Life-Gaming: Trolly Want a Cracker?

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I’ve finally arrived.

This past weekend was my birthday weekend, as well as my two-year blogiversary, and the blog was overloaded with visitors. Particularly visits skyrocketed to my copyright notice page. When I say overloaded, I mean it was a serious birthday gift of JOY to discover thousands of page views on my little ole blog.

Someone on Reddit came across pictures of me playing around in a cardboard box like a kid. Because it was fun. Apparently, that person thought that my blog was SO BAD that it wasn’t worthy of a copyright notice. I made it into the “delusional artists” subreddit. For those of you who don’t know what Reddit is, it’s kind of like…a message board version of Pinterest.

I chatted with some of my friends immediately upon noticing my recently-discovered infamy, and I realized quickly that being targeted as a “delusional artist,” put me in an excellent position to meta game the fuck out of Reddit and the trolls who think it’s worth their time to talk about how crappy they think I am. Oh, feel free to read about why I’m a delusional artist. If you agree, go ahead and join them. I won’t mind.

As you can imagine, with comments like, “You are not good enough” and I have never met this person and I already hate her on a deeply personal level,” I began my journey through Reddit in a state of confusion. 

I'm sorry, what?
I’m sorry, what?

Trolls are kind of like bullies, but they don’t have the balls to say shit to your face, using their real names. Wait, so you’re saying that strangers who are so proud of their work they hide behind screen names like “nilleftw,” “stormchaser” and (my favorite) “bangwhimper?”

Then I thought to myself, REALLY? Really? 

Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?

They couldn’t even find anything valuable to criticize. I could have done a better job of talking shit about my blog. Bangwhimper went to the trouble of creating an Imgur picture with a screen shot of my goal to read 16 books this year, commenting on my “gargantuan cultural appetite.” I, of course, had it removed from Imgur shortly thereafter for…wait for it…copyright violation.

At this point, I started to laugh.

Laughing at trolls

And laugh.

More laughing at trolls

And laugh some more.

Laughter is the best medicine

I was getting well over my norm for blog traffic, and 15 of the several THOUSAND people who came to my site could think of something negative to say…and even those comments made little to no sense.

Screenshot 2014-06-01 20.47.37

I especially liked the comments that talked about how weird I am…or that I’m chubby. I don’t think there has been a post on this blog in which I make any claims that I’m not weird or chubby. In fact, I’m pretty sure I own the fuck out of weird and chubby. That’s a part of who I am. I’m not offended, but I’m certainly baffled.

Oh, and then there was that one guy (or gal) who thought that commenting on my blog would be fun. He must not have realized that I had the power to edit anything he said and turn it into a lovely message.

I’m pretty sure that in the world of trolls and internets, I won this round. But you know, in case you ever want to feed the trolls, here are a few pointers to really get them going.

I was the victim of Reddit bullying. This is how I combatted them. Sort of. Really, it was just a way to poke them with a stick and get more views. They were mean and I cried...but poke poke poke.

How Trolls Win on the Internet

  1. Trolls make you sad. They want to feel better about themselves, so they aim to tear you down and make you cry the ugly cry.  And who’s crying the ugly cry? You. Who’s laughing? Trolls. They’ve won.
Cry the ugly cry
You don’t want them to see you like this, do you?
  1. Trolls make you angry. They want to start something. If you get angry and fight back, they think to themselves, “oooh, this is fun. Look at you squirm!” And then they have more to play with. They’ve won.
Angry Face
This might make you look bad ass, but does it really work?
  1. Trolls trick you into trying to please them. They want you to want them to love you, but they’ll keep moving the goal posts. Fix what they’re criticizing and try to chase their approval? Boom! They’ve won.
Trolls trick you into trying to please them
Please love me… (no, really…don’t love me. I don’t need your trolly love.)

How You Win on the Internet

Keep on keepin’ on. Ignore what some pimply kid or 40-year-old virgin on Reddit thinks. You’re the only you that will ever be. Whether you’ve got 2 followers or 20,000, there is someone out there who gets it. And gets you. Make friends and have fun. Forget about people who aren’t or don’t like you. They’re never going to be your target audience, and you don’t want them anyways. Continue doing what you’re doing and own it. You win.

Of course, if you ever have problems with trolls, feel free to repeat the following:

“So, this is what I say to fucking trolls. Fuck you. Douchebags.”

Then smile. Because you're fucking awesome.
Then smile. Because you’re fucking awesome. Even when you want to fuck around with a cardboard box.

Have you ever had problems with bullies? Cyber or real life? How did you handle it?

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48 Responses

  1. I never understood reddit anyway. I tried to check it out a couple of years ago when a coworker who sat next to me kept telling me all this cool stuph about it, but I just didn’t find any appeal in it.

    For what it’s worth, I think you’re fantabulous just the way you are. Don’t even think about changing a thing.

  2. Bullies come in all sizes and shapes. I try to ignore them as much as possible and softly sing to myself “Were you born an A**hole or did you just turn out that way?” If that doesn’t do the job and my Irish is up, just bitch slap them verbally or mentally.

  3. Yes, I have been bullied by trolls. One guy started an email campaign and told me I was “his worst nightmare”. Well, buddy, you don’t know anything about my nightmares, and you’d have to go a long ass way before you can even get in line.

    Good for you though in realizing that traffic is traffic. And you probably found some readers in there who will stay with you.

