The Worst Book Club Ever

Remember a few months ago, when I deemed our book club amazing and dubbed us “The Bad Ass Book Club for Nice Girls?”

Well. That’s all gone to shit now.

We’re now officially “The Worst Book Club Ever,” and this is why.

Top 5 Reasons We Are The Worst Book Club Ever

Month meetings – shot to hell

We planned to meet monthly. Since January, we’ve met twice. Our third meeting is tonight. We just keep pushing things off because our schedules are so busy that we can’t make time to sit down and drink wine and eat snacks with each other while discussing a book.

Attendance – we don’t get bonus points for having a full group every time, right?

Our book club members have never all been in the same place at the same time. Ever. Some members showed up for the first meeting. Some for the second. Some members have missed one or two meetings. But one day. One day, we hope to have a full class.

Choosing the book – changing midway through the “month”

We try to rotate who chooses the book (and mind you, we’re only on our third book), and then we keep changing our minds. The book we’re discussing tonight? It’s the third book we’ve chosen. One friend chose the original book. Then she changed the book (but kept the same author). Then we invited someone new to the club and let her choose a different book, pushing the previous book to our next meeting (whenever that happens).

Reading the book – is there a Cliff’s Notes?

No, seriously. Is there a Cliff’s Notes? Because at every meeting (all three of them), there are at least two people who haven’t so much as picked up the book. At all. This week? It’s my turn. I’m not going to lie, I’ve forgotten what we’re even talking about today. Because I’ve been busy reading other books. Because apparently I know 27 billion published authors. I’m working on how I can pimp their work into my book club…

Talking about the book – what’s the point?

By the time we actually schedule the meeting, choose the book and forget to read the book, being at the actual book club meeting leaves up ready to talk…about anything but the book. We play catch up with each other, gab, yell really loud and drink – A LOT. Someone usually gets good and toasted (who, me?) and we eat a lot of delicious snacks. We usually spend about 5-10 minutes talking about the book, and I don’t think we’ve all liked a book yet. Some of us liked the first. Some liked the second. Some hated them all. We’re definitely exposing each other to new genres, but that doesn’t mean it changes the way we think about them.

My lady group calls our book club The Worst Book Club Ever for five distinct reasons, but we still succeed as a book club because of these two very important tips.

Of course, any successful book club has to have SOME good things.

Two Reasons our Book Club Succeeds

We like to drink

There is always an open bottle or two of wine…or three or four…sometimes whiskey. Sometimes vodka. Sometimes beer. We love spending quality time not drinking alone.

We like to eat snacks

Those of us who’ve hosted also like to make snacks. It works out well for everyone involved. Tonight, the menu includes: cheese, something with crescent rolls and cream cheese, and pizza (because it’s a Friday night and pizza is fast and dirty on a school day).

So that’s how our book club is working out in a nutshell. The secret to a successful book club is all in consumption. If you’re not consuming the books

Do you have a book club or a monthly group that meets? How well do you manage your groups? Do you have any tips for improving our book club?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

30 Things Before Thirty: Looking Back

I’m. Going. To. Be. 30.

Soon.

I never created a 30 before 30 list. But you know what? I’ve done a lot of cool shit in my almost 30 years.

I was planning on posting this 30 days before my GOLDEN 30th birthday on May 30th, but things don’t always work out the way they are planned and that’s okay.

I’ve decided to write a list of 30 things that would have been on my 30 before 30 list, if I had made one…Of course these are the things that I have obviously already  completed (or will complete) before the big day.

(Side note: I am well aware that somewhere halfway through the list, I switch tenses. Just go with it, because I’m too tired to fix it.)

The Bucket List I Never Knew I Already Mastered

1. Get credit debt free. (OK, this one will be officially completed contingent upon my next paycheck, but still. CREDIT. DEBT. FREE. Like a motherfucking boss.)

2. Fire drill in a skyscraper. Hell yes, bitches. (Okay, it’s a shortie but still anything more than 10 floors is still super tall!) Did you know that when they have a fire drill in a big fancy tall building, they don’t make you practice going ALL THE WAY down the stairs? Me neither. But I do now.

