Confession Friday: The Last Minute

Confession: I wait until the last minute to do lots of things, which often works out smashingly for a girl like me, but sometimes…not so much.I guess you could say, I’m a bit of a procrastinator.

So, several weeks ago, I was talking to Katie (Of yesterday’s guest post and Words for Worms Katie) and she said to me, I’m in on a sweet Secret Santa blogger thing. You need to get in on this. And so I looked up Pocketful of Joules, and her fun Fall Swap. I e-mailed her and requested to join the club.

When I received my secret swapper…I was so pumped! I felt honored and excited to get Heather from the B(itch)log. As a Chicagoan(ish) myself, I felt that it was my duty as a blogger and new blogfriend to find Heather the perfect little piece of Chicago (as she is currently residing in California).

As any good Chicago-land native knows, if you’re born here…this will always be your home. If you move here and acclimate into the joy of northern Illinois…this will always be your home. They don’t call it Sweet Home Chicago for nothing. It’s the best.

Bon Jovi Loves Chicago

Me too, Jon; Me too.

So, I decided that dammit, I was going to give Heather a piece of Chicago, come hell or high water. And I searched. And searched. And I realized that sending something from Chicago will give the secret part away immediately. So despite my better judgement, I moved to the online world. I found a lot of “Chicago in the Fall” products…but they were cheesy and uninspiring. Even the “Chicago in the Fall” Apron, after reading that Heather digs aprons…it just wouldn’t do. I’m a perfectionist by nature, and I really wanted to get this right.

So finally, in the home stretch, on the last week of the swap, I was searching the digital world like a maniac. And came across this SWEET poster. Sure, it may not be completely “fall” themed. But shit! It was the coolest thing ever. A World’s Fair Chicago poster dated May-November 1933. And it was everything I was looking for (you know except for the fall theme). But it did say November… November = fall… Truth be told, I totally searched “November Chicago.” I call it a success.

So I had it shipped to Heather without any purchasing info, and the really nice guy even offered to throw in a secret message!

Of course, because it was shipped from a third-party to keep my identity a secret…and I waited so long to send it…it took forever to get to Heather. Joules was worried. Katie asked if I had sent it. and Heather was waiting and waiting and waiting.

Then she got it, and I was worried that she didn’t like it (I worry a lot…an ex used to tell me I was wound tighter than an 8 day clock…douche.) I kept thinking, “Maybe she was hoping for a cute scarecrow or pumpkin or fall snack…”

In the end, I think I did alright… You can read about Heather’s super excited reaction (She loves me more than French toast! MMMmmmm French toast…maybe I’ll make some for breakfast—nah Fritos and queso is more my style) on her blog post about being homesick for Chicago.

In other procrastinator news, I finally get to send my giveaway today to the winner! Lily from It’s a Dome Life… I had to dig through a lot of moving boxes to find my Huck Finn books.

Procrastination is a lot like Masterbation

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

A Bookworm’s Guide to Slackerdom

Mom, you may not want to read this…

Confession Friday: I have a degree in English from an excellent university…but I never once read an entire book for class.

True story.

In the third grade parent-teacher conference, my teacher, Mrs. Jacoby, told my mom that I was lying to her about all of the books that I was reading. Mom knew that I had no life but the one in books, so she got really mad and bitchy. I’m pretty sure that was mom’s last parent-teacher conference. I also think this scarred me for life in regards to school, teachers, and reading books.

I was talking to the Word Worm about blogging–She writes a fantastic bookworm blog–and she mentioned something about Shakespeare (you can read her blog to find out what she said). I, the lover of Shakespeare that I am, told her that I was a fan of reading Shakespeare. I read Romeo and Juliet (which everyone says wasn’t very good, but I loved it) when I was 12. for fun. At home. I’ve read Much Ado About Nothing SEVERAL times. I did attempt to read Twelfth Night several times to no avail, but other than that, I’m kind of a fan. Hamlet, MacBeth, even Julius Caesar…all enjoyable reads for me.

