Just because Halloween is over doesn’t mean I have to stop talking about skeletons…
But this is different.
Because the skeleton in question is MY skeleton. And what a sweet skeletal structure I seem to have. Here, I’ll start off by showing you:
See? Look at that bone structure. Those cheek bones. That impeccable posture. I have a model skeleton if I ever saw one. And I did. Because I Googled to see if I could find out what’s wrong with my by looking at my X-ray. No luck on that front, but I did discover that my skeleton is better than the ones on Google.
I’m not trying to be conceited…what with my model-esque skeleton and all…I can’t help it. I’m obsessed. Not only do I look significantly skinnier (Because really you’re looking at mah bones and not the squish around them), but also I. Am. A mother fuckin’ skeleton y’all.
And I’m trying desperately to make light of the fact that I have a skeletal picture of myself…and it cost a lot of money. So when they offered me a CD with the results of my CT scan, I said “Hell yes.” Which probably cost me more money. But whatever.
So here’s hoping that there is something easily remedied stuck up in my throat. Because I’m tired of feeling like I’m crazy. Or whiney. And until then, I’m just going to make the most out of the situation. By internetting my skeleton. Because it’s fucking awesome.
Also, I promise that my skeleton will not be on our Christmas card, but we’ve got some pretty sweet ideas in the works…Plotting like little twisted elves over here in the DG. So if you want to receive a Christmas card, e-mail me your address and you’ll receive one fantastic and memorable card this season.