Activities That Don’t Involve Booze That Make Valentine’s Day at Work Fun

Cheese tasting lessons (obviously my contribution to the team)

Cheese Tasting

I explained the art of letting cheese sit to room temperature before consumption to enhance the flavor profile. Basically, I made them eat cheese twice. Once, when it was cold, and again when it had warmed to room temp. Because I’m fucking awesome.

Candy necklace eating contest (also my contribution to the team)

Candy necklaces

Chocolate Roulette (also me)

It only took me three pieces of chocolate to find the coconut truffle!

It only took me three pieces of chocolate to find the coconut truffle!

It only took me three pieces of chocolate to find the coconut truffle!

Star Wars light saber battles thanks to glowy light sabers in our valentines!

Star Wars Valentines

Who can make their boyfriends feel the worst after receiving floral love from the office Cassonova?

Flowers from co-workers

Guess who keeps leaving the secret Valentine messages?

Secret Valentine

How to divide 8 chocolate covered strawberries by 10 people

Chocolate covered strawberries

One co-worker brought in delicious chocolate covered strawberries to share…but some of us wanted to eat more than others! Om nom nom.

 

Happy Valentine’s Day, Blog Friends.

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

I am a Master Corrector or a Grammar Nazi. One of those. Except When it Comes to ME.

This post was sponsored by the fine folks at Grammarly. They may have compensated me to write this post, but I also paid for the program, because I’m a believer in their services. And sometimes I make mistakes.

I use Grammarly for proofreading because I like affirmation of my perfection. 

I am a Grammar Nazi. It’s kind of a problem.

Grammar nazi

Ever since I was a little girl, I found myself correcting the grammar of just about anyone who ever used the following words/phrases:

Ain’t

Don’t want no

Apparently, this was incredibly embarrassing for my mom. Because even though she’s the REASON I was all, “Ain’t isn’t a word!” and yelling at adults, she wasn’t a fan of it. I was a master corrector. At age 3. I hated when anyone would tell stories about me, because they’d always tell them wrong. And I would correct that too.

Baby Chrissy Swimming

Would you argue with that face?

So it’s no surprise that I picked up writing in Grade 1. I mean, go read the first poem I ever wrote if you don’t believe me. (I really did post my first poem. Because I was adorable. And yes, there are grammar errors. We didn’t all START out perfect. GEEZ.)

Actually, it’s true. My grammar wasn’t always exceptional. It wasn’t until I started my master’s degree program (English teaching) and when I taught reading comprehension with math and writing application that I really improved my writing style.

Now, you’ll find me in Skype, teamed up with several English and journalism majors, as we fight the war on grammar, one Skyping co-worker at a time.

It drives them crazy.

Especially when we self-correct our own errors. Hey, everyone makes mistakes!

But I too make my own grammar faux pas. On purpose. Because I love them.

My favorite grammar no-no’s

  • I LOVE to overuse ellipsis…LOVE it…a lot.
  • Passive voice is loved by me.
  • Short, incomplete sentences. Yes.
  • I’m a big fan of the Oxford comma, commas in general, and way. Too. Many. Periods.

 

Do you have grammar errors that you make on purpose, for style? Grammar Nazi tendencies?

This post is sponsored by Grammarly. Because I love them. Fact.

 

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

The 4 People on the Train That I Didn’t Miss While Working From Home

The Friday before Christmas was my last day in the office. I worked from home for 5 days (Christmas and New Year’s Day were holidays and I took Christmas Eve off). I resumed the daily commute yesterday morning in blizzard conditions.

Figures.

As I was riding the train though, I realized that there are people that I vehemently despise. People that, whatever they do, irk the shit out of me.

In no particular order, here’s to them:

Chatty Kathys

This woman is nice enough…but damn can she talk. Whether she’s on the phone from 7:42 am until 8:09 am or chatting it up with someone who is trying to walk away, she does. not. shut. up. I don’t know where she gets the energy, but even I can’t handle it that early in the morning. I just want to read my Nook or troll through Facebook. Quietly.