3. Experience the glory of New Orleans. Twice. I’ve been there pre and post Katrina…and it’s still my second favorite city of all the cities I’ve been to. (Chicago is obvi #1.) (And Disney doesn’t count as a city, PEOPLE. It’s a magical land of joy.)

Speaking of Disney…

4. Visit Disney FIVE times. If I had my way, this would double (at least) before I’m 40, but let’s not push our luck.

5. Find a sand dollar on the beach. Or fifty?

Find a Sand Dollar Find a Sand Dollar

6. Travel out of the country. Yep. Katie and I went to London in 2004 (And yes, my passport is about to expire). And it was amazing.

Tower of London

At the Tower of London

7. Get bullied into snuggling a giant albino snake. 

Cuddle a giant albino snake

7. Become a professional writer. Mama always told me that I should write, because that is where my true talent lies. I’ll never look back. (Well you know what I mean.)

8. Graduate from college. You guys, I was the first person in my familial line to go to college and graduate from a 4 year university. A first generation college graduate. How cool is that?

9. Meet Jenny Lawson. It was totally awesome to meet an author that I admire…even if I did make an ass of myself.

10. See Stonehenge. I’m not going to lie, guys…It was just a pile of rocks. I was hung over and it was just. a pile. of rocks.

Stonehenge is just a pile of rocks.11. Eat the most ridiculous animal meat that you can. A shortened list of the exotic and strange animals that I’ve eaten include: Kangaroo (yum!), Rattlesnake (meh), Raccoon (tastes like it eats my garbage), Antelope (delicious!), and possibly lion (I prefer vegetarian animals, I think.)

12. Take a train across the country. Sort of. We traveled from Chicago to Denver and it was not as awesome as one would think. Of course, we weren’t in a sleeper car either, so that may have made it less awesome.

13. Make a cameo on national television. Twice. In 2008, I went to a Sox game in scout seating, thanks to one of my dear friends. I was wasted and prancing around behind home plate like an asshole. I even made a point to yell over to Ozzie just to say hi. He waved back, but didn’t look happy. He probably didn’t remember meeting me when I was 8.

14. Hold the position of president in an organization. Guys, this is hard work. They told me it would be the best year of my life and the worst…Add in student teaching and that was the hardest year of my life.

15. Be recognized and awarded on a national level. The same organization that I was president of was also the organization that I was named a National Outstanding Vice President for the prior year. It was kind of amazing.

16. Change careers. As tough as this may be, the experience alone is worth it. I never thought that I could be where I am right now, and I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.

17.Become a godmother. The day my godson was born, was one of the happiest days ever. Having the honor of being his godmother, though? Joy forever. I truly have the best godson in the world.

18. Fall in love.

19. Have my heart broken.

20. Found Brian.

21. Get a tattoo.

Irish Twin Tattoos

The Irish Claddagh symbolizes friendship, loyalty, and love. Cupla is Gaelic for twins.

22. Received a Christmas card from out of the country! Thanks to my Canadian pal, Ash!

23. Hit over 1,000 Facebook Likes on my page!

24. I got to see wild dolphins.

25. Went to Westminster Abbey. Drunk.

26. Met a blogger in real life. (Lauren Filing Jointly is AMAZING.)

27. Took a grown up trip to Disney World. I can put Disney on my completed bucket list twice. Hell I could do it three times if I wanted to.

28. Went dancing at Disney World with the best boyfriend in the whole world after the most amazing meal of my life. See. I told you I could do it.

29. Went to the midnight showings and book releases of the last two Harry Potter books/three movies I didn’t really get crazy into them until those last few were coming out. Then I was obsessed.

30. Write a consistent blog for a year. As of May 30, friends…this one is done too! I never could have imagined then where this blog would be now. It’s because of you that I am still here. Thank you.

What’s on your I-already-did-that Bucket List, Blog Friends? What’s on your To-do Bucket List?

 

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!