A decade ago

I started 2010 with my favorite people in all the world: my family. We played Wii and ate snacks, and my godson spent the night at my house so he could keep playing video games for a few more hours. He fell asleep to The Doctor Seuss Sleep Book sometime around 3 am, just before all hell broke loose.

Drama ensued with a friend’s ex-boyfriend banging on my parents door while a toddler slept on a blanket bed on my floor.

You might say that the decade began with me realizing the things I wanted in my life and seeing clearly the things I didn’t want.

January 3, 2010 brought a trio of bad January 3rds. In 2010, I lost my boyfriend (got dumped). In 2011, I lost my car. And in 2012, I lost my job. I stopped paying attention to dates after that.

2010 was my experimental year. It was the year I said yes to a lot of different things. I tried on boys and friends and jobs like they were DKNY dresses.

“You know it’s not your style, but it’s right there, so you try it on anyway.” -Carrie Baradshaw

I was still obsessed with Carrie Bradshaw, not yet aware that the character was toxic and self-destructive. Not quite realizing that I, too, was a little on the self-destructive side.

I chased boys instead of dreams. I spread drama instead of joy. I let others dictate who I was instead of shouting from the rooftops that I was the only me there would ever be.

2010 Chrissy and her baby brother

And then on December 15, 2010, I met someone who would become the catalyst that helped me uncover and fall in love with my true self. He didn’t change me. He wasn’t the reason for my transformation. But he did light a fire inside me. A fire that longed to know who I am and what I wanted. A fire that gave me permission to change my mind and build on the dreams I’ve always had with the dreams I create for tomorrow. I am a dreamer, and I will never stop dreaming.

I’ve spent nearly a decade with Brian, and time seems to both fly and last forever – each in the best possible way.

So thanks, 2010s. I still don’t know how to refer to you (the tens? The teens? The 2010s?), but I do know you made me a better, stronger me. You helped me get back to my roots and chase the dreams I’ve long been afraid to chase.

And for the record, I’m still glad I was a boy chaser in the 2000s/aughts/whatever, because we all know I had to chase Brian to the end of a Myers-Briggs test before he finally asked me out.

Happy new year friends! Hope the decade is full of joy and laughter!I know mine was full of joy and laughter…and sadness too.

Here’s a “quick” decade in review after that first year of the teens:

  • 2011: Got a new car
  • 2011: Snowmaggedon
  • 2011: Started dating Brian
  • 2011: Quit the restaurant/bar business forever
  • 2011: Decided I didn’t want to be a teacher
  • 2011:Got my first job in marketing
  • 2012: I was laid off from a job for the first time ever
  • 2012: Brian and I took our first vacation together
  • 2012: I started this blog
  • 2012: I made friends all over the internet
  • 2012: Brian’s mom got sick
  • 2012: I went back to Disney World (and dragged Brian) for the first time in over a decade
  • 2012: Brian and I moved into our first apartment
  • 2013: I started a new marketing job in the city working for Sears
  • 2013: We lost Brian’s mom because cancer is the worst
  • 2013: I started making money on this little blog
  • 2013: Our apartment tried to kill me (and I learned I am highly affected by mold and doctors are the worst)
  • 2014: We moved out of death apartment and temporarily into Brian’s childhood home
  • 2014: We bought a house
  • 2015: I left my job at Sears and started a new gig as a content editor
  • 2015: I lost another car
  • 2015: We got engaged
  • 2016: I attended my first Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop and realized I was, in fact, a feminist
  • 2016: Brian and I were married on a beautiful Friday afternoon in September in a sea of pink and teal
  • 2016: We went to Europe (France, Belgium, and Disneyland Paris)
  • 2016: The world changed a lot with a single election.
  • 2017: I left my job and started chasing all the dreams
  • 2017: Went to Disney World with my family for the first time in 20 years for mom’s 60th birthday
  • 2018: I attended the Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop and was inspired to take my first class at The Second City
  • 2018: We adopted our puppy, Lady Nymeria Stark (Nia) and filled our house with joy (and barking)
  • 2018: I had my first several improv performances at The Second City and improved my writing tenfold
  • 2018: I became a WDW annual passholder
  • 2019: I finished the Improv A-E program at The Second City
  • 2019: Brian and I traveled to Ireland and visited the places his parents hailed from.
  • 2019: I auditioned for and got into The Second City music improv program
  • 2019: I started taking classes at Westside Improv
Nearly 2020 Chrissy. Bring. It. On.

Tonight, Brian and I will ring in the next decade together. One of the firsts we haven’t yet shared with each other. We’ll be among friends with a roaring twenties theme and bottles of bubbles.

And I’ll leave you with my hope for your new year. I wish you the best of the next decade and hope that you chase your dreams and live them out. May magic find you every day and may joy fill your hearts.

Happy New Year, friends. Joy and laughter always.

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

New Year’s Resolutions…You’re Doing Them Wrong

Show of hands, Blog Friends…

Who’s making a New Year’s Resolution this year? I’ll bet it’s related to weight, money, happiness, or education…amiright?

New Year's Resolutions

Fuck that shit, you guys. Everyone makes THOSE resolutions. It’s time to get serious about your life. Do some hard thinking and really plan out the year that you want. Lucky for you, I’ve come up with the perfect system for resolution making. It’s seriously flawless. I’ve taken the liberty of breaking down the ultimate resolution checklist by month to make it easy for you to achieve your goals. You’re welcome in advance.

