It all started on the train with the two women sitting behind me, talking about their kids in baseball. The struggle was real. I was only half paying attention until one of them, let’s call her Lefty, said, “Oh jeepers.”
I knew it was time to pull out my phone and document snippets of this conversation,because I know y’all love it when I eavesdrop.
Then Righty says, “Then, I watched The Nerds. You know, After the Thrones. They’re all SO nerdy! They think they’re so cool. But they’re such nerds.”
I don’t think Baseball Mom got the memo, that it’s hip to be a square these days…Even my mom (who was a cool girl) thinks the Big Bang gang is cool.
Lefty jumps back in with, “Did I ever tell you what Brett’s final grade was? He got an A. And she still wanted him to take it again. He told me, ‘She still says I don’t know the concepts.'”
Coming from a recovering teacher, I can attest to how hard it is not to pass students with Cs and Ds, but if they don’t understand the concepts, how the hell do they get As?
Righty, apparently checking her phone, “My email is full. It says delete some files and try again. What Files!?”
Lefty was only half listening, because then she chimed in with, “I had 1,099 texts. From you from two years!”
A few minutes later, Righty was back on Game of Thrones, “I hope Danerys and whatsher face hook up. Yara? Maybe he’ll become an unsullied. What’s his face? He’s halfway there. Poor thing. He did betray his fam – his…Starks. When is Danerys going to find out all this stuff?”
Then they rambled some more about baseball and kids…
Righty was all, “What’s an Ethel Merman?”
And Lefty replied, “It’s German.”
Righty responded with “I have such a hard time visualizing things…”
I couldn’t help it.
Then Righty starts singing, “Do you, do you want my love?” Followed by a whistle.
Lefty said something quiet enough for me to miss, and Righty quipped back, “It’s cuz I’m fancy. Fancy Nancy.”
I wish I was making all if this up. But it’s 100% real life.
Then Lefty says something like, “I’m sorry that you almost died but…I’m really glad I swim. It helps me!”
Righty dramatically reiterates, “I would have died. I would literally have died.”
Ummm…okay, Righty. Glad you didn’t die or anything.
I tried to turn them off, but then Righty said, “I’m like your lady’s maid.”
Lefty, realizing this was a brillz idea, responded, “I need a lady’s maid!”
And then they started talking about their appearances.
Lefty was all, “You don’t have football shoulders.”
Righty knows a good life when she sees it…”Thank GOD I don’t have football shoulders.”
“I do and it sucks.”
Poor Lefty with her football shoulders.
And then Righty starts singing again, “Do you do you want my love?”
You know, commuting on the train is almost as entertaining as watching one of my favorite binge watches on Netflix. Everyone is a character in this world. Everyone. I get a glimpse into their lives, just like the tiny Carrie Bradshaw I’m currently obsessing over in The Carrie Diaries. Or the crazy awesome kids in the weird AF town on Stranger Things. Or my favorite office culture on 30 Rock.
What characters do you love to watch?
This post was brought to you by my friends at Netflix, who provided me, as a member of the Stream Team, with a year of Netflix, a device on which to watch it, and this month, a freaking awesome harmonica to play with. All opinions and words are mine.