I Hate Scattergories

So I’m not allowed to talk about the recent ridiculously loud cackling game of Scattergories with the ladies of the fam. I’m also not allowed to post the video feed that I managed to not-so-subtly acquire, subtly. But no one said I’m not allowed to talk about how much I hate Scattergories.

I hate scattergories

Not that I don’t have a tendency to eviscerate the competition. Not that I’m not good at the game. Not that I don’t enjoy the competition. But I’m a word snob. And dammit, “Kansas Jayhawks” are athletes. And I’m a game snob. And I prefer strategy.

Sometimes, I wonder why I even own Scattergories…But then I see the crayon marking stating the cost $1.50…and I remember why. Even at the young age of 16, I was collecting board games from Salvation Army. I collected them, but I was a Polack about it.

I always wanted to play different party games. Games that I had played with friends and thought were the bomb diggity. (Yes. I said bomb diggity. And I’m proud of it.) Games like Curses, in which people have to act out different scenarios while under a  number of “curses” like speaking with a lisp in an Irish accent with your wrists glued to each other (fake glued–not for real). Games like Cranium. Games like Apples to Apples.

Then I met Brian. And got into serious gaming. Munchkin. Arkham Horror. Settlers of Catan. This list goes on and on. For some reason, Scattergories just doesn’t seem as fun as racing against the clock to beat Cthulhu’s beasts…maybe that’s just me.

Of course, Scattergories is definitely still vicious. People arguing and fighting over whether something actually counts. It’s silly. For the record, hummus is not a dairy product, but Hershey’s chocolate milk definitely is. Hungriest man is most likely not a world record, and no one carries a hockey puck in their purse or wallet.

Also… cunt is spelled with a C…not a K.

And you thought your night was entertaining.

 

 

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