Santa Shops at Sam’s Club

I mean, I’m not surprised, really. With less than 50 shopping days left until one of my favorite holidays on the planet, Santa’s probably already working his butt off. I vaguely remember seeing presents that looked as if they came from Sam’s Club once or twice in my Christmas morning experience…

Or Santa’s a procrastinator like me. And he and Mrs. Clause were just doing their stock-up shopping for the winter rush when things get too busy up at the North Pole. I forgot to ask.

Brian and I joined Sam’s Club a few weeks ago. We thought it was the responsible, grown-up thing to do, being new homeowners and all. (Before you get your panties in a twist about the Costco vs. Sam’s Club thing, we got a Living Social deal for Sammy’s. And with all the bonuses and shit, it was practically free.) Also, some friends of ours had these caramel cheetos-like snacks from Sam’s that were SO good. I wanted them.

 

Caramel cheetos…thanks @annamstroh

A photo posted by Quirky Chrissy (@quirkychrissy) on


So anyways, we’ve made it a weekly routine to hit up Sam’s on Sundays for free sample lunch (you know you do it too) and a few Sam’s Club type purchases. Bulk tortilla chips. Bulk tasty cheese. You know, the important stuff.

As I was browsing the berry selection, I looked up and saw him. He was right there, ready to make my Christmas wishes come true. And just like that, he was gone again. I looked around, and he had disappeared. I told Brian, “I saw Santa!”

He didn’t believe me.

A few minutes later, I saw Santa adding a few sweets to the cart that Mrs. Clause was protecting so carefully. She teased him about the cookies, but they headed toward the milk…and I chuckled.

I thought back to the last time I encountered Santa Clause prior to Thanksgiving. I was working at a bar (that’s a really good story, by the way…I recommend it to anyone who’s ever worked in the service industry. Don’t worry, I’ll still be here when you return), and I stopped into Caribou Coffee for a quick pick me up. Santa was there, handing out candy canes. I took one and thanked him and told him I was really good that year, could he please bring me the love of my life? Okay, maybe I thought that last part about being good and looking for Brian…but a few days later, Brian (whom I had not met at that point) showed up at the pub, so Santa MUST have been listening, right?

So it only seemed right that I saw Santa a few years later (now), when Brian has become a permanent part of my existence.

A few minutes later, I ran into Santa again standing in line for quesadillas. I was building up the courage I needed.

Finally, right in front of the frozen food aisle, I walked up to him and asked, “Can I take your picture?”

He laughed, and his belly shook like a bowl full of jelly. I knew it was him.

It had to be.

He said, “Of course!”

I heard someone in the background mutter, “Well SOMEONE has some Christmas spirit.”

I got ready to snap his pic when Mrs. Clause appeared out of nowhere, “You’re going to be in it, right?”

“Umm…YES!”

I handed my secret phone to Brian and hugged Santa. Mrs. Clause quickly licked her hand and patted down Santa’s cowlick. “There, that’s better!”

I thanked Santa and Mrs. Clause and told them I couldn’t wait until Christmas.

Santa Shops at Sam's Club

And just like that…they were gone.

A woman passing by asked me, “How old do you feel, now?”

“Same age I always feel. Twelve.”

Blog Friends, have you ever had a serious encounter with the red-clad man from the North? Do you still believe?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Dear Santa, All I Want for Christmas… (With Pictures!)

While Tweeting with Pesky Pippi (I know, it’s like we were destined to be friends) last night, I got a brilliant idea. Who needs to hint around the Christmas bush? Here’s my “Dear Santa” list.

Yes, I’m a greedy asshole who made a Christmas list last night. I worked really hard on it, too. So Santa, buddy… I’ll take the following AWESOME items:

  • Munchkin Christmas Edition?! 3 different bonus packs?! Yes. Yes. and Yes. Available for under $10 each on Amazon
  • A Harry Potter Light Switch decal (Because I’m a complete nerd and sometimes I need a little pick-me-up), available from Etsy for only $9.99
  • The Grammar Pack (The low price of $40 for 5 posters of Grammar Nazi joy on The Oatmeal)
  • A holiday cheese dish towel, available from Zazzle for only $17.55 (get it? The Baby Cheeses?!?!?!)
  • A Middle Finger Key (only $8.95 from CoolMaterial)
  • ANYTHING from ThisiswhyImBroke.

Munchkin Christmas Game

Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the lights

 

The Oatmeal Grammar Pack

 

Middle FInger Key Cool Gift ideas

 

Holiday Cheese Dish Towel

Now, while you all think I just made a greedy ass Christmas list (totally under $100 for anyone not in the mood to do math)…I also showed you some really cool websites where you can find crazy unique gifts for the people you love. You know, if you’re into the whole buying people stuff for Christmas or birthdays or something.

I’d like to say that I’m going to make Christmas presents…but the last time I did that, I was up until midnight on Christmas Eve cutting myself with roller blades and tying fleece knots and wrapping presents. No thank you.

Do  I really want these things? Maybe. Do I really need any of these things? No. But if Santa were to wrap them up and put them under the tree or in my stocking, it’s not like I would, you know…complain or anything!

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!