She then questioned my tactics in college…and asked if I ever read a full book for school. In all honesty… not counting a graphic novel called Maus… no. No, I did not.  I had read bits and pieces. Excerpts. Listening to class discussion (when I showed up for class). Talking to my classmates. Sparknotes. Cliffsnotes. Gradesaver.com. Classic Notes. Classic Reader. And when in doubt, I Googled it. And it worked. I never got lower than a B in my English classes. (OK, and to be fair, there were some books and stories that I had already read.) My mad-writing skills got me exactly what I needed: A decent grade and plenty of time to do other things.

As an English major, required literature was something Chrissy considered...optional. She managed to pull off a splendid GPA considering she didn't read one entire book for class.

College and Computers 🙂

I was a very organized slacker…I had a notebook for every class. Each notebook was filled with excellent doodles (as doodling would help my brain calm down so that I could actively listen). Each notebook had a very important front cover. The cover listed the number of excused absences that I was allowed in that particular class, a dated list of missed classes, and the excuses that I used to not go to class. I made sure that I didn’t overuse cramps or migraines (though those pesky headaches happened regularly). There was even a time that I thought I was having a panic attack…that turned out to be the results of a little too much booze the night before…

That being said, you all know that I’m a voracious reader. And if you don’t, you should see my gratuitous post discussing my ridiculous unwavering love for Pride & Prejudice. The obsession is almost disgusting. But whatever. I read. I do. I just don’t read when someone tells me that I must. I saved every book from all of my classes, college and high school (sans Childhood’s End, which, until Fifty Shades of Grey, was my least favorite book in the history of ever.) Then, I spent summers, and even free time during school, reading. Yes, that’s right. I’ve read a good portion of the novels that I should have read for class…long after class ended.

Here’s a list of the best books I never read in college:

Candide (even though I walked into class after reading the Sparknotes version and told the prof that I had, in fact read it and loved it. After actually reading it–it’s pretty awesome)
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (which ironically became my favorite American novel)
Tess of the D’urbervilles (which is really super depressing, but well written and uber Victorian… Stupid 50 Shades of Grey for ruining the association.)
The Canterbury Tales (In my defense, the teacher tried to make us read it in middle English. Do you have any concept of how hard that is?!)

OK, and here’s a list of some of the best books I read in college for no reason but to read:

The Stand
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
Les Miserable
Great Expectations (Actually a reprise from my youth…thanks to those marvelous Great Illustrated Classics)
The Tenth Kingdom (A book based off a cheesy TV mini series on NBC. If you watched it and like it—I think I love you.)

Have a great weekend!

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Mind Games or Mindless Games?

I love stupid mindless games. Maybe they help me think. Or stop thinking for just a little while. Maybe they bring me to a certain focus that regular games can’t… I’m currently addicted to Bejeweled Blitz and this crazy adventure game that I’ve been playing addictively for weeks now…

A few months ago, it was a game called Balloons Tower Defense.

Several years ago, I was sitting at my computer, procrastinating. Word Twist wasn’t really doing it for me. All of my friends were busy doing…their jobs….and I was bored. And then I thought of snood. And visited snood.com. And thus began another circle of the 6th level of hell that is snood.

Still, I blame Penny for this never-ending cycle. In fact, while we’re placing blame, I’m going to go ahead and blame Snood for not graduating from Bradley with honors. Single-handedly ruined my GPA, snood did.  Remember when I couldn’t think of anything to write for George Chambers? And I kept sitting there, playing Snood. And then I wrote him a poem about Snood? I do.

What about the time that a friend of mine tried to hook me up with the guy who looked like they Grey Snood? No matter how drunk I got, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself he really was cute….All I could see was Grey Snood.

And then I deleted snood.

And life was good. Until I found Snood Towers. And re-addicted myself to Snood. Fucking Snood. Then, while working towards my masters degree,  I supposed that because I was back in college, grad school, even….I should have had Snood back up and running. Just plain old original Snood….but there were oh so many more options than just Snood. That guy started running some crazy multimillion dollar organization or something.

There are now a hundred different versions of Snood! I wish I had bought stock in it when I first started. Maybe I wouldn’t be so damn broke. Maybe I wouldn’t waste hours at snood. Maybe I would be able to pay for my masters degree with money from SNOOD!

I am the master of procrastination.

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!