cadbury Cream Eggs or Cadbury Mini Eggs or jellybeans.)

Me: *Squeal*

Mickey Mouse Band Aids

Me: I ran out of these when we were in Florida!

Brian: Wait, you had these?

Me: Duh. (I look at the side package.) No! OMG THESE ARE WAY BETTER.

Mickey Mouse Band Aids

Brian: WOAH. I have to take them back. There’s some serious Mickey abuse going on. I didn’t see that in the store.

Me: No! It’s just a love pat. Look! They’re kissing! And it’s pink!

Brian: Abuse. That’s horrible.

Me: LOVE. Tap. (I pet his cheek and shout “Smack!”) See. Love.

Brian: Now don’t go hurting yourself on purpose to wear these.

Me: *Silence*

Brian: If you want to wear one, you can just put it on. You don’t need any real injuries. OK?

Me: What should I chop for dinner?

Brian: I don’t know…HEY! WAIT A MINUTE!

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!