For some reason, there are random dolphin statues all over Marco Island. Last year, I got drunk on fruity cocktails, and hugged this guy:
This year was no different.
Of course, a lot more than drunken dolphin hugging happened…
I Hate TSA
If you remember from our trip to Disney World last September, with the drama of the skunk (actually, go read that. Right. Fucking. Now. Because it’s an awesome story. I’ll wait.) I have a packing problem. Not that I pack too much, but that it takes me a really fucking long time to pack things properly…And then TSA fucks it all up. So after I spent hours packing for Marco, I wrote TSA a little note.
And you’ll never guess whose suitcase they checked this time…Brian’s! I think that they opened mine, and though Fuck That…we’ll open the other one. SUCCESS!
It wouldn’t be a Chrissy trip if injuries weren’t involved. Yes, I managed to carve several gashes into both of my feet, slit my wrist, slice up my hand, burn random designs into my body, and die of dysentery a la The Oregon Trail because I couldn’t carry the whole buffalo back to my covered wagon. OK, maybe not that last one. But I did tame a giant albino boa constrictor with my bare hands. (That one may be a bit of an exaggeration.)
OK, so the gashes (at least 5 in each foot) may or may not have come from the beachy shells stuck in my pink Walmart water shoes that have braved rivers, lakes, and oceans…Apparently when you let the ocean wash into your shoes, you shouldn’t walk like 5 miles in them. Just a word of advice…
And the slicing up of my hand…Apparently you shouldn’t put your hand under water in the ocean feeling around for shells. One just might bite you. Or three…
Slitting my wrist? I think that wine glass tried to kill me! I was drying the wine glasses when I must have been drying a little too hard. The next thing I know, I’ve got a stem in one hand and a foot in the other…and the wrist near the foot of the glass is gushing blood from the broken stem jabbing mighty hard into my wrist.
This is how to properly burn one’s self in the most random designs imaginable. Let the water of the ocean rush all up in your leg business and forget to reapply the sunscreen.
Braving the “Wild” Animals in the Everglades (ish)
I was bullied. Seriously bullied into a snake around my neck. And an alligator in my hands. You can see the fear in my eyes.
In Which I Said “Hi” From the Beach During My Sand Dollar Hunt
I had been out since 7 AM (sunrise), but I took a break from sand dollar hunting to say hello to my blog friends! Also, I feel goofy on video.
In total, I found about 50 sand dollars that I brought home with me. Some cracked along the way, but holy crap. They call it sand dollar spit for a reason.
In Which I Promoted Quirky Chrissy
Want more Chrissy? I wrote a Top 10 List over on my side blog…The Top 10 Most Frustrating Book Characters.
LOL. When I came back from Europe once customs had ripped apart my luggage and I kinda laughed because I was on my way back and my suitcase was filled with dirty laundry. Suckers.
It’s true. If they checked it when i was on my way there and left my stuff messy I’d be PISSED. But if dude wants to search my dirty socks. Go right ahead. *snickers*
I think the same thing. The note did not make it into the suitcase on the way home. Everything was in Jewel bags (err grocery bags) and balled up full of dirty.
I have SO much to say! Like a post worth… I am on my iPhone, so your site is safe from my, I love you SO much, let me count the ways…. 101…. Until I turn my computer on tomorrow morning! But I will say this, I watched your video laying in bed next to the hubs, he was reading, I was trying to read your post to him, anyways, when the video finished I sighed and looked at him and said, how can you not love her!!! He asked me what was wrong with me and went back to reading. More tomorrow!
I adore you! I was laughing so hard reading this that Brian was like, “what the hell is wrong with you?”
I just stumbled over here from Dedicated to Life, and you are hysterical! I needed a damn good laugh today as my boss is in Nazi mode again! Hope you don’t mind that I pimped you on FB and Twitter 🙂
Thanks for stopping by! I absolutely love a good pimping! Glad I could make you laugh. That’s my aim!
I, um, think I love you… in a non-creepy fashion, if there is such a thing. I can def. say I want to be your friend. Because you are seriously fun. And also? I don’t have any friends. So I guess that takes some of the special right out of my comment.
*sigh*… Forever Alone 🙂
Aww! You’re sweet! 🙂 I’m SURE you have friends! If only because I want to feel super special 😀