Creepy Halloween Jack O Lanterns

I love carving pumpkins. It’s one of my favorite Halloween activities. With our Halloween party coming up fast and furiously, I thought I’d share some more of my favorite creations with you! The first year we went fast and furious with pumpkin carving, I used Pinterest heavily (before Pinterest was cool, mind you) to make these magical creatures.

Finger-Eating Carved Pumpkin

Yes, that goofy-looking pumpkin is eating a finger. This was Brian’s work of art. The eyes were my idea.

Jack o lantern with a bug crawling out of its eye

I read somewhere that the awkward looking pumpkins make the best carvers…so when I went to the grocery store a week before Halloween, I felt that the lonely clearance pumpkins needed a home! And now I absolutely agree that awkward looking pumpkins are amazing. We didn’t carve the top, just a big ole hole in the mouth to scoop out the pumpkin guts.

Little pie pumpkin jack o lantern

This little guy was on the clearance pile too…a pie pumpkin going a little soggy, but I loved him and his cuteness.

Cannibal Pumpkin-Eating Pumpkin

This cannibal pumpkin is one of my pride and joy pumpkins. I had so much fun carving the big guy, and while those little decorative pumpkins are pains in the ass to carve, the finished product was pretty impressive.

Scary Baby Eating Pumpkin

By now, you must realize that I’m a little fucked up when Halloween rolls around (what with my creepy Halloween snackshangman, bloody bathroom, dead babydolls, and spider den bathroom). This baby-eating pumpkin is definitely my favorite. All I did was buy some infant-sized footy jams and a stuffed animal with posable legs at a resale shop, and BOOM. Baby eating pumpkin. I saved the “baby” so I can do this, or some variation of this every year. Stop judging me.

Creepy Jack O Lanterns

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Steampunk Sunday: Steampunkins Anyone?

This post is part of a sponsored post series about the steampunk lifestyle. This campaign is sponsored by Steampunk Goggles. All opinions are totally my own. 

Note: Only two pumpkin carving tools, two pumpkins and one finger were harmed in the making of this post. There may have been a thumb accident pertaining to the seeds of said pumpkins. That is all.

With lots of promises to bloggers, companies and myself this month, I thought it would be a good idea to put it all into one giant megapost. You know…like one post to rule them all. (Please for the love of all things, tell me you got that reference.)

So I promised April over at First Time Mom and Dad some sweet pumpkin carving (thanks to the free carving materials I won from her giveaway!) And I’m still working with the wonderful team over at Steampunk Goggles to promote their FANTASTIC line of goggles, which you can read about in my Steampunk Halloween post from last week. And I promised them an AWESOME video of, well, steampunk awesome.

Obviously, combining the two with the clever nickname dubbed by Katie of Words for Worms (Steampunkins) was the way to go.

I went out and bought two pumpkins after work one night. I placed them in the car and one of them smashed my finger, so obviously I yelled out, “Ow!” And obviously Brian paid no attention. Because I say “ow” more often than, well, anything…

So, as we were carrying the pumpkins upstairs, I told Brian, “You can carry that one. Because that’s the one that bit me.”

“It bit you. And it doesn’t even have teeth yet. What do you think it’s going to do when you give it teeth?”

“Well, maybe I just won’t GIVE it teeth. How do you like that, evil pumpkin?”

And then Brian laughed. Because he ALWAYS laughs at my funny commentary…and not at me. Obviously.

So here’s what I did to that nasty pumpkin:

You’ll see that I screwed Jack’s mouth shut with wiring. And then I wrapped him in chains. And made him a complete cyborg. Because he was a baaaaaad steampunkin. Then I made Jackie. And she hates Jack. Not only because his name is a lot like hers, but also because he bit me. She’s TOTALLY on my side. She got a pretty lace hat, a metal flower in her hair, and real eyes. And a real mouth. And actually, I shaped that real mouth to look like she was exasperated with Jack. Because he’s TOTALLY exasperating.

Steampunkin 2

Evil Jack

Steampunkin

Sweet Jackie

What types of pumpkins are you carving this season, Blog Friends? I’ve got 3 days of Halloween posts ahead, so get excited!

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Confession Friday: I Don’t Have Time to Write! AKA I Spent My Time Carving Pumpkins

So you get pictures instead.

