Gonna take some time to do the things we never have

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Last August, I discovered I was losing something. No. I had lost something. I didn’t realize the extent to which it was missing, but I knew I needed to make a change. My ever-present smile was dimmer than it had been in a long time. I was suffering from depression. I should have noticed months prior. When surrounded by writers and creators, I hid in my room instead of reveling in the joy of being around like-minded people. I knew that I needed a change in my life, and I struggled to figure out what it was that I needed.

As it turns out, I needed to follow my dreams. I needed to take some time off from the corporate desk monkey life and see if I could do this writer thing for real. So I’m writing. A novel, actually. I’ll tell you more about that soon. Of course, in the time I’ve had, I’ve also managed to use it wisely and do some really important things.

The first of these tasks was to finally memorize the lyric’s to Toto’s Africa. Because everyone else knows them, and I’m tired of “mumble mumble BLESS THE RAINS DOWN IN AFRICA mumble mumble.” It turned out to be the exact right thing to do, because it spoke to me about taking time to do the things I never have. And so I continued on my journey.

I saw Hamilton. And proceeded to memorize the lyrics to Act One and most of Act Two of the show. Give me time, and Act Two will be finished as well.

But I haven’t just been working on lyric memorization.

I crafted homemade apple butter, applesauce, and pear butter.

I made homemade beer cheese spread.

I started cooking real meals again, the way I used to when Brian and I were still in the budding stages of our relationship.

I also eat a lot of food.

I cleaned my kitchen. Like once. I’m not a miracle worker, you guys.

I may have done laundry a couple times too.

Brian knew going into this marriage that I was not an organized cleaner or anything like that. Phew

I helped my bestie plan her wedding.

I planned two wedding showers.

I hosted another kick-ass Halloween Party.

I really like throwing parties.

I created a Disney-focused Instagram account.

I decided to start Disneybounding (dressing like Disney characters) in my regular life, and it was the BEST decision.

I spent a lot of quality time with my niece, indoctrinating her into the world of Disney by watching a different Disney movie when she would come over. 

Disney is life, you guys.

I did stand-up for the first time.

I began training at The Second City.

I submitted work to (and was subsequently rejected by) McSweeney’s and other fancy publications that I plan to keep submitting to.

A sense of humor. It’s important.

I dyed my hair pink.

I finally made all those Shutterfly photo albums I’ve been meaning to make for the last several years.

I set up a desk in my front room where the light shines in an open space that makes me so much happier to write in than a cramped office.

We adopted a puppy.

I let this blog fall to the wayside while I found myself, rediscovered my voice, and figured out what I wanted to do with it. But I finally have a plan, you guys. And I hope you’ll stick with me as I move forward!

I am living my best life, and I am so incredibly proud of the things that I’m accomplishing and the person that I am. This journey is making me see how incredible the world truly is, and I can’t wait to make my mark.

What are you doing to live your best life? Or what’s a change you can make to start moving in that direction?

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20 Responses

  1. Foreign residencies. Yoga. Origami. Bird watching. Writing. Observing. More travel. Last night, I booked my trip for a milestone birthday coming up.

    Above all, basking in the glory of MTM. He’s my soul, and he feeds my soul.

    I’m so glad you’re doing life this way. We never know what might happen when we give ourselves permission. xo

    1. Relieved is ABSOLUTELY the perfect word for it. I was drowning, and that one little choice pulled me up. You will definitely see me. Even if I’m stalking you for more ‘za.

  2. This made me smile. And follow your Instagram. And comment for the first time. Hello!
    I want to live my best life too. I feel like everything is on hold right now because all my energy goes to dealing with pain and pain treatment and depression, and I don’t even know where to start. But you got me feeling inspired though. Go you!

    1. Aww yay! Hi and welcome! I understand that feeling of everything being on hold. The best way to start is with a single change at a time. Depression makes EVERYTHING so. much. harder. And baby steps can get you moving in the right direction. I’m cheering for you, girl!

  3. EVERYTIME you talk about staying in your room I’m like “It’s because of me. I’m debbie downer. She was fine after i left.” I was perfectly happy being antisocial but I didn’t mean to infect you.

    But I’ve been trying to shake the blues too. I’m glad it’s turning around for you. So proud of how brave you are!!

    1. IT WASN’T YOU!

      No but seriously, even after you left, I was all, nope. Gonna stay hidden. I spent several hours in the room alone. Until I realized that free hors-d’oeuvres awaited me at that party. And nothing motivates me more than food.

    1. I love that you know my voice! You make me so happy, Lola. Thank you for being my friend. Distance and all that nonsense, your constant awesomeness cheers me on even when you don’t even realize it.

  4. Hooray for YOU! I just love love love that you took those important steps back to YOU. And in doing so, you’ve discovered joy in so many new things, new goals, new opportunities. Go get’m girl!

  5. I love this! You are perfection. The best part is that you are reflecting your joy from embracing so many things. So often I get the sense that people make changes out of desperation, and are looking for a single key to happiness.
    As for me, I’m trying to combat my ever-present mindset of dwelling on my failures. How I don’t measure up. How I’ve embarrassed myself. I knew it was something I tend to do, but now I’m conscious of it, I’m amazed at how it is really affecting me. Right now, I’m telling my head to stop when I bring these up. I’m working on then replacing those thoughts with ones celebrating my success, intuition and power.

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