The New Year’s resolution joke’s on me

If you’ve been here for a while, you probably already know that I typically don’t subscribe to this whole New Year’s resolution, “new year, new me” bullshit. Hell, I get mad when people talk about what a shit year the previous year was.

Somehow, we’re expected to start every New Year with resolutions. Resolutions to get thinner. To get stronger. To be more organized. To be “better.” Instead, I used to make New Year’s plans. But they still had the same ring to them. They had that “er” at the end as if the me that I was in the previous year wasn’t enough for the coming year.

So I made jokes instead. But really, the year I wrote a teasing month-by-month play-by-play of how to live your life, I was focused on being present in the moment. Sometimes, reflection helps me see that what I was writing was more than just pithy banter. My subconscious knows what I want to say years before I can find the words to say it. When I said to do nothing in January, I meant it. But really, I wanted to bask in the afterglow of the holidays. I wanted to relax. I wanted to enjoy time with Brian without social obligation or other outside forces interfering. I wanted to be present.

I continued to make jokes when I set board game goals as my New Year’s plans/resolutions/whatever in 2018. I played 100 different board games, 25 of which were on my shelf of shame (games that we owned and had never played). That shelf of shame continues to grow. It’s almost embarrassing except that it’s not at all. But still I was focused on being present, playing games, being with the people I love, enjoying my life and time.

These days, it’s all about picking a word, as if you could know in January that a single world will be able to define your whole year before you even know what that year is going to throw at you. I wonder what assholes picked pandemic, quarantine, or reclusive to throw us all under the bus in 2020.

I usually like to do a post mortem in which I label my year with a theme. But last year was weird as fuck. I can’t deny that there were some good things that came out of 2020 for me. But there were also a lot of shit things. So I don’t think I need to do a review of any of it.

We watched the Netflix mockumentary, Death to 2020, and about halfway through, I looked at Brian and was like, “Dude, this is WAY too long. I literally just lived this. I don’t need a recap.”

And here’s the kicker. People changed this year. Majorly. I changed. I know that. And we can learn and grow and change in ways that are both good and bad. And just like my little feminist Grinch heart grew three sizes in 2016 — growth in character and belief which I now realize I never really wrote about — 2020 proved to build so much more of what I believe and who I am.

So this year, I’ve decided that it’s okay to join the rest of you New Year Junkies with my very own word of the year. And I’m actually super excited about it. Sure, I don’t know what 2021 is going to throw at us, crazy continuing pandemic aside, but I think this word is really encompassing enough to manage it (unless we end up in a post-apocalyptic world in which my most useful skill will likely be turning canned food into gourmet delicacies). So here it is.

*Drumroll*

My word of the year is:

gorilla hands on a macbook with a banana

Unsubscribe

At first, it was a joke in my head. As I slowly began the ardurous process of unsubscribing to political emails at the end of November and marketing emails at the end of December. I’d had enough and was ready to simplify my inbox. Clear the clutter so to speak.

I want to expand my focus on being present, and in order to do that, I know that I need to unsubscribe to more than just emails. I need to unsubscribe to my issues. And other people’s issues (as an empath, I suspect this is going to be the hardest). And every unnecessary thing that brings me down. I want to focus on living a life well lived and not a life well-Instagrammed.

So here I am, ready to take on the world, just like my girl Riley. I hope you’ll stick around for the journey.

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

It’s Not a Resolution Because I Said So.

I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions.

But I do make plans.

I have BIG fucking plans this year, kids. Big ones. Huge. Rock-my-world-massive freakin’ plans.

It’s going to take some time. And a whole lot of work. But in the end, I’m going to be more awesome and super proud of it.

10 Awesome Things I’m Going to do THIS Year.

Putting on the granny panties and the British accent(catch the reference and I’ll give you a cookie):

Number 1: Obviously will lose 20 lbs.

2018 update: Hey, I may have actually done this. I may have also gained 20 pounds so the net is a little off…but I mean I lost 20 lbs somewhere…

Number 2: Always put last night’s panties in the laundry basket. Finish master’s degree. Sure, it’s a useless degree when it comes down to my future career not being teaching…but it’s still a master’s degree. And I’d like it to be completed. (I mean really…it’s one silly little thesis. How hard can it be? I write for a living.)

2018 update: It only took a couple more years, but in 2015, I graduated with a Master’s degree. And Brian framed that MOTHAFUCKA. 

Number 3: Will be published.

2018 update: Again, only took a few years, but in 2016, I was published in Jen Mann’s anthology, I Just Want to be Perfect. And I can die happy (actually, not yet, bitches. We’ve still got work to do).

Number 4: Will publish a book. Will write a book.

2018 update: Okay, I’m still working on this. BUT I’m much farther along than I’ve ever been. More than 10K farther along. It’s coming you guys, and I’m so excited about it. 

Number 5: Will self-publish the aforementioned book.

2018 update: I mean, unless I can sell it to a publisher…

Number 6: Will get an amazing job. (I feel as though I should put this one a little higher on the list…but I mean…at least it’s on the list, right?)

2018 update: Been there done that. Quit that shit to chase all the fucking dreams. 

Number 7: Crap! I still need 4 more things… Will take at least 3 internet vacations. Yes. That’s a good one. I like my internet vacations. Going off the grid. Maybe at least one will involve a beach. There’s no internet on the beach.

2018 update: Who even knows if I did this. 

Number 8: Crap! I still need 3 more… this is not as easy as I thought it would be… OH! I know! Will attend awesome blogger event…Blogher 2013. And meet bloggers. And give hugs to strangers. Done and done.

2018 update: I did that. Four times at Blogher, twice at BlogU, and twice at the Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop that blew my MFing mind. 

Number 9: Will make money on blog. I don’t care if it’s $5 or $5,000…I will make dollars.

2018 update: Dudes and dudettes, I dominated this for a while. I mean, not full income dominated, but I was pretty good at the hustle…

Number 10: Will win a million dollars from McDonald’s Monopoly. 13 is my lucky number. This is the year of my golden birthday. 2013 is it, guys. I can feel it. I’m going to be a big winner this year.

2018 update: Now it’s all about the Jewel Monopoly, but a girl can dream right?

What are your big plans?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!