Alternatives to making your name plural on a holiday card

Last night, I came across my favorite annual article, just in time for Thanksgiving. You know the article. The one that yells at you to stop adding a fucking apostrophe to your name when you send your Christmas card.

Well, that article is, as it always is, spot on. But it’s not just YOUR name you have to worry about. How are you addressing your recipients’ names on the envelope?

As someone who sent eleventy billion wedding invitations and thank-you cards last year and sends dozens of Christmas cards every year addressed to families and couples galore, I have developed a number of potential solutions for you. You never have to worry about a last name seeming off when it’s pluralized again.

Santa holding an envelope that says alternatives for addressing your Christmas cards

Instead of addressing your adorable photo Christmas card to The Wojs (which is the correct way to address a card to my family), try one of these simple variations.

 

Address Christmas cards using both or all the names

Look, you can try to be fancy and fail miserably with your misguided apostrophe (stop calling us the Woj’s!)…OR you can be super cool and use both of our names. Just because we got married doesn’t mean we’re no longer individuals. If you want to get really fancy with it, you can use our full names. Brian’s name is still Brian. But I suppose you can call me Chrysanthemum if you really feel as if full names are important. If we had kids or dogs, you could add their names too. Sure it would take up a lot of space, but isn’t my pet Ebenezer the Sloth worth it to you?

Postcard addressed to Brian and Chrissy Woj

Address the holiday card card to the whole family

Instead of worrying about accidentally shoving an apostrophe in the last name — because OMG you can’t possibly just put an S after a J — just address the card to a single family unit, like The Woj Family. Sure Brian and I are just two people, but we ARE a family unit. We live in the same house. We argue about toothpaste squeezing procedures. The best part is that it doesn’t matter if there’s two of us or twelve of us. It’s the same three words across the board.

Postcard addressed to The Woj Family instead of attempting a plural with an apostrophe

Address cards to the person you like better

I mean…maybe it’s the person you know better. Or you don’t know their family at all. You might just address the Christmas card to me and say, “Screw Brian. He has his own people.” Or, if you’re feeling extra generous and want Brian to feel the love, you can add him as an afterthought by addressing your card to Chrissy Woj and family. Either way, we’ll know who you really meant to send the card to.

Postcard addressed to Chrissy Woj and family

A superfluous use of apostrophes on the left? Probably. But are they grammatically correct? God, I hope so.

There you have it, folks! Easy alternatives to addressing your Christmas cards to the correct person. If you’d like to receive a Christmas card from Brian and me this year, fill out this Google form with your address and you’ll likely get something in the mail by December 24. I’m nothing if not a procrastinator.

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I am a Master Corrector or a Grammar Nazi. One of those. Except When it Comes to ME.

This post was sponsored by the fine folks at Grammarly. They may have compensated me to write this post, but I also paid for the program, because I’m a believer in their services. And sometimes I make mistakes.

I use Grammarly for proofreading because I like affirmation of my perfection. 

I am a Grammar Nazi. It’s kind of a problem.

Grammar nazi

Ever since I was a little girl, I found myself correcting the grammar of just about anyone who ever used the following words/phrases:

Ain’t

Don’t want no

Apparently, this was incredibly embarrassing for my mom. Because even though she’s the REASON I was all, “Ain’t isn’t a word!” and yelling at adults, she wasn’t a fan of it. I was a master corrector. At age 3. I hated when anyone would tell stories about me, because they’d always tell them wrong. And I would correct that too.

Baby Chrissy Swimming

Would you argue with that face?

So it’s no surprise that I picked up writing in Grade 1. I mean, go read the first poem I ever wrote if you don’t believe me. (I really did post my first poem. Because I was adorable. And yes, there are grammar errors. We didn’t all START out perfect. GEEZ.)

Actually, it’s true. My grammar wasn’t always exceptional. It wasn’t until I started my master’s degree program (English teaching) and when I taught reading comprehension with math and writing application that I really improved my writing style.

Now, you’ll find me in Skype, teamed up with several English and journalism majors, as we fight the war on grammar, one Skyping co-worker at a time.

It drives them crazy.

Especially when we self-correct our own errors. Hey, everyone makes mistakes!

But I too make my own grammar faux pas. On purpose. Because I love them.

My favorite grammar no-no’s

  • I LOVE to overuse ellipsis…LOVE it…a lot.
  • Passive voice is loved by me.
  • Short, incomplete sentences. Yes.
  • I’m a big fan of the Oxford comma, commas in general, and way. Too. Many. Periods.

 

Do you have grammar errors that you make on purpose, for style? Grammar Nazi tendencies?

This post is sponsored by Grammarly. Because I love them. Fact.

