The sexiest man alive

I’ve spent the morning reading about what a bullshit thing it was for People to put Blake Shelton on the cover of People Magazine for Sexiest Man Alive and that people are up in arms about it. Personally, I stopped giving a fuck what People Magazine thought about men when — nope. I’m not even playing. I’ve never cared about the Sexiest Man Alive. If Colin Firth and Jeff Goldblum aren’t on that list, it clearly hasn’t adequately captured the heart of sexy. Ever.

On a Facebook post, I saw someone write, “Are there any good ones left?” And I was like, Duh. My husband.

Move over Blake Shelton. This man has it all.

So I decided I’d start my own Sexiest Man Alive award. And the inaugural recipient is, obviously. Brian. But don’t just let me tell you he’s the sexiest man alive. Here are just a few of the things that make him so dang irresistible.

He’s got a soft spot for watching TV with me

And he’ll even watch some things that many husbands/boyfriends/partners would typically opt out of. Not only is he watching The Handmaid’s Tale with me, but he also watched Gilmore Girls. I’m not saying he binged the entire thing in 3 weeks like I did, but he would sit down and watch an episode here and there. I’m also pretty confident he was Team Logan too.

He feeds me

This is why ladies are not supposed to get sick. The boyfriend was left to his own devices. #GetOuttaMyKitchen

A post shared by Quirky Chrissy (@quirkychrissy) on

Even if he doesn’t know the correct pan to use for boiling hot dogs.

We all know that I’m the cook in this relationship. He sends me gifs of things like ice cream sandwich cakes and Cheetos mozzarella sticks, and then I make them. But sometimes, he’ll throw together one of the things he knows how to prepare and he’ll hand deliver it to me like the sexy AF gentleman that he is.

He’s got a keen fashion sense

And he was ready to go toe to toe with anyone who fought me on my wedding shoes.

He cleans

Brian’s putting our mop and bucket to good use before holiday party time. #BestBoyfriendEver

A post shared by Quirky Chrissy (@quirkychrissy) on

He meets me halfway, even when I’m halfway across the country

I’m pretty sure the only people who lost that contest were the ones in the rooms on either side of mine. Did I mention I was on the executive floor?

He’s a poet and he doesn’t even know it

He takes care of me when I’m sick

He’s smart, funny, and he keeps me on my toes. He’s got science guy and gentleman wrapped up with a bow. You know, now that I think about it…Brian is pretty much an amalgamation of Colin Firth and Jeff Goldblum. He really is the sexiest man on earth. [I really tried to squeeze in a joke about Earth girls being easy, but I just umm…couldn’t…well find a way.]

Move over Blake Shelton. This man has it all.

Move over Blake Shelton. This man has it all.

Really, though, with all of the big-name men being called out for assault, harassment, and more, maybe we should stop putting the people we see in movies and on TV on pedestals. Maybe we should think about how to make the world a better, safer place. And I think a lot of that starts at home. So can we all stop worrying about the guy a bunch of editors at a weekly publication determined was the sexiest man alive and focus on the ones we know in the real world?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

I agree with the Supreme Court…But Not for the Reasons You Think

I’ve been having this massive, internal struggle.

Because…

I agree with the Supreme Court.

Hear me out before you get shouty. I’m not against birth control. I’m pro-choice. In ALL matters. I believe in a PERSON’S right to do what they want pertaining to their lives and bodies, so long as it doesn’t harm others or break laws.

So when Hobby Lobby took their plight to the U.S. Supreme Court, I wasn’t thrilled. But when the Court determined that it was their right to refuse birth control, the liberal world went guns blazing in attack mode. And I started feeling this unyielding urge to agree with the Court’s decision.

I couldn’t figure out why.

I don’t believe that anyone should be denied birth control…and quite frankly, with this decision, no one is being DENIED anything. Employees of a known religiously-motivated company will not have their birth control paid for by the company.

The aforementioned employees are not being told they’ll be tested for use of birth control or fired for using it. The company doesn’t want to pay for it.

Fine.

If you don’t agree? Don’t work there.

But we’re missing the point.

There is a MUCH bigger issue here than birth control or the idea that this is about women’s rights. Because it’s not. Health care in the United States is tied to employment.

TIED TO OUR JOBS.

Pissed-off liberals will tell you that the employers just gained the right to tell employees what they can and can’t do with their bodies.

But you know what?

Employers have had that privilege for YEARS.

