Planning a Wedding is Hard Work

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It’s been a little over two months since Brian and I got engaged.  We (and by we, let’s be honest here, I mostly mean me) are deep in the throws of the planning.

Since Brian has been telling me we would get married this year since last January  (why yes, he did wait until December to pop the question), I knew we didn’t have a lot of time to waste. So we jumped right in.

It’s gone a little something like this:


Read wedding planning book. I did this last summer, before Brian proposed, when my wedding guru friend Alessandra hooked me up with her amazingly helpful and real book.

Leave book on bedside table, let boyfriend wake up next to you reading book, and make notes in the margins when you know he’s looking.

*Results may vary, engagement not guaranteed by buying or reading this book.

Get engaged. Sometimes,  this will happen before the wedding book reading. You do you, Boo.

Drink champagne.

Ask mom to stop blabbing to the world before you get a chance to tell some of your besties before they hear about it on Facebook.

Tell the Internet.

Drink champagne.

Start receiving wedding advice from anyone and everyone. Choose wisely which advice you listen to and which advice goes in one ear and out the other. So far the best advice has come from my boss: “Don’t let the details stress you out. Don’t get caught up in Pinterest.”

The worst advice comes from everyone else (and let’s be honest here,  I’ve offered this up to a lot of people, myself, and even try to convince Brian it’s true, but it’s likely a do as I say, not as I do situation): “Don’t worry about what other people think. It’s your wedding. You’re paying for it. Do what you want.” Yeah. Right. You know how many people have already told me how irritating they find a wedding without cake? Fucking Pavlovian responses. Wedding bells = cake. Even when the bride and groom don’t particularly love cake.

Drink champagne.

Re-read wedding planning book. Alessandra encourages a do what you want mentality but she also understands that it’s not always possible and to focus more on the not stressing out part. She’s realistic about that shit.

Make future husband read the groom chapter of wedding book.

Binge watch Gilmore Girls.

Drink champagne.

Start making actual decisions.

Like the where: I started emailing venues for pricing, capacity, and other details. I plugged it all into a fancy spreadsheet I created and mathed the shit out of the prices. I narrowed it down to three places, found out availability for the general season we wanted, visited the venues and scoped out details, and ultimately made our decision.

And the photographer: This was a factor in our location as well. The photographer we (I) wanted was available on certain dates, which narrowed our venue options further.

And the DJ: We were so close to skipping this and just making a playlist, but decided the cost was worth it for someone who could actually read the crowd and manage the tunes to keep the kind of atmosphere we want.

Drink champagne.

And now here we are. Exactly 7 months from our wedding. We’re not completely on track with the timetable mapped out in the book, but it’s more of a guide than a rulebook, which is what we needed. With a lot more to do, I’m still not stressed. I’m excited. And in the grand scheme of all the things, the ONLY thing that matters at the end of the day? Is that Brian and I are pledging to spend the rest of our lives together.

So, fine. Let them eat cake.


What was it like when you planned your wedding? If you’re not married yet, what are you most excited/worried about? What was the best wedding you’ve been to like? The worst?

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19 Responses

  1. One of the best things we did for our wedding was hire a friend of my mom’s to act as the “wedding planner” on the day of the wedding, just so someone else was there to answer the “where am I supposed to be right now?” and “where should I put this?” questions rather than me doing it. She also helped me take off my fake eyelashes when they were driving me crazy, which was even more important. Totally necessary and totally affordable since she was a friend of mom’s rather than a pro.

  2. I like to speak kindly about my children, Blabbing is not a word I would use. Speaking in a loud, excited voice to anyone who would listen….ok shut up, your right.
    I’m staying out of this wedding planning, until you ask for my opinion. I am trying to be the good mother of the bride…is it working?

  3. Planning was the most awful stressful, terrible thing, which nearly split us up. There are ways in which I wish it had! BUT drunk on champagne is AWESOME, and you and your beloved are FOR REAL properly together, not stupid together like I was with Exby 🙂

  4. I plan events on the regular, so planning our wedding was no big deal. And I totally agree that there must be cake. Not just for weddings, for every occasion. I had a finger full of cake while making my coffee this morning… because Wednesday.

    1. I was a catering manager and used to run conferences/events for organizations, so that’s kinda how I feel about the actual party planning aspect of it. It’s the other stuff I’m avoiding. 😉 Dude, if I was a big cake advocate, I’d totally be down with cake for breakfast. Preferably cheesecake though.

  5. I enjoyed planning our wedding. I found the toughest choices were the music and where to seat people. My suggestion to you? Don’t cheap out on your photographer! (I learned this lesson the hard way).

  6. Let everyone else eat cake, but make sure that you and Brian have what YOU want. If it’s pie, then have the best pie you can get. If you want Mimosa Sundaes then by all means have them. Oh, and don’t stress, QC, this is your day and it will be wonderful. It will be full of love and laughter, and all the good things a wedding should be full of.

    1. Thanks darlin! I ultimately decided Fuck Cake. Because we don’t like it and I don’t want to serve crappy cake because I didn’t want to waste time tasting cake. But the alternative we went with is pretty badass.

  7. i cannot believe the cake thing is even still a discussion.
    this is rediculous and anyone telling you what to do or not do is an ass. well intentions? maybe. but still an ass. they can have cake (and whateverthefuggelse they want) at their own wedding.
    or byoc (bring your own cake, you sugar addicted, maybe (but probably not) well intentioned, ass).

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