Let Me Tell You a Little Something About Beer and Working at a Bar

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Happy Monday, Blog friends!

OK. I revoke my statement. I’m exhausted. And you probably are too. Weekends just sort of…take it out of us, don’t they? Especially when it feels like you’re trying to cram a week’s worth of life into 2 days. BUT…I had a great weekend. I hope you did too.

One of my many adventures this weekend was a pub crawl with a couple of my cousins. 4 bars. 4 bars that progressively got a little trashier, and I felt like we were in a college town (which we weren’t). The first bar was pretty nice. A tiny Irish pub with decent food and cold beer. But, being tiny, it got crowded. Fast.

So our plan was to stay one step ahead of the bar crawl. Which worked out mostly well. As the rest of the people showed up, we got our stamps and moseyed on out of there…on to the next bar… Except we had problems at every. Single. Bar. And not like normal problems.

The first bar was the most normal of issues…we ordered food and it took almost an hour for fried cheese curds, a reuben, and a BLT. And they ran out of the cider Brian and I were drinking.

The second bar…Oh the second bar. After enjoying a couple of 20oz Guinness’ at the first bar, my cousin wanted a smaller size glass of Guinness, so he ordered a small Guinness. I asked what they had on draft and she made it seem like the list went on forever. Then I asked if there was a beer list…Nope. I wanted something dark and devious, so I asked our waitress what she had that was dark. Her first suggestion was ciders. *cringe* OK. No. How about a porter? Just…bring me a porter. So she comes back to the table with a “Baby Guinness” shot for my cousin (Kahlua and Bailey’s) and Newcastle Brown for me. I’m sorry. What?

A Twitter response summed it up pretty succinctly…

Brown Ale is not PorterSo on top of our flighty, bitchy (and soon to be non-existent) waitress, the Heineken girls were wandering the patio in the most ridiculous dresses on the planet. I had to say this because. Gross. Tight white dresses that barely cover women’s asses just don’t do it for me. Especially when you can see every crevice and every line. I Googled it and apparently there are much better costumes out there for these sample girls…even the same dress in black looked better. The white was just…Gross. Guys, does that really do it for you? Seriously.

Obviously, we moved on.

So the next bar, the waitress was nicer, but she didn’t know what Leinenkugel was. She tried to repeat the name back and said it all wrong. Even though of the 4 tappers behind the bar, there was a Summer Shandy (by Leiny) she had no idea.

At the last bar, they finally had a beer menu posted. They had Adult Rootbeer (OMG, go drink this now) and Left Hand Milk Stout and a slew of other delicious beers. And I knew it because they had a freakin’ menu. They also apparently had pizzas, but weren’t serving them because the bar crawl was bringing food in. And I was starving. And had to wait another hour before the food.

Bar crawl
We managed to keep our spirits

So what did I learn? Bar crawls probably aren’t my favorite pastime. Not since college anyway.

Oh and if you’re going to work in a bar…Know the difference between a brown ale and a porter.

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18 Responses

  1. Considering one of our clients is a major beer company, waitresses not knowing their shit makes me sad.

    I’m still shaking my head.

    The only type of pub crawls that are any fun is where you literally walk in, grab a drink and run out the door to the next bar to see how many bars you can hit in one night. Surprisingly if you’re walking you stay relatively sober until you break down at 3am and get Poutine. Chrissy if you don’t know Poutine, GOOGLE IT. You’d LOVE IT. Especially at 3am.

      1. Awesome! There’s a place in downtown Toronto that ONLY servers Poutine, and is open till 4am. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten there sober and it’s right in the bar/club district. A friend of mine is notorious for suggesting the 3am Poutine of shame. But honestly, it’s the perfect drunk food. There’s fries, gravy and CHEESE CURD. How can that not be awesome?!?!

  2. Adult root beer, you say? I love root beer… I love brewery root beer even more… and now you tell me there’s a kind that can give me the refreshing taste of childhood with the alcohol content of adulthood?! I MUST try this!!!

  3. Beer companies love dumb,good looking girls. They can control them. Not to say all are dumb. Some are normal girls,but very photogenic.
    Remeber the White Sox opener in 2007? We were in the party suite with the Miller girls. Nice girls, could hold a conversation,but not really good looking and bad complections. But in the photos…THEY WERE BEAUTIFUL! Oh yea, and skinny. Skinny counts too.

  4. I recently saw the movie “The World’s End” at a local theater. It’s about a pub crawl done by a bunch of 50 some Brit guys who are supposed to go to ten pubs and have a pint at each. The pub crawl goes very bad and the movie is truly hilarious. I recommend it highly to you and Brian.

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