I was on birth control for almost 10 years. Never. NOT ONCE was it covered by my insurance. Not even partially.

Currently, I use several medications (unrelated to contraceptives, but related to my well-being and ability to function on a daily basis). Because some of these drugs are available over the counter, I can’t even use my HSA (which is SUPPOSED to cover medication prescribed by a doctor) to purchase them.

ADDITIONALLY, my current employer will only insure my prescription drug purchases as long as I don’t use one of the big four pharmacies in the area. Because they are direct competitors with my company. Did you hear that? Let me repeat it for you. My company is dictating WHERE I can make my prescription purchases.

Because health care is tied to our jobs.

I spent the better part of my twenties uninsured. I didn’t go to the doctor. I didn’t take care of myself with regular checkups because I couldn’t afford it. Was I unemployed the entire time? No. I worked part time jobs, freelanced, waited for grace periods at new jobs.

The Obamacare plan was a step in the right direction, but it was just a step. Babies don’t start walking and run a marathon the next day.

The Supreme Court is right.

Why is the government forcing these mandates on companies? Because from where I’m standing, companies shouldn’t be in control of insurance. They need to regulate insurance companies (or do away with them altogether). The government should be making healthcare the same for everyone. Employed. Unemployed. Religious. Non-religious. Sick. Healthy. All health services should be readily available AT THE SAME COST for everyone.

Insurance is a big fat multi-billion dollar operation. These companies make COMMISSION on you. They’re gambling on your health. They “negotiate” prices with doctors’ offices and hospitals to give you a “discounted” rate…except that many times, you’ll get a better rate if you DON’T have insurance. Or if you qualify for Obamacare. I’ve discovered, after talking to several people, that some insurance plans available through employers cost the same, or more, but offer FEWER benefits than Obamacare. And yet people who are offered “reduced-rate” insurance through their employer don’t qualify for a reduced-rate Obamacare plan.

There are still problems with the system, but we’re moving in the right direction.

So maybe both sides of this debate should stop worrying about one company’s beliefs and a single court ruling, and instead they should worry about the bigger picture. Because this isn’t about women or contraception or religion. This is about corporate entities having control over ALL of our medical decisions.

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Brian Shares Saturday: In Which I Told Brian You Missed Him (And Had Really Bad Grammar [And was wired on coffee])

Because OBVIOUSLY you missed him. He is sometimes funnier than me. And more often than not, he finds cooler things on the internet.

But life has been busy and he has not had a lot of time to share with me the cool things he finds on the internet. Like the article about dogs who fight and the male dog lets the female dog win (Yes, blog friends, I learned about this last night when Brian would NOT let me make decisions for our team while playing Ticket to Ride, even though all the other dudes let their ladies make the decisions…and I was stubborn and said “Fine!” like we were fighting and everyone was all “ooooohhhh! Should have said ‘yes, honey’…” and Brian was like, “Hey I read this cool article about how male dogs always let the female win if they’re fighting.” and I was all, “Why didn’t you show me THAT?!” And we were still fighting.

But. Because we switched off turns after that, we both got to do our own strategizing and managed to kick everyone’s ass and obliterate the competition and LOVE Ticket to Ride…. Yes, I meant to leave that “but” as it’s very own sentence. And yes, I realize that I am still in a parenthetical statement. And yes I realize that I am rambling on about a game we played last night. I had a very strong cup of Keurig coffee for breakfast and am ON FIRE today!) So basically I couldn’t find the article. But the male lets the female win. Did you hear that, BRIAN?

So a few days ago Brian and I had this G-chat conversation:

Me: Please feel free to resume sending random pictures and links. My blog friends miss you
Brian: did they say that?
did anyone comment on the Dark Matter article? I bet they didn’t
🙁
that makes me cry a little on the inside

And I guess it’s not so much a conversation as a comment and response, but whatever. I did not fix his grammar. (Even though my title is talking about my poor grammar and over use of parenthetical statements and the fact that I started every paragraph in this post with a conjunction and several sentences…AND have several run on sentences, but I blame coffee…I did it on purpose! Sort of.)

So go over to the Brian Shares post that sort of discusses Dark Matter (well, links to it anyways) and, for the love of God, comment on it, just to tell Brian that you have no idea what it means, but you love him anyways…otherwise this Saturday spot may cease to exist. Plus, no one needs to see my boyfriend cry. Especially not me.

