11 Things I Think in Yoga Class

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I know that in yoga, you’re supposed to meditate and find your inner chi or peace or something…

Instead, my mind starts to wander and I have some very valuable (and bizarre) thoughts. It’s almost as good as my shower thinking (which is where I do all of my big thinking). A lot of the thoughts I have are about my boobs. But you’d think about your boobs a lot too, if you spent multiple minutes at a time with your face in your own tits. Fucking yoga.

11 Things I Think While Meditating in Yoga Asanas

I wonder what would happen if I try that next pose?

My boobs are fucking ginormous.

He (the instructor) wants me to do what?

I have the worst frontal wedgie in the history of ever.

So this is what a motorboat feels like.

I don’t care what Special K said, a power bar does not equal dinner.

I wonder if I could pop my boobs like a balloon.

I wonder if anyone would notice me pull my underwear out of my crotch.

My feet are fucking freezing, Mr. Bigglesworth.

Is that pose even possible?

I’m supposed to be meditating. Is thinking about dinner meditating?

Blog friends, what do you think about when you’re working out?


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6 Responses

  1. “So this is what a motorboat feels like.” Tears Chrissy! Fucking tears. That list is SO much funnier when you think it, because I have thought about half of those things in class and it was not so funny. Yeah, that pose is possible and I just did it… and I don;t want to do it again!

  2. I think about sex during Bikram. And how anyone would possibly want to have sex with me if they saw me contorted in unflattering poses.

    But sometimes, I think sexy thoughts about Ryan Gosling during yoga.

  3. I’m pretty sure yoga would kill me. Are those poses possible? I mean can you actually get back out of them? I can only do about three and most of them involve me flat on the floor trying not to fall asleep.

    This made me laugh so hard.

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