    1. Bullies are horrible. But the digital ones are the easiest to combat…because they aren’t even real people. They’re digital personalities. There’s someone I used to work with who was two completely different people in real life and in e-mail/chat. She was a lot cockier and bitchier digitally. It was bizarre.

  4. Your take on these people is refreshing. They do not have a creative bone in their body. They lack self confidence and have no manners. I am sure the rest of us could spew kick ass profanities at them, but what good would it do, they are just a bunch of anal orifices, and I am sure they would have to look that up in Websters to find the meaning, which they probably don’t own anyway. You Chrissy keep on posting your witty comical words, those of us that really count look forward to you blog. :o)

  5. Hi, I’m a Redditor.

    The Delusional Artists community aren’t bullies, trolls, whatever. We simply like to make fun of what we perceive to be “delusional” art.

    What is delusional art, you ask? Well, we consider the delusion to lie mostly with the artist. The artist most likely has a vastly inflated sense of talent, produces “bad” art with no acceptance of their true aptitude for the medium, or otherwise acts in a delusional fashion regarding the production of art and design.

    The Delusional Artists community tries to preserve the anonymity of artists where reasonable. You’d realise that if you spent even five minutes browsing. There is an explicit guideline regarding cyber bullying in the community’s sidebar.

    However in your case, that wasn’t possible. Why? Because this is a blog, and we considered the sum of it to equate delusion. We felt that your delusion lay in your blog, not you. For example, I was considerably amused by your tagline. Why? I felt it was trite, and a bemusingly generic/conformist thing for a supposedly individualistic person to say. It’s nothing personal.

    It’s never personal. We, individually and as a community, do not give a single damn who you are in real life. We’re amused by what we perceive as your delusion in your medium of art.

    Oh, and about this post? Navigating my way between the nine selfies and the video(?!), I easily found abusive comments directed at Redditors. You mocked our usernames, called us “pimply kids” and “40 year old virgins”.

    You specifically mention the huge increase of traffic, several thousand visitors. You also mention the 15 commenters. Now, I wasn’t very good at math in school, so bear with me here… but isn’t 15 out of several thousand a very small amount? I’d go so far as to suggest they’re not representative of the community at whole! A dangerous concept, I know.

    But, I digress. You accuse us of abuse, and respond in a very public manner with abuse, bad advice and bent statistics, framed with a bizzare number of selfies and that bafflingly redundant video. This post constitutes delusional art.

    Ergo, we win.

    Have a wonderful day.

    1. Creating something and putting it out into the world to be criticized takes courage. I’ve been to blogs I’ve loved, blogs I didn’t, and blogs I didn’t understand, but I have always respected the leap the person has taken. Doing something (even badly) is almost always superior to doing nothing and criticizing those taking action. So, I wonder, together_part, what is your contribution? What work are you doing? Why not link to it in your comment? It seems kind of cowardly not to.

    2. Together_Apart – I am both a redditor and a friend of Chrissy’s. After reading the posts and looking at the forum…I guess my feeling is just that the entire point of the /delusionalartists is to be dicks. As in, the group only serves to be assholes on the internet and I HATE that part of reddit culture. It is precisely the reason so many people think reddit is such a terrible place and never find the genuinely good stuff it provides.

  6. this is the funniest shit ive ever seen, you went rage mode on these trolls, and youre fantastic

  7. Been bullied on a few sites myself…awful, but in the end…just like you… I realized I didn’t give a flying F@#ck about anyone who has to hide behind a made up name. Assholes…….YOU, on the other hand, are FABulous:)

    1. Thank you Jacquie! I thought it was more important to create something that other bloggers could relate to or take away for the day that it happens to them than to ignore them completely. It’s always helpful to know you’re not alone. 🙂

  8. Hey Chrissy. Its always easier to criticize than to create . I don’t take unconstructive criticism too seriously. I just consider the source and remember I didn’t take up my valuable time trashing them because they are not of sufficient consequence.

  9. I really appreciate how you took a potentially devastating attack on your creativity and self esteem and turned it into an empowering and very funny response. I give you a lot of credit for approaching criticism in this way. As my students always say, “Haters gonna hate.” Be you, fearless and authentic. People that hide behind computer screens are cowards with the sole purpose of making others feel more miserable than they do. I applaud you for not allowing them to do so. You go girl!!!!!!

  10. You’re such a pretty lady. I’m so glad I came across your blog. I think you’re absolutely charming.

  11. Though bullies comes in different forms,shapes and categories, they share a common psychology – Finding enjoyment in the agonies of others. The best way to deal with them is to ignore them.

  12. Lol what a stimulating blog post. Happy birthday!!!! Like the way you told the story with all the selfies so relavant and perfectly executed. You sure you not an actor?

  13. I have not joined Redditt as yet. Trolls or bullies should not take over anyone’s life. Like you said in your article -” Make friends and have fun. Forget about people who aren’t or don’t like you. They’re never going to be your target audience, and you don’t want them anyways. Continue doing what you’re doing and own it. You win”” Perfect!! PS: .I love the You tube video someone posted above!

  14. I truly love and admire how you handled this situation! You are not only standing up for yourself but for those people who are truly afflicted by these horrendous actions. Thank you!

  15. Looooooool. For someone who tries to act like they don’t care about trolls, you’re not doing a very good job.

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