 

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

I’m a CopyWRITER not a copyrighter

Since my first job as a copywriter (which, by the way, is a word that I had to add to my Google and MS dictionaries in order to not have that annoying red squiggly line), I’ve confused many a strangers and friends alike.

You see, when I say, “I’m a copywriter,” people imagine me spending all of my time pouring over boring copyrights. That, my friends is something like a copyright attorney. Of which, I am neither an attorney, nor someone who begins to understand the details of copyrights–other than knowing I should put a little © all over the place when I talk about Quirky Chrissy©. AmIright?

So this is where spelling counts, people. Grammar is important.

Grammar nazi

Copy is print. Copy is written advertising. And written media. If you just write blogs, you are a blogger, but if you write actual website content (like for…Groupon or a videographer’s website), then you may be a copywriter. Because a copy writer—Wait for it–WRITES COPY.

Blog friends, do you have a job title that confuses people? Or just tell me something awesome about grammar. (For example: I love the Oxford comma…and for work, I’m not allowed to use it…so it’s becoming the bane of my existence. And yesterday on my personal Facebook account…I didn’t use any commas at all. It was very upsetting to me that I couldn’t edit it from my phone.)

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Brian Shares Saturday: In Which I Told Brian You Missed Him (And Had Really Bad Grammar [And was wired on coffee])

Because OBVIOUSLY you missed him. He is sometimes funnier than me. And more often than not, he finds cooler things on the internet.

But life has been busy and he has not had a lot of time to share with me the cool things he finds on the internet. Like the article about dogs who fight and the male dog lets the female dog win (Yes, blog friends, I learned about this last night when Brian would NOT let me make decisions for our team while playing Ticket to Ride, even though all the other dudes let their ladies make the decisions…and I was stubborn and said “Fine!” like we were fighting and everyone was all “ooooohhhh! Should have said ‘yes, honey’…” and Brian was like, “Hey I read this cool article about how male dogs always let the female win if they’re fighting.” and I was all, “Why didn’t you show me THAT?!” And we were still fighting.

But. Because we switched off turns after that, we both got to do our own strategizing and managed to kick everyone’s ass and obliterate the competition and LOVE Ticket to Ride…. Yes, I meant to leave that “but” as it’s very own sentence. And yes, I realize that I am still in a parenthetical statement. And yes I realize that I am rambling on about a game we played last night. I had a very strong cup of Keurig coffee for breakfast and am ON FIRE today!) So basically I couldn’t find the article. But the male lets the female win. Did you hear that, BRIAN?

So a few days ago Brian and I had this G-chat conversation:

Me: Please feel free to resume sending random pictures and links. My blog friends miss you
Brian: did they say that?
did anyone comment on the Dark Matter article? I bet they didn’t
🙁
that makes me cry a little on the inside

And I guess it’s not so much a conversation as a comment and response, but whatever. I did not fix his grammar. (Even though my title is talking about my poor grammar and over use of parenthetical statements and the fact that I started every paragraph in this post with a conjunction and several sentences…AND have several run on sentences, but I blame coffee…I did it on purpose! Sort of.)

So go over to the Brian Shares post that sort of discusses Dark Matter (well, links to it anyways) and, for the love of God, comment on it, just to tell Brian that you have no idea what it means, but you love him anyways…otherwise this Saturday spot may cease to exist. Plus, no one needs to see my boyfriend cry. Especially not me.

He did FINALLY, after lots and lots of begging, offer me these two lovely pictures. On separate days.

Dolphins!!

If you don’t know this about me, you should. I have a dolphin obsession. Maybe it’s because they’re the only mammals, other than humans who fight and bang for pleasure. Maybe it’s because they’re so damn smart. Maybe it’s because I believe that I was a dolphin in a past life. I don’t know. But I love them. A lot. And Brian always threatens to eat dolphins. And I tell him that is mean and horrible. But then he sends me gifs like this (yes gif, not gift) and I still love him.

dolphin gif

I love the dolphin chomp. It’s what I do to bubbles! I could watch this video for hours.

Superman Meets Dr. Who

So I’ve finally started watching Dr. Who from the beginning. (OK the reboot beginning…I am lazy and don’t REALLY want to watch a show from the 60’s). I had seen many episodes and enjoyed them. But for some reason Brian doesn’t always know the difference between me falling asleep because I’m bored or tired…so he never watches it with me. So in order to show him “Hey! I’ll watch this awesomeness with you!” I started watching old episodes to “catch up.”

He sent me this, which was RIGHT after I watched the episode where a space ship crashes into Big Ben. Which apparently happens a lot in Dr. Who? And Brian said to me, “This is why Superman doesn’t visit London.”

Superman meets Dr. Who

The End!

 

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!