The Perils of Working in the Original Skyscraper Jungle

I work in the city. THE city. As in Chicago. Home of the original skyscraper. Did you know that? After the Chicago Fire, they commissioned an architect to do whatever he wanted…and he wanted to change the world, apparently. Thus skyscrapers were born.

So I work downtown, inside The Loop, Chicago. Each day I walk a mile from the train, rain or shine, sweltering or bitterly freezing. And then I work. And then I walk another mile from work to the train. I used to occasionally take a cab (VERY occasionally), but mostly I’d brave the elements because a one-way $8-10 cab ride just doesn’t do it for me. I’ve recently discovered that I’m not as afraid of the bus, but for an extra $2.25 per trip, it’s only worth it when it’s REALLY fucking cold out. Like negative temperatures cold. Like WAY negative temperatures cold. Because that $2.25 would quickly become $22.50 PER WEEK. And that’s a lot on my already-expensive commute.

So I brave the dangers of walking in the city. When it’s freezing out, and especially when the freezing starts to warm up just a smidge, signs start popping up all over The Loop. On my walk to and from the train, I pass no less than 8 caution signs each way. Caution signs that warn passersby of potential falling ice. FROM THE FUCKING SKYSCRAPERS.

Caution Falling Ice

  1. How the fuck am I supposed to see the falling ice ball from the sky by looking at a sign 2 feet off the ground?

  2. How the fuck would I even protect myself if a giant, painful ball of ice were to come tumbling down on my head?

  3. What is the fucking purpose of the signs? Do they think they’re preventing legal repercussions of a chunk of ice decapitating some unlucky soul?

Because if a giant fuckball of ice falls on my head and doesn’t actually kill me, I’m going to sue something. Or someone. Okay, probably not. But I would most certainly be pissed. And in a lot of pain.

Then…THEN…I get safely inside the confines of my building? Only to discover that because of the wet, melting ice on my feet, I could fall to my death inside the fucking skyscraper. Because those floors are fucking SLICK. I should know…I slip on them on a regular basis.

Caution Wet FloorThese days, I’m not opposed to a nice, cozy suburban job…with a 5-15 minute drive. We’ll see.

Blog Friends, what dangers await you on your morning commute? Or do you have a dangerous job? Or do you avoid danger like the plague?

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Frozen Parody – Thanks for Making me Laugh Until I Cried WGN Chicago!

You guys!

I HAD to share this with you.

You know how much I swooned when I reviewed Frozen?

And you know how much I bitched when the Polar Vortex came to town?

And of course, how much I bragged when  I ran into Lake Michigan in winter (It was too cold this year, kids…I just. Couldn’t. Do. It.)?

And that one time I built a snow beach in my front yard?

Snow Beach

After the last Snomageddon in January 2011, I made myself a snow beach in subzero weather in order to win a trip to Mexico. I didn’t win. But this picture will live on forever.

Well, this video from a Chicago news guy pretty much says it all. Really, I am so jealous I didn’t come up with it, I can’t see straight!
Enjoy.

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Subliminal Messages About Comfort Food and Why I’m Going Back to the Gym Tomorrow

Thanks to the wonderful people at Skinny Scoop for taking a chance with an unknown kid. By sponsoring this post about comfort food, they’ve helped support my Midnight Moon addiction.

I’ve been consuming a LOT of comfort food lately. Maybe it’s the cold. Maybe it’s the stress of working and blogging and dealing with Chicago winter. Either way, I’ve definitely been eating a lot of my favorites. So much that I am probably going to start one of them there fancy diets pretty soon here…I even signed up for a personal trainer at the gym. If that doesn’t make me show up, I don’t know what will.

My theory on the gym? If I go, and genuinely work out on the regular, I can still consume some of my favorites (in moderation). Because giving up on queso seems wrong. And if anyone remembers that one time I gave cheese up for Lent? And HOW well that worked out for the practice of Lent (sorry, Mom)?

The other night, I had a decadent and ridiculous grilled cheese sandwich that I’m going to have to make again and destroy your diet with a recipe and pictures because holy crap was it that GOOD. It was like breakfast on crack. For dinner.

Last night? A charcuterie platter before dinner. Mac and cheese. Some of Brian’s beef Wellington. I didn’t even bother with dessert. I was stuffed.

Twice in the last two months, I’ve been caught playing chocolate roulette…like a a gambling addict only with chocolate instead of money.

What are some of your favorite comfort foods?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Wordless Wednesday: Polar Plunge

Chicago Polar PlungeChicago Polar Plunge Chicago Polar PlungeChicago Polar Plunge Chicago Polar PlungeChicago Polar PlungeChicago Polar Plunge Chicago Polar Plunge Chicago Polar Plunge

Chicago Polar Plunge Donation for Special Olympics Chicago

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Car Trouble

Car Trouble

My Pontiac Sunfire

My first car was a 1994 Ford Explorer called Melba Toast.  My second car was a 1998 Pontiac Sunfire.

Sometimes, I would forget that I drove a tiny two door Pontiac that was closer to the ground than my ankle. Sometimes I still thought that I drove a beast like Melba Toast, the explorer, or Lurch, the affectionately named GM catering van, that I frequently carted food around while on the clock during my stint as a catering manager… But then I would remember I drove Dawn, the incredible lean mean teal driving machine.

One Thirsty Thursday night in February of 2008, I forgot that my tiny little car probably couldn’t just plow through a little bitty pile of snow in the middle of Main Street. I barely took the time to think about what I was doing. I automatically assumed that I could handle the mini mountain of soft white puff. A minute after my decision was made, I had to call Jeff. Here’s how that went:

Ring Ring. Answer:

“Yes, we’re here! Get here already!”

“Oh I know…I’m almost there. You should come outside.”

“Just come in.”

“No really…Come outside and laugh at me.”

**Jeff walked outside**

Still on the phone with me, he asks incredulously, “Are you serious? I guess you need help.”

I confirm with a pleading, “Help!”

“Be right back, I’m going to need backup.”

I sat waiting patiently…It’s not like I could have gone anywhere. Jeff returned momentarily with my best pal Mark, and one of the bar’s regulars, Mikey. Who knew that I really could stop traffic? The passing cars all stopped and stared as Jeff, Mark, and Mikey tried pushing my car out of the snow. When this still did not work, a very nice plow guy came and helped until I was safely in the bar parking lot.

Of course, that was just one of many Winter: 1; Chrissy: 0 scenarios.

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!