Pumpkin Carving 101…without direction… a photo shoot of model pumpkins

Pumpkins and Decorations Oh My!

Getting Ready for the Halloween Party!

The fist carved pumpkin

This one is going to have 3 little faces drawn on the small pumpkins and they will be on a skewer going into the big mouth

Carved Pumpkin 2

This one has little wrinkle lines that will shine through when lit…

Dog Watching Humans carve pumpkins

This is Dexter. He is thinking to himself, “Crazy fucking humans.”

More Pumpkin Carving

My work station

Carving Baby Pumpkins

Carving the Evil Piranha Pumpkins–not my best angle…

Dog watching humans carve pumpkins

“Stupid humans. That’s food.” (Right before he got up and started eating the innerts)

Attack of the Baby Pumpkins

My work of art. This year’s “Chrissy is sick and twisted” pumpkin. If there’s time, I’ll carve more crazy pumpkins!

baby Pumpkin piranhas

One more look at my work of art

More carved pumpkins

The work of my awesome roommates

Bad Ass Pumpkin

My roommate Anna’s work of art…This one drew blood. They say once a pumpkin tastes human blood…

Deep Sea Pumpkin

My other roommate’s pumpkin. This one is still in a process, it’s going to have a baby pumpkin hanging from the top like a deep sea fish.

 

Pumpkin Family

Family Photo…

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

I Was on Pinterest Before it Was Cool

No seriously. I was.

I’ll bet you joined Pinterest just before Christmas…Maybe you joined in January, after the holiday excitement settled down. Or maybe you just started pinning about 3-4 months ago. But not me.

I joined when the only friend I had on there was the friend that recommended I check it out. (Thanks, Molly!) Then I made Penny get on it. But there we were on it before it was big. Before it was crazy. Before it was cool.

This is my Pinniversary, so I thought that I would share my favorite things that came from Pinterest. I used Pinterest for Halloween last year. It was perfect!

In order to find the perfect Halloween costume, I pinned everything I could. I’m of the making-your-own-costume-is-better school of thought, but my version of making is scissors and hot glue. I don’t sew. Not my style. So Poison Ivy was my plan…

This is what I came up with:

Poison Ivy Makeup

OK, so the makeup was professionally done by an amazing costume company in Batavia, IL called All Dressed Up (I’m not that much of a genius…the chick literally GLUED glitter to my lips. It was awesome.) She painted the ivy on my face using face paint, glitter and glue (including my glitter glued eyelids). She then glued the ivy to my face with the glue as well.

More makeup

After I decided that I was going to be Poison Ivy, I told Brian that he could be any Batman Bad Guy that he wanted. He opted for Ras Al Ghul. He got a green cloak, added gold accents and shaved his beard all funny. It was awesome.

Poison Ivy and Ras Al Ghul

For the Poison Ivy costume, I took a velvet dress I found at a thrift store and cut the neck down to something borderline inappropriate and trimmed the sleeves (which I used as leg warmers). Then I individually glued fake ivy leaves (also acquired at thrift stores) all along the edges of the dress and spiraled them up and around the back.

For my accessories, I glued sprigs of ivy to a headband so I would have ivy in my hair, I glued a piece of ivy to a cheap necklace, and then I individually glued ivy leaves all around a pair of pointy toed pumps. I bought the plus size green tights and almost called it a day…when I realized I had a green purse that would be perfect with ivy glued all around it as well. To this day, this was one of my favorite costumes.

Poison Ivy and Satan

With Cletus. Check out my shoes!

The poison ivy costume maybe cost me $15… and about 20 hours of manual labor. Yes, I individually glued on all of those leaves. On the dress, on the shoes (those shoes were BLUE), even on a purse. The shoes and purse were my pride and joy–I still have the whole thing.  I was pretty impressed with myself. (OK, I’m usually pretty impressed with myself…but other people were impressed too!)

So there you have it, my Pincreations from the days before Pinning was a thing. From the days when I actually had to Google shit to put it ON Pinterest. (Yes, most of my original pins were pinned from Google images. You’re welcome.) So thanks to me, Poison Ivy Costume Hunters can have a great Halloween.

What are your favorite things to pin on Pinterest?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!