January Goals

Do fucking nothing. You’ve spent the last 2-8 weeks preparing for the holidays, whether you celebrate Christmas, New Year’s, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Solstice or whatever…and before that, there was that whole Thanksgiving feast thing to worry about. Slow the fuck down, young padawan. January is a month of rest – not a month of fixing your life. You’ve survived the last however many weeks, months or years without hitting up the gym…I’ll bet your body can do another 4 weeks while you cuddle in front of the TV doing absolutely nothing.

February Goals

Get the fuck out of town. If you’re in a cold-weather climate, you’re probably cold, tired and depressed because you haven’t seen the sun in weeks. Even if you’re just hitting up a local indoor water park for the weekend, buck up and get away. Even if it’s not cold, go somewhere different. Use the time away to think and unwind. You’ll be revitalized to really get moving on these resolutions you’re about to start.

Marco Island Florida

Valentine’s Day

  • If you’re single, ACTUALLY ignore Valentine’s Day. Don’t say you’re ignoring it and then go out with all your girlfriends to celebrate you. Go to work. Eat a regular candy bar and not 27 mini candy bars in your favorite game of heart-shaped chocolate roulette. Eat your regular frozen dinner and skip the bottle of wine tonight. Spend a few hours playing Candy Crush or whatever it is you do when you’re not doing anything important. It’s just another day.
  • If you’re in a relationship, go ahead and do something on Valentine’s Day. Even if you could give two shits about that “silly Hallmark holiday,” you’ve got a honey to hug, so hug them.

March Goals

Drink more. It’s still cold. And gray. And snowy. Or rainy. And the days are still pretty short. So go ahead and enjoy a bottle or two of wine. Your waistline won’t mind…Plus it’s good for your heart (I AM NOT A DOCTOR. I’M A MASTER OF BULLSHIT. DO NOT LISTEN TO MEDICAL ADVICE THAT I PRETEND TO GIVE.)

April Goals

Go outside, lazy. The weather is finally picking up. It doesn’t matter if you’re just dining al fresco in 65 degree weather…get your ass outside. You’ve been cooped up inside eating and drinking for 3-5 months. You could use a little Vitamin D.

Spring Tulips on State Street

Plan for something amazing. It’s now time to start thinking of a summer getaway. If your local weather gets sweltering, head north for a cool, breezy summer vacay. Or head somewhere even warmer. Or plan a getaway to meet up with a bunch of people on the internet that you’ve never met before (or that you meet every summer just like summer camp only better). Do  what you want, yo. It’s your vacay.

May Goals

Wish me happy birthday, bitches. As I was born in the beautiful month of May, you should plan to stop by and say happy birthday to me. I mean. You know. If you want.

Pick some flowers. Just, you know…don’t be an asshat and pick flowers from your neighbor’s garden. Go to a field or park where you are allowed to pick flowers. Or try your own backyard. Dandelions and other “weeds” totally count. But not that kind of weed. It’s like you’re not even listening to me. Sheesh.

June Goals

Overuse your grill. If you don’t have a grill, you’re doing it wrong. Stop cooking inside. Your home will stay cooler, and your food will taste better. If you don’t believe that everything tastes better on the grill, you’re wrong. And that’s that.

July Goals

Drink a cold one (or twelve). It’s summer, and what’s summer without a frosty beer? Try something new, this time though…No more of that Miller Lite bullshit. Journey outside your boundaries of piss water, and drink a crafty craft beer.

I love this beer.

I love this beer.

Cash in on those vacation plans. Whether you’re heading to a small local getaway like the Wisconsin Dells, a nearby beach, or a local lakeside escape, go enjoy a weekend or week of summer. You’ve been working hard on your resolutions; you deserve it.

August Goals

Plan out your Halloween costume. For real this time. Don’t SAY you’re going to have a plan and then forget until October 25, when you’re forced to tease the fuck out of your hair, thrown makeup all over your face and pretend to be a crazy lady.

Halloween teased hair

 

September Goals

Get your Christmas shopping done. Imagine you. In December. Without a fucking shopping care in the world. You don’t have to worry about who’s got free shipping. You won’t have to step foot in a mall from November through January. Pat yourself on the back this year and get that shit over with early.

October Goals

Go ALL out for Halloween. I’m talking costumes. Decorations. Treat bags for the kids. Get wild and have fun. You know you’ve always wanted to.

Eat your favorite candy. It’s okay. You didn’t make a goal to lose weight this year. You’re following the resolutions that will allow you to have more fun this year. So go ahead. Buy that bag of Almond Joys. I won’t tell.

November Goals

Celebrate Thanksgiving, and DON’T call Thanksgiving or a dinner with friends, “friendsgiving.” Thanks in advance for limiting the hipster buzzwords from spreading like gonorrhea.

Avoid getting suckered into Black Friday. God created the internet for a reason. You can do all your sale shopping from the comfort of your home…while you’re still in your underwear. Or naked. Just…you know…avoid taking selfies.

December Goals

Plan for next year. Don’t wait for me to tell you what to do. Make your own list this time. Maybe you can give me a few pointers, because I’ll surely tap out halfway through December in stress mode.

Eat, drink, and be merry. Seriously. You only live once. Enjoy it.

Happy New Year, guys! What goals would you add to this list?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!