When in Doubt, Ask for Help and DON’T Back Out of the Parking Garage

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So, you may have noticed that I’ve been slacking on the awesome recently. I mean…I shared an e-mail from my boyfriend, a ridiculous picture of myself, and a ranty rant about dress codes last week.  I was beginning to think that I was losing my touch.

But then…Like magic…All of a sudden out of nowhere I have 15 new stories to tell you. But today I will only tell you one. Because I have to save some of this goodness for a rainy day. Or a brain block day. Or a writer’s block day. Or my memoirs. One of those.

So today I’m going to tell you about last night’s adventure.

I met up with a girlfriend of mine for dinner after work. We had a general location in mind, but not an actual restaurant. We were off to Rosemont (a mere blocks away from O’Hare, where I briefly daydreamed of jumping on a plane to New Orleans.) I arrived with the intentions of finding a place for us to dine, and then I would tell her where to meet me. Really, guys, this SEEMED like a logical plan. Considering I didn’t know the area all that well and everything in the area on Yelp seemed super pricy.

Finally, I made my way to an area I used to sort of know a little bit. There was a movie theater and a parking garage the last time I was there, but now it’s full of restaurants and such. Fab! I thought. We’ll eat at one of these places. So I pulled into the parking garage without a second thought.

Until I got to the second level. $13? That’s fucking crazy. But there were 3 lanes. One didn’t have a ticket dispenser. So I followed that one to the third level. Where I was met with a ticket dispenser. $13? Fuck that shit. Fuck that a lot.™

Except that there was a sign that read, “No refunds.”

So what’s a girl to do when she’s on the 3rd level of a very coned off area of a parking garage?

Back the fuck up.

Literally. I backed up. All the way down around the corner to the second level. Then I inched my way toward the original ramp…the one lane, steep-as-shit, one way ramp.

And some cars starting to come up, so I pulled forward a bit to let them through.

When it looked all clear, I thought…OK. Let’s do this thing. And I started backing down slowly on the ramp. Until a car starting pulling up. SHIT! I put the car back into drive and maneuvered my way back up to the second level. I pulled far enough out of the way to let the guy through, but he must have seen my distressed look, so he rolled down his window to get my attention.

And I looked over and this teenage boy, who couldn’t have been more than 19 looks at me with pity and asks if I need help. I told him my dilemma (not that I had backed down from the 3rd level though. That shit was embarrassing) and he said that I just needed to take a ticket and pull through to the exit. What the what? Really? Why didn’t I think of that? And then he told me to double check with the guy in charge by pushing the…wait for it…HELP button.

After following both sets of instructions and confirming that I wouldn’t get charged by the annoyed parking garage guy who answered my call for help…I made my way safely out of the parking lot and into a free parking space.

And for the record, guys, my pal had equally as much difficulty getting to the restaurant…As she past the correct exit, got off the interstate too far north, and kept driving north until I asked her whether the sun was on her left or right and then insisted she turn around immediately.

But we had a delightful meal and a really cool Irish pub. And then I almost accidentally went back into the parking garage. I swear I’m not a complete flake. Usually.


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24 Responses

  1. We went to watch a friend play at bar down there recently. Our parking garage was TERRIBLE! I don’t think it was $13 (but honestly you’d have to ask my husband), but the setup was just ridiculous. There were very few signs, and the ones they did have were essentially hidden by the structure itself until you were right on top of it. Everything was two-way traffic, but you couldn’t really see if cars were coming, so you just had to go and hope for the best. You couldn’t tell where you were supposed to go and we had to back up and turn around a couple times because we’d been funneled into some place we didn’t want to be, or weren’t supposed to be (of course now I can’t remember the specifics). It was a nightmare. Apparently Rosemont just has terrible parking garages.

  2. LOL I can totally picture some punk kid looking at you like you’re a total nutcase saying, “Uh Lady? Just push the help button and ask the dude.” Too priceless.

  3. I leave you with wisdom from the Tao Te Ching: “I practice inaction, and the people look after themselves.”
    But from the Sage it is so hard at any price to get a single word
    That when his task is accomplished, his work done,
    Throughout the country every one says: “It happened of its own accord”.

      1. Brilliant? Sadly no. But you do have plenty of hutzpah! I woulda probably just paid the ticket cursing under my breath that the bastards got me.

  4. This is TOTALLY something that would happen to me! WHY DON’T WE LIVE IN THE SAME TOWN?!

    I honestly thought the story was going to end with you getting into an accident and having to spend way more than $13 on the night. I’m glad to see that didn’t happen. 🙂

  5. This sounds like the beginning of a romantic comedy that would definitely star Michael Cera and Kat Dennings.

    Except that you aren’t 18 years old. What’s up with prince charming showing up 10 years too late? Someone should really buy that dude a watch!

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