He did FINALLY, after lots and lots of begging, offer me these two lovely pictures. On separate days.

Dolphins!!

If you don’t know this about me, you should. I have a dolphin obsession. Maybe it’s because they’re the only mammals, other than humans who fight and bang for pleasure. Maybe it’s because they’re so damn smart. Maybe it’s because I believe that I was a dolphin in a past life. I don’t know. But I love them. A lot. And Brian always threatens to eat dolphins. And I tell him that is mean and horrible. But then he sends me gifs like this (yes gif, not gift) and I still love him.

dolphin gif

I love the dolphin chomp. It’s what I do to bubbles! I could watch this video for hours.

Superman Meets Dr. Who

So I’ve finally started watching Dr. Who from the beginning. (OK the reboot beginning…I am lazy and don’t REALLY want to watch a show from the 60’s). I had seen many episodes and enjoyed them. But for some reason Brian doesn’t always know the difference between me falling asleep because I’m bored or tired…so he never watches it with me. So in order to show him “Hey! I’ll watch this awesomeness with you!” I started watching old episodes to “catch up.”

He sent me this, which was RIGHT after I watched the episode where a space ship crashes into Big Ben. Which apparently happens a lot in Dr. Who? And Brian said to me, “This is why Superman doesn’t visit London.”

Superman meets Dr. Who

The End!

 

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

In Light of the Tragedy in Connecticut

I realize that I have yet to comment on the shooting in Connecticut. I realize that I was, until this post, a minority in the blogging world for having held off until now. But what I have to say needed a few days to breath. And I still cannot seem to find the eloquence that I long to find. And I’m sure haters are going to hate. But this is my blog with my opinions and feelings. Without further ado…

Our strongest weapon is hope. Hope for a brighter future. Hope for a more peaceful world. Hope for our children and their children.

Our biggest enemy is fear. Fear of moving forward. Fear of violence and terror. Fear for our children and their children.

We need to gather strength from our mourning hearts and courage from our fears to move forward. To continue on. To hope that the world isn’t all terrible. And to remember. When innocent children are killed for selfish and thoughtless crimes, the world weeps. For one brief moment, they are everyone’s children. But after the news had aired, the children are returned to the earth, and the world resumes in blissful ignorance.

Until it happens again.

What, then, can we do to prevent such a tragedy?

6 months ago, 70 people were injured or killed in a movie theater.

5 years ago, 50 people were injured or killed at a Virginia university.

13 years ago, more than 30 people were injured or killed in a Colorado high school.

Can such tragedies be prevented? What can we do to help our children and their children? Instead of placing blame, we need to take responsibility. We need to hold ourselves accountable. We need to hope. We need to have faith…in something.

someecard tragedy Sandy Hook Elementary

I’ve been mostly appalled with the judgmental hostility floating around the internet. When an even like that at Sandy Hook Elementary occurs, we shouldn’t start pointing fingers at the people who manage to make it through the day laughing and playing with their families or friends. The world doesn’t stop when anyone passes away. The world doesn’t stop when human beings are cold. Or hungry. Or abused. Or mentally distressed. The world weeps, but it does not stop; not for a second. You can choose to dwell on the tragic events that the news chose to publicize (because yes, a lot of other tragic events happen that you don’t even know about), or you can choose to do something about it. Live your life to the fullest. Contact a politician. Do something nice for others. Be a decent human being that makes other peoples’ lives worth living.

The following blog posts have been inspirational in my journey to find the right words:

Still Life Miniatures-So Much Going On

First Time Mom and Dad-An Open Letter to Media Hounds

It’s a Dome Life-I Don’t Have Any Words

The B(itch)log-What is Wrong With You People?

To them, I say, thank you.

What do you think? Am I wrong?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Sunday Morning News: Monkeys in Coats

Monkeys in Little Monkey Jackets

Oh yes, Blog Lovers, you heard me. There was a monkey running around in Toronto…with a cute little monkey coat on! It was seriously the greatest news article I’ve read in a while. Brian actually shared it with me, but I wanted to save it for news day! Go read the article about the runaway monkey, then come back. I’ll wait. (Man, I wait on you guys to catch up a lot.)

