Even the Pink Fucking Monkey Gets a Vote

Yesterday was Election Day. We has a pretty big race here in Illinois, and I don’t even want to talk about it.

Instead, I’ll talk about the very serious vote in our house (holy crap, I can say house) last night.

So Brian has picked up this strange habit of not putting the toilet seat down. Which would be less strange if he had been doing it as long as I’ve known him. But it’s a recent development.

Obviously, this new development isn’t on my list of favorites, OCD tendencies and all…so I brought it up to him. I was in bed, and he was standing up. Our bed still isn’t on a frame, so it’s pretty low to the ground, too. It felt like I was a foot tall and he was a giant beast (in, like, not a bad way).

His response? “Maybe, that’s how it’s supposed to be.”

“No.”

“Okay…let’s vote! Everyone who thinks the toilet seat should stay up, raise your hands!” He raised both hands high towards the ceiling.

Then, I said, “All in favor of the toilet seat staying down, raise your hands.” I raised both of my hands.

He decided he needed another vote, he looked around the room, and then he grabbed The Octopod, raising all eight of his tentacles.

The Octopod

The Octopod was the only stuffed creature that Brian brought to our relationship.

I told him The Octopod does NOT count, or so help me, I would get out of bed and every other stuffed animal and doll would be on Team Seat Down.

“You wouldn’t be able to hold all their hands up!”

“Oh yes I would. Rufus. Samantha. Teddy. Staley. Kermit. Even the Pink Fucking Monkey.”

Stuffed animals

Some of the stuffed creatures. Okay, so I got Kermit for Brian for Christmas one year (he named his car Kermit after completely disregarding my option to name him Charlie)

Rufus

Rufus the dog was Brian’s Valentine’s Day gift to me a few years ago…he said, “I got you a dog.” Last night, I said, “My dog’s got votes.”

“That’s his name? Not the fucking pink monkey? The Pink Fucking Monkey? Really?”

“Yep. I mean. He didn’t have a name…but now he does.”

And that, my friends, is how I won the toilet seat debate.

Do you have a toilet seat struggle in your home? How do you solve debates? What are your thoughts on the whole toilet seat thing?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Rocking the Vote and (MOSTLY) a Shameless Plug

So today is Rock the Vote Day here in Illinois. It’s the primaries, and we all know how I feel about rocking the vote. So I’ll be heading to my polling place after work today, because I think the primaries are important too.

Of course, I couldn’t let the rock the vote opportunity just fade away when you, too, can rock a vote.

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On that note, blog friends…I have to tell you something RIDICULOUSLY exciting…I haven’t mentioned it yet, and I feel kinda like a jerk for not telling you, because it’s a result of your awesomeness…

I’m a finalist in not one, not two, but THREE categories in The 2014 Weblog Awards. Best Writing, Most Humorous, and Weblog of the Year.

Last year, I was a finalist in Best Writing of a Weblog. And THE BLOGGESS offered to share her invisible trophy with me.

TheBloggess (TheBloggess) on Twitter 2013-05-22 22-54-19

I would LOVE for you to go and take a second to vote for me in the 2014 Bloggies. Several of my blogging besties have also been nominated, so if you would like to help them out with a vote, I know they’d appreciate it too!

Voting ends this weekend, so vote early, vote often!

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!