Suburban Tourists

When I say suburban tourists, I mean tourists who live in suburbia and only take the train for special occasions. Whether they’re riding in on my morning commute or following me home, they never cease to piss me the fuck off. They talk on the quiet car. They’re loud. They’re rude. They never have their tickets ready. They don’t even understand why they’re being charged an extra $2 for not buying their ticket at the station. Jerks.

Headphone Abusers

These people are also found in the elevator and other close-quarter locations where you can hear their music, audiobook or phone conversation perfectly clear. So perfectly clear that you may as well be a part of the damn conversation. I don’t care that Cheryl’s boyfriend is in jail. I don’t want to listen to the latest romance novel. I don’t want to jam out to your country or rap…and I don’t expect you to enjoy my 90’s party pop or to want to hear about my most recent run in with the ground. Let’s turn the volume down, eh?

Smelly People

This can go either way. Sometimes these are the people who don’t shower or they sit next to you with bad breath…and start talking. OR they’ve DOUSED themselves in some type of perfume that they think smells wonderful…and really they’re giving me a headache. Here’s a tip: Don’t spritz on the scents right before you get on the train. Wait until you’re not surrounded by people in a tiny space.  And shower. Please. Please. Please. Shower.

I am well aware of the fact that I have my own set of pitfalls that do not fall on this list. I’m sure I piss people off too. What are some of your pet peeves when it comes to your daily commute? If you don’t commute, what are some pet peeves in your daily existence?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Merry Christmas to All and to All a Good Night! Also, the Best Secret Santa Stuff on the Planet.

Merry Christmas Blog Friends!

I hope that Santa brought you everything you hoped for this year. Santa (AKA me) wrapped up extra just in case presents for me (AKA myself) because they were awesome and inexpensive…and I unwrapped those this morning along with delightful gifts from my wonderful boyfriend. </shmoop>

Brian totally laughed at my heartfelt and humorous attempt at pinning our relationship down with lots of cheese in a personalized book. 

But really, home life Santas and Christmas joy aside, I’m here to tell you about my office Secret Santa project and all the amusement that came from it. In pictures, since it’s a holiday and you’ve got Christmas to enjoy.

My boss’ Secret Santa brought him a Santa PJ Suit, stuffed it with newspaper and set it at his desk. He took it really well.

My Secret Santa was AWESOME. Booze. Chocolate and…a special surprise!

2013-12-20 09.55.23We did a 2-3 present Secret Santa game all week, where surprises randomly showed up when you least expected it. The reveal was to happen at our CEO (Chief Entertainment Officer–that’s me) pot luck team holiday lunch.

Everyone kept telling me who they had and I STILL couldn’t figure out my Secret Santa. And my person couldn’t figure me out at all, even though a few other people thought I was their Santa. But I was stealthy. I had the front desk girl e-mail my recipient each day I had a present for her!

I’m really lucky to have such fun co-workers. And I certainly had a pretty great Secret Santa. And so did my boss. Ho Ho Ho!

What was your favorite part of the holiday season this year?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

The Importance of Learning to Say “No”

I have always been a “yes” girl.

I feel guilty saying, “no.”

I feel guilty saying, “no,” so I say, “yes.” And then I find myself overbooked, overwhelmed and over-anxious. I work a full time job. I work more than 40 hours a week. I commute 10 hours a week. Which means that I’m gone for almost 12 hours a day. 5 days a week.

And then I come home. And I blog. Because I love you guys. I love the community that we’ve built. I love sending you thoughtful messages and chatting with you. I love reading other blogs, and participating in other communities.

But it can get overwhelming.

All of it.

Two weeks ago, I was offered a semi-promotion. One that wouldn’t change my title or my pay just yet, but the opportunity to move up to an official manager would quickly be in my sights. I would have direct reports. I would be responsible for the work of two other very talented people.

