I was on vacation. For a whole week. 8 days to be exact. 8 days out of Chicago. 8 days out of the cold. 8 days in Florida. On a tiny little island, where grandparents hang out with each other and walk on the beach together with Chrissy. You asked me for the following:
- Gators modeling swimsuits.
- The hottest guy you can find. I want the six-pack, tattoos and everything. And you can say it was totally my fault if you get in trouble. SEE, I’m already a bad old lady!
- Every beach has “that guy.” You’ll know him when you see him. I want to see him and maybe a great woman in a two piece suit to remind my wife how fun vacation is and that we need to start saving if we plan on going.
- Awkward people.
- Maybe a great pic of you and Brian and a palm tree.
- Toes in the sand (a request from a Google Hangout)
Unfortunately…I didn’t see ANY gators in swimsuits. The lucky bitches were all naked.
Finding hot guys on Marco Island is tough. I totally was a creeper and took this one, just for you. Closest I could find.
OK, fine. You asked for awkward people. As if that guy isn’t enough. And me taking a picture of those two guys. And really, me in general…I’m pretty fucking awkward. But fine.
And if that’s not enough for you, I went all the way. I randomly video’ed the beach just to show you how far I’m willing to go for you guys. Point out the awkward, hot, etc etc…BTW, the guy reading the book? Totally hot just because he was reading a book. That is all.
My mom wanted Brian and I by a palm tree…
I fucked up on the dolphin picture. So I didn’t really know how to work my camera on Day 1…when the fucking dolphins were 20-30 feet off the shore. Brian’s dad kept telling me to run in to swim with them (not understanding that I wanted to PAY money to swim with tame dolphins…not get raped by wild dolphins…)
So here are dolphins from last year.
You really don’t WANT to see the Flintstoes…but I’ll show ’em off anyways.
Things you didn’t ask to see, but I’ll show you for funsies: