I have been having a lot of bizarre dreams since this whole pandemic thing started. And apparently I’m not alone.
How very Stephen King of us.
Here are just a couple things I’ve dreamed about…
I can count the number of hugs from people other than Brian I’ve received/given on two hands. Most of them were so habitual that I didn’t even realize I’d done it until it was too late to remind myself that I’m not supposed to hug people. The only two I purposefully engaged in were with my 3-year-old niece — because how can you even tell a toddler she can’t hug you? And then I hugged my brother on my birthday — because I just wanted a damn birthday hug okay? But I haven’t hugged either of my parents, despite seeing them with some frequency. They’ve been a part of our bubble since the third week of the pandemic because I had to take Dad to doctor’s appointments.
So it should come as no surprise that hugging plays a key role in my nightly adventures. I’ve dreamed of long and cozy hugs, consoling hugs, hugs of affection from my nieces and nephews, hugs with strangers and contraband hugs, full-well knowing that we’re not supposed to hug. Last night, I hugged some high school friends who were all commenting on a real-life Facebook post about hugging.
If I were Dorothy, I would have hugged hugs before Covid and said, I think I’ll miss you most of all. Because that has been the hardest to accept.
Grocery store nightmares
Most of my Covid anxiety happens in grocery stores. Too many people and no one following the rules, signs, or one-way aisles. I even got in a real life altercation with some lady in Aldi who refused to wear a mask, even though they’re required in Illinois. I wouldn’t have even said anything if she wasn’t breathing her germs all over the cheese. As it was, I did, and she started me down, stormed toward me, and breathed in my face all the while glaring at me as if her dagger eyes could hurt me. I called her a bitch and moved on with my life.
Which makes sense that I’ve had no fewer than a dozen grocery dreams. Some in which I’m yelling at strangers, others in which strangers are entering my personal space or crowding me, and more still in which I just have a general feeling of dread walking into the store as if it were Mordor.
I’ve since left most of my grocery shopping to the professionals and swear by Whole Foods delivery (it’s free with Amazon Prime) and curbside pickup everywhere else.
Travel dreams that turn nighmarish
I’ve already had to cancel at least 4 trips that I can think of off the top of my head. I miss adventures and Disney and seeing new places, and I suspect more trips will be canceled before the year is up.
So I dream of going places. I’ve dreamt of travel with Brian, girls weekends in rental houses, and of course, Disney. Of course, all of these dreams have been tainted with a Covid haze. People not wearing masks and standing too close to me. Getting sick. Not being able to come home. Getting other people sick.
Basically, I’m full of all the anxiety. I have been slowly opening my life up and doing some things, but keeping my exposure to a minimum.
I don’t grocery shop, because it just gives me too much anxiety.
But I have gone to some other stores. If they are crowded, I turn around and leave. If they’re empty, I wear a mask, carry my own Clorox wipes with me and use them to open doors, wipe carts, touch credit card styluses, etc.
Brian and I have been out to eat a few times on patios, and we wear our masks whenever talking to servers etc.
We’ve seen a few people, but typically do patio/deck social distancing BYOpicnic.
I got my hair done, and last week, I took an even bigger chance and finally got a massage (after I confirmed all of their precautions).
So I want to know what you’re dreaming about? How are you handling life with Covid? Are you still staying home or adventuring out? Tell me everything.
I dream of people not social distancing. I’m a little pissed but more confused. Why? Weird.
I’ve been having lots of weird and vivid dreams as well. Dreams about gatherings, mostly. I’m always with a lot of people I know and love. During all of this, my husband and I are moving across the country, so our stress level has been high. Luckily all of our stops have been in rural areas with low population density so far, and once we arrive we will quarantine in our new apartment for 14 days while we unpack. That being said, I’m always a little scared that we aren’t being careful enough – especially as I see reports of the rise in cases in the U.S. And yet, I am stubbornly optimistic because I know all we can do is our best. We wear masks. We sanitize. We keep our distance. And in between, we hold each other close and keep moving forward.
I feel this so much. I am always nervous that I’m doing too much and not doing enough. Good luck on your move, friend! Take care and stay safe!