I Get to be a Brand Ambassador AND Talk About my Ass at the Same Time!

Good morning blog friends! Today marks the day that I begin a new adventure. An adventure all about butt-wiping.

NO. I am most certainly NOT pregnant. (GOSH!)

I’m a brand ambassador for Cottonelle. I’ll be working with the fine people who bring you joyful bum-paradise. Even after the worst poops.

I don’t know if I mentioned it, but the gluten free trial? Was because I occasionally (read: frequently) have digestive…issues. You name the issue, I’ve probably had it. I’ll spare you the details.

Unfortunately, gluten-free wasn’t for me (more on that later). But Cottonelle FreshCare Wipes DEFINITELY are. So when I found out they were running a campaign to “talk about bums,” I begged, borrowed, cheated and stole my way in. Or I asked nicely (and told them that I was awesome. And that I was really good at talking about poop. And butts. And wiping.) One of those.

So here I am, a fancy pants brand ambassador for a company that I stand behind 100%. Because anyone that makes wiping my ass easier is my kind of company.

I wipe my own ass

As one of 35 Humorists for Cottonelle, I’ll be sharing some fun toilet-humor posts about my bum and encouraging you to laugh along with me. You can get excited about this fun campaign too! And you don’t even have to leave the comfort of your own toilet home. Just keep tabs on the hashtag #LetsTalkBums and you’ll see all the fun posts from my campaign-mates.

I’ve included a brief video from documentarian Cherry Healy, so you can see what’s up.

And let’s be real here, guys…

Talking about wiping your ass sounds so much better with a British accent.

As a brand ambassador, I will be compensated for my association with Cottonelle. All opinions are most certainly my own, and no one’s paying me to say nice things. I only work with companies that I like in real life. I’m stating all of this as per FTC rules and such. Go figure.

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!
Let Me Tell You a Little Something About Beer and Working at a Bar We Remember


  1. Hmmm, while looking at “bum” on Wikipedia there was a redirection to a quite well written wiki article on “buttocks” which might help you in your research as a spokesperson. It features a nice picture of the “typical female bum” and a meh picture of the “male bum”. This got me to wondering why “bums” are supposed to be lazy slackers and why we say “he got a bum deal”. 😉

  2. If that doesn’t make people want to buy Cottonelle I don’t know what will. I know I am laughing myself all the way to the store!

  3. Cottonelle, for all of the discerning bottoms out there.

  4. I LOVE the “I wipe my own Ass” photo! Great Post!

  5. Can you buy their products at Walmart? Probably. Maybe they should give free sample packs at the front of stores.

  6. This is like the perfect brand association for you. I hope Cottonelle knows what a poop enthusiast they’ve booked!

Speak Your Mind


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.