This year has been…interesting thus far to say the least. In addition to the deaths of some of my favorite people…
Jareth Bowie. Snape Rickman, I’ve been stricken with a few grievous issues. Only a few weeks in and I’ve had the laryngitis, back maladies, a small addiction to the Twitter, and a serious case of Netflixitis.
What is Netflixitis, you ask? Well, first, I thought to myself, Self, you just made up Netflixitis. Aren’t you clever?
And then I thought to myself, Self, you should probably Google Netflixitis to see if you’re really the first person to think of such a clever thing.
And then I Googled Netflixitis and discovered that it is, in fact, a “real” thing. Of course, it is pretty much exactly what you expect it to be. It’s an affliction of the mind and body in which you physically cannot say no to Netflix. No matter how many times it asks you if you’re “still watching Gilmore Girls?” No matter how many episodes you can get through on a Saturday that you have zero plans (and for the record, Netflix will ask you at least 3 times if you’re still watching). No matter how many Christmas trees are still up in your big, fancy, unkempt house. No matter how many things you haven’t planned for the wedding that’s nearing on 8 months away.
Netflixitis is a healing disease. Especially when it includes snacks. And a lot of drugs for your back pain. And just the right positioning on the couch. It may take weeks of recovery. And for that, we’re thankful that all seven seasons of Gilmore Girls are available on Netflix. And by “we,” I mostly mean me, although Brian has partaken of the Gilmore Girls for several hour spans of time.
Netflixitis is a disease that also doubles as an idea machine. When I told Katie I was starting on the Gilmorathon last month, she warned me of several weddings, but I had no idea that each season would be ripe with marriages and weddings and big fancypants parties. Did you know that there are AT LEAST seven weddings on Gilmore Girls? I’m only halfway through Season 5, and I can count SEVEN freakin’ weddings. And all the ideas. Oh man. I mean, I want midgets dressed like angels dancing under papier-mâché mushrooms, don’t you?
I’m totally kidding.
Netflixitis is a beautiful thing. Netflix is my beautiful thing.
Even if I do have this minor condition.
7 Signs you may have a case of Netflixitis
You continue to binge watch episodes of a TV show that you’ve never seen before, despite the dishes that haven’t been washed in a week…just like your hair.
You’re now binge watching episodes of a TV show you’ve seen at least twice all the way through.
You’ve watched three bad horror movies, and are nuking the popcorn for round four.
You’re imagining your life as Liz Lemon, Lorelai Gilmore, and Buffy Summers at the same time. You’re smart, quirky and a total bad ass. You rock. Netflixitis makes you awesome.
You wake up from a dream in which you’re a teenager and boys are sneaking into your window (seriously, Rory lives on the first floor of her dorm and people can just get into her room? I lived on the first floor and we were lucky the windows even opened).
You come home from work, grab a sammy, and plop down in front of the TV for night of the Gilmore Girls, only to be highly disappointed when you realize you left your beverage in the kitchen.
You haven’t left the couch in three days and your boyfriend is sending out SOS signals from your bed.
Have you ever suffered from Netflixitis? What is your favorite thing to binge watch right now? Are you a Gilmore Girls addict?
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I love the text message!
I too, have Netflixitis, the kind where you would rather binge watch all five seasons of Breaking Bad, AGAIN, then watch anything else on TV.
Is regular TV even a thing anymore?
You can’t go by me. I was never a regular TV watcher. I read while my Ex watched TV.
“Please turn that down” was foreplay for us.
The desease also includes hours of stand up comedians….people I’ve never heard of. It is too much fun. Love Netflix
I’m so glad!
I totally binge watched Making a Murderer in 2 days.
That’s on the list. We have half a season left of GG.
“You’ve watched three bad horror movies, and are nuking the popcorn for round four.”
Holy shitballs! Have you got spy cameras in my living-room? I’m asking for real.
Nope! Aren’t they so awesome though?!
Awful movies, especially self-aware awful movies, are a secret passion of mine (not so secret now though, obviously). They’re an art form in themselves.
That reminds me, I really need to get around to watching Plan 9 from Outer Space. I am told it’s the don of all crappy movies.
Rewatching a show I’ve already seen twice? Yep, story of my life. Netflix is my shit.