Monkey in a Jacket outside IKEA

Several things. 1. As soon as I saw this, I tweeted it to my blog pal That Ash Girl. We have a shared love of adorable animals. 2. The monkey was in front of an IKEA. For those of you who don’t know, I despise IKEA for it’s cheap unattractive appeal. I’m a furniture snob. I get it. But I mean…you should see our couch. It’s friggin’ awesome. Brian always tells me how lucky he is…to have a couch as nice as ours.  3. The monkey was likely running away from IKEA, because like his fashion sense (the coat looked SO cute on him) his furniture sense of style is rock solid. Run Little Monkey! Be Free!

 

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Sunday Evening News: In Which I was in the Newspaper

That’s right. I’m legit famous now. I was in the Chicago Tribune yesterday for my Black Friday shenanigans. You remember how I was boycotting “Black Thanksgiving?” It totally made the paper. Well, that and the fact that Mom, my sister, Mary, and I were all dolled up for “Bling on Black Friday,” in which we won all sorts of free gift cards.

Our local mall, Yorktown Center, hosts an annual Black Friday shindig. The first year was all about hats. The second year was ugly sweaters. This year was all about bling. Mom did princess bling with a tiara, a mink shawl (that was given to my great aunt and was once owned by the founder of World’s Finest Chocolate’s wife), and a fancy antique brooch. I did Christmas bling, with a necklace of bows and garland wrapped around me. Mary did glamazon bling with glitter everywhere. Mary even got a $50 gift card for painting her jeans in glitter.

Bling on Black Friday

You can read the newspaper article on the Chicago Tribune website. We’re about 3/4 of the way down.

They interviewed us for a pretty long time…I was a bit worried that I would sound totally unintelligent. I think I did alright. What do you think?

 

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Sunday Morning News: 24/7 Cupcake ATM, Naked Yoga, Skydiving Cats, & Twinkies

 Cupcake Machine

When I found this first news video, I wished I lived in Beverly Hills (Ohh! Is Luke Perry there? Is it 1995 again?) so that I could get a cupcake from an all night machine. The cupcake ATM is a novelty…Like when we were in London and came across a liquor vending machine. It’s like requisite take-photos-in-front-of-this-thing thing.

alcohol vending machine

Seriously. How cool is that?

Naked Yoga

In a follow up news video to last week’s Ban on Public Nudity, I found this gem, a naked yoga class open to both men and women. Not to be all obnoxious and embarrassing, but sign me up. The yogi said it perfectly when he told the camera, “If you’ve ever been skinny dipping, you’ll never want to wear a bathing suit again. It feels so comfortable; so natural.” I have to agree. It’s not about showing off or looking at naked-ness…it’s just about being comfortable. So I think I’d dig naked yoga. Once I lose about 50 pounds.

 Skydiving Cats…Or Not?

In Sweden, an insurance company has created a commercial with skydiving cats who, gasp are high-fiving mid-air! Check this out.

OK, maybe it’s movie magic…but still high-fiving skydiving cats?! It’s a no-brainer.

Twinkies in the News

As many of you may know, Twinkies, and the other treats created by Hostess Bakery, may be on their way out the door. With Hostess claiming bankruptcy for the 2nd time in less than a decade…things aren’t looking too good for the spongy cakes.

I have a strong connection to Twinkies, as my buddy Cletus and I were often voted as “Twinkies” in our fraternity, considering we were always together-two in a pack. So it was no surprise that on graduation day, Cletus walked up to me with a pack of Twinkies. These were individually packaged, which was good, because the only place I had to put it was in my bra. We sat next to each other, cracking jokes and eating Twinkies as some random speaker asked us to donate money to Bradley. Cletus and I wrote a post-dated check for $1.00 signed from the both of us. Bradley cashed the check.

Back to Twinkies: These are not your typical videos. These are not boring old news. Watch them. Watch them and laugh. Twinkie hot dogs with cheese whiz? A delicious log of joy? Cockroaches and Twinkies? Yes. Yes. and Yes.

I’m not going to lie, I included the next video just because of the Ghostbusters Twinkie reference.

What is a Twinkie?

That’s the news for this week. Did you see something funny in the news? I’d love to include it in a future Sunday Morning News post. Send the link to QuirkyChrissy@gmail.com.

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Sunday Morning News: Ban on Public Nudity, Penguin Invasions, and Stoner Dogs

It’s hard to believe that yet another week has gone by and it’s almost socially acceptable for me to put up my Christmas trees! (If you want a Christmas card from yours truly, send an e-mail with your info to quirkychrissy @ gmail.)

This week, I’ve come across some fun and interesting news articles to share with you. I hope that you’ll find them as enlightening and amