Going to the Gym is Like an Atheist Stepping into Church

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And guys…I didn’t spontaneously combust. We went to the gym last night. After paying for a membership for several months and going less than once a month. We went back.

And I took a chance on zumba.

And despite the fact that I am in TERRIBLE shape.

Despite the fact that I have 2 bad ankles, 2 bad knees and 2 bad hip flexors.

Despite the fact that I was the chubbiest girl in the room.

Despite the fact that I could BARELY keep up with the skinny bitches.

I lasted the entire 60 minute class. And lived to consider going back.

Once I stopped staring at my stomach in the mirror and watching myself bounce around like a bowl of jello going on a joyride…I kind of caught on. And caught myself…Smiling. Exhausted. But smiling. It felt good!

(BTW, I hate it when I use my best line in the title. But I’m too lazy to change it and put something else up there. I feel like I let you guys down. Wait. I can make it up to you. Keep reading).

I did all of this crazy zumba-ing while injured! So on Wednesday when we were getting off the train, I slipped on the metal stair. The doors were still closed, the train was still moving, and if I hadn’t been holding on to the pole/railing/bar thingy for dear life, I would have fallen into the door, which would have opened, and I would have fallen out of a moving train to my klutzy death. But I WAS holding on, so none of that nonsense happened. Except that in holding on, I pulled every muscle from my wrist to my neck trying to rescue myself from a very embarrassing death.

Brian’s reaction?

Or should I call it, Brian’s lack of reaction?

“Did you hurt your ankle?”


“OK, good.”

He’s immune to my klutzy. I suppose that’s only natural when the word “ow!” comes out of my mouth more than any other single word.

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19 Responses

  1. I’m not only a klutz but a very loud klutz… but always follow it up with, “I’m okay!” Now it’s to the point where if I don’t say it, he assumes something is wrong.

    *dishes crashing in the kitchen*
    “I’m okay!”

    *all the bottles in the shower falling to the floor*
    “I’m okay!”

    *a slight “oomf” as I trip over the cat*
    “Are you okay?”

  2. Zumba makes me sweat like crazy, but it’s pretty fun, actually. When I was taking it, my class had a lot of middle aged women and ladies of varying sizes, so it wasn’t intimidating either. I’m proud of you for getting down with your bad self!

  3. I hate it when I use my best lines for titles too. Sometimes it happens though. Glad you enjoyed Zumba. You couldn’t pay me to go to a gym. Okay, that’s not true. You’d have to pay me a heck of a lot to go to a gym.

  4. I don’t know if I’m up for Zumba. I did go to a local rockabilly concert held outdoors for the N. Orange County residents in the city I live in. Nobody was dancing (which was unusual) except for a few kids so when they start playing “Buy Me A Mercury” I just had to get up and dance. So that was my nod to exercise last night 😉

  5. Isn’t it the best when you finally find a work out that’s actually fun! Here’s to many more hours of sweating and smiling in your near future.

  6. Hmm, according to my research on wikipedia the women weightlifters that did the best in the London Olympics were Chinese and woman from the former Soviet Republics. You gotta start training again Chrissy!!!

  7. Good for you. I like going to the gym but I loathe taking the classes because my gym is in a very “corporate” area of the city and 99% of the people that go there are skinny bitch executives with perfect hair who don’t sweat.

  8. I’ve only done Zumba on xbox and it was pretty fun. It made me want to get an xbox, which I have been debating doing for almost two years now. I should just do it because then maybe I’d get back in shape!

    So glad you lived!

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