This Could Probably be a Real Post if I Wasn’t Drunk and Delayed at the Airport

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Just thought you might appreciate a quick update while I’m cocktailing (or beering…I mean…whining…err wining…FINE cidering at the airport). Whatever. I’m drinking.

Brian was just on the phone with his dad when I told him that our flight was (SURPRISE) delayed.

He relayed this information to his dad, who may be picking us up at an ungoldly hour in the morning. All I heard was Brian’s end of the conversation.

“Yeah, we HAD a direct flight. At a reasonable time…but it was the for the wrong day.”

Whoops. For those of you who missed that Facebook update…

I may have booked our flight for Saturday instead of Sunday. Luckily, I caught it in enough time to change it…we just don’t have a direct flight…or an early evening arrival.

In order to entertain you/me, I’ve decided to share the end of our trip before the rest of it.

Things that happened at the airport so far:

Traveling with booze is expensive

At luggage check, we were informed that my classy packaging of wine was not acceptable to airport standards. I learned a very valuable lesson about packing and traveling with booze today. Apparently, wine inside tied hotel laundry bags inside grocery bags wrapped with a hoodie does not constitute well-protected. $30 and an embarrassing scene of opening and rearranging our luggage later, my wine, beer, and olive oil is now safely bubble wrapped.

TSA felt up my cheese

At security check, my California cheese and sausage was determined a dangerous set of weapon and greedily manhandled by TSA. (And you remember how I feel about TSA.) This concerned Brian…not the part about the manhandling, but the part where I reacted to the manhandling. Apparently, you’re not supposed to touch your stuff unless they ask.

That’s it… so far. We’re boarding a flight to LAX now, so who knows what could happen next.

PS: If you read the comments below, you’ll discover what DID happen next. *facepalm*

What are your flying nightmares? Real or potential?

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15 Responses

  1. So… it turns out that Midway had scheduled some runway construction work for 1am this morning… and if our flight didn’t land on time, we would have been diverted to a different airport. That would have really sucked.

  2. I have never had a flight issue. No delays. No contraband in the luggage. When I got back from New Orleans the TSA had put that nice little blue note in my luggage that they went through it and creep factor aside that was it.

    I have bad luck in regards to seating partners on planes. First time to Europe I ended up with a window seat next to 2 old ladies that took sleeping pills and were OUT before we even took off so I was basically trapped in my seat for almost 10 hours. I think my ass fell asleep.

    On the way home from Europe another time I ended up next to 2 guys who were serious drinkers and were ordering doubles every hour. They were Irish so they could handle it but it was noisy and disruptive because I was in the aisle seat. I also had a sore throat so just wanted to SLEEP but couldn’t.

    1. I don’t know you, but I am going to stalk you now because of your avatar. You’re welcome, and I’m sorry.

    2. WOW! I’m jealous you’ve never had flight issues.

      I also tend to have bad luck with seating partners. These days, I’m pretty lucky to have Brian on one side (we kind of switch off who sits bitch on a plane unless we end up on an empty flight and then I take over the outer two seats.)

  3. We did not spend near enough time together at BlogHer. MY fun traveling crap was having the reader boards say one gate while my ticket said the other… at 4:30 in the morning. So I walked to one end of the terminal, where my boarding pass said I should be, but the gate was empty and the screens were blank. Then, I followed the reader boards, because they ALWAYS say, check the reader boards for your flight updates. So I stuck with what the reader boards told me and walked to the COMPLETE other end of the terminal… Did I mention it was 4:30 A.M.? Yeah. A group and I were sitting there when the screens suddenly switched from “Flight blah-blah-blah to Seattle” to “Flight whatever-the-hell to Portland.” Oh, THANK YOU, for FINALLY updating your flight boards, so that your under caffeinated passengers could walk all the way back down to the other side of the terminal AGAIN to be on time for their flight. FFS…

    I hope the rest of your travel was without incident or dumbfuckery. ox

    1. True. Story. I found that there were SO many people I wanted to spend time with and didn’t get to hang out with at all or VERY minimally. Two days just isn’t enough apparently! We need like a blogger summer camp.

      That does NOT sound like magical travel. At all.

      And if you saw what Brian commented at 2:30 in the morning…we discovered (after our terminals ALSO switched) that if we didn’t board a full plane and take off within 30 minutes (because of course, our second flight was also delayed) we would not be landing in Chicago, and instead find ourselves spending the night in Milwaukee or Indianapolis). Luckily they caught up time in air, but about 2 hours into the flight, I overheard the pilot talking to the flight attendants about some unexpected weather and the possibility of us not making it to Midway before they shut down the runways. We landed 5 minutes after they were expected to shut the runway down because of our flight and one other flight. *PHEW*

  4. I fly a lot but rarely have delays, buy have enountered many people that make me want to drink heavily. Especially when some annoy the heck out of you sitting close by. Booze does help travel woes!

    Sounds like you had a good time at BlogHer!

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