As promised, I went back to the gym — And met the devil in plastic

A short while back, I mentioned something about needing to go to the gym so I could continue to indulge in comfort foods. And thus began my journey down the rabbit hole of having a personal trainer.

Brian and I have had a gym membership for over a year. But we’ve gone maybe 5 times. Maybe.

I needed some serious motivation to get back to the gym and I was SERIOUSLY missing the awesome group training sessions I had when I went to this amazing gym back in Aurora (which is much too far away to maintain a membership). Also Brian is determined to keep up with this gym thing (look at us becoming gym rats!) going…so he convinced me that the trainer was the way to go.

OK. Fine.

So, on Day 1: The Assessment, this chick (the trainer) turns out to be super nice (I mean, despite the making me sweat thing) and an English major to boot. Good choice, Gym Manager Guy. Good choice.

She worked me a little hard to see my level of strength, but nothing terrible. Except for the Godawful Bosu.

Bosu Balance Ball

The Bosu Balance Ball*: The Devil in Plastic.

I had informed Trainer about my bad knee, ankles, and wrists…basically that I can’t do a whole lot of anything on them. Or risk serious pain. Push-ups? Planks? No thank you.

So she decides that it’s a good idea to put me on this half ball thing, which only makes shit harder…

Resting my elbows on the Devil in Plastic, she had me hold a plank position (that means a push-up position with a flat back) for…AS LONG AS I COULD.

Which turned out to be 15 whole seconds.

She let me rest. And then she made me DO IT AGAIN.

This time, though, she told me to go to my happy place. And I started smiling. And thinking. And internally giggling. And I said to her,

“If I told you I was thinking about cheese, would that be wrong?”

Her response?

“Whatever gets you through.”

30 seconds later, she told me I could rest. Cheese. Doubled. My. Stamina.

A few days later, she brought out that dreaded thing again. And I was ready for it.

Brie, cheddar, swiss, havarti.

Brie, cheddar, swiss, havarti.

Fuck. I can’t focus. I can’t think of other cheeses.

Brie, cheddar, swiss, havarti.


Brie, cheddar, swiss, havarti.

Why can’t I think of other cheeses?!

Why is this so hard!

Brie, cheddar, swiss, havarti.

And rest.

I may not have been able to divert my attention back to cheese but I did 3 reps of 30 seconds each, repeating my mantra inside my head. And if you’re going to have a mantra, it should be things you love right?

Never underestimate the power of cheese.

Do you work out? Do you want to work out? Do you have a gym membership you don’t use?

How do you get through tough workouts?  What’s your secret?

*Some links lead to Amazon and may then lead to Amazon sending a tiny contribution to my cheese budget. I thank you in advance.

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!
That one time I dressed like a Backstreet Boy I Hate Having to Apologize for Being Crazy


  1. You are cute…and funny. Cristina laughed her ass off. She too, knows the Devil in Plastic.

  2. Dude. We always plank on our forearms in pilates, but we lack a plastic devil. Man I hate planking.

  3. hahahahaha…gym? workout? Wassat? Shit…. the last time i committed myself into going to the gym was 15 years ago. *yes- 15*…. *chuckle*

    But, hey… if cheese gets ya through, go for it! 🙂 Have fun planking!

  4. Cha cha cheese!

  5. I just think of my old drill sergeant screaming over me “ok you p***y, get on down and give me 20 more!” That makes it easier 😉

  6. I’ll have to try that cheese motivation. I had some bonne bouche (an amazing kind of goat cheese that seemed more like brie) that you need to try!

  7. I love the gym now, but it wasn’t until the gym helped me lose 80lbs (and keep off for 6 yrs!) that I realized how important it was for me to have a workout routine.

    I love the bosu ball! When I was in better shape a few years ago, I would flip it on the soft side and stand on the flat surface to do squats. Alas, I think it’ll be awhile before I can go back to those days.

  8. I hope you had a Gouda time 😉

  9. I kinda love the Bosu Ball myself. I totally want one of those Bosu Ball chairs for my desk at home but they’re pretty expensive.

  10. I am going to do stairs and think about cheese. Maybe it will help me stay motivated too. If that doesn’t work I am trying chocolate.

    I keep thinking I should join a gym…again.

  11. I read Beyond the Break on the treadmill.

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