And I said, “no.”

I said this, not because I wasn’t ready for the position, but because I wasn’t ready for the additional demands on my personal life. I believe in a solid work-life balance, and I’m still working out the kinks in this one. I don’t want to live to work. I work to live.

Of course, I also feel that I have a lot more professional development to work on as a senior copywriter. I want to remain a mentor to newer team members, but I don’t want to be a manager. I want to be a peer. I want to learn from my peers. I want to build on my knowledge as a writer, and not a manager.

So, I said, “no.”

And it wasn’t the last time I said, “no” in the last few weeks. I also said no to social engagements, when I needed a break. It’s hard to stay home when people want you to join them for fun and laughter, but sometimes you just need to stay in and read an entire trilogy of books. And rearrange your cabinets. And give away all of your storage containers to make room for the ridiculous amount of Pyrex and Pfaltzgraff that you bought on Black Friday. Because that’s just what you do when you need a break.

You find joy and laughter in the things that help you relax. For me, it’s reading and rearranging. What helps you relax? Do you have problems saying, “no” too? Tell me about it, Blog Friends.

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

It’s Friday, I’m in LOVE

OK, it’s everyday I’m in love…with cheese. I mean Brian. I mean…both.

Details aside. It’s FRIDAY. FINALLY.

Why am I more excited that it’s Friday today instead of other Fridays?

My BOSS has been galavanting in Europe for almost 2 weeks. As the girl who was recently promoted to “second in command” guess who had to pretend to be him for almost 2 weeks?

Yeah. That. So I’ve been busy freaking out all over the place. Because he does a lot of things that I didn’t really realize he did. And now I see why he mutters curse words under his breath a lot.

BUT today…TODAY…TODAY! is the last day before his return. I’ll be celebrating by bringing in cheese for my co-workers. Because that’s what I do.

So I’m off to cut the cheese (stop that. Stop thinking that right now. Okay, go ahead and laugh.)

Sloth FridaySaw that…and then I needed to post a sloth for you.

sloth and flowers

Have a GREAT Friday!

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

I Got Bullied by the Intern

OK, so my plan has always been to keep my workplace shenanegins off the blog. You know, separate church and state.

Except that I just can’t keep the humor of the best job I’ve ever had away from you guys. Because you’re missing out and only getting the scraps of my life. And that’s not fair to you. Especially to those of you who braved two rounds of unemployment with me over the last year and a half.

Because my co-workers say things like: “I can’t get to hotlegsusa.com. What kind of workplace is this? I just want to look up pantyhose!”

Without further ado, welcome to my workplace.

I work at a pretty huge company. In one of their boutique satellite offices in the city. I am a part of a small, but growing team and this summer we have the pleasure of hosting an adorable intern. It’s like in college when you hosted a scooter (wow, never wrote about that…give me time friends. A scooter is a high school senior that spends a weekend in the dorms and you “scoot” them around and get them to do fun things) only with less peer pressure. Well sort of.

Although I think it’s supposed to be the other way around. You see, this morning, I purchased a pair of these:

wheelie sneaks

Shoes. For grown ups. With wheels. (Source: 6PM)

And it’s ALL BECAUSE OF THE INTERN.

We were talking about shoes with lights and wheelie sneaks and I found these shoes on sale. And the intern was all, “Monday morning. You better be rolling in on those babies.” And I told her, “It’s going to hurt…” And she said, “I feel like this is going to be some high quality entertainment. Mostly because you’re probably going to fall…and I want to be there…to catch you, of course.”

And with that logic, I couldn’t say no. Because you guys love a good falling story, you sick little sadists, you.

Brian’s response (he doesn’t know I have already bought them yet…): “That just… seems like a bad idea for you…”

So…Blog Friends. I’m taking bets. What do you think will happen when I roll through the city on my new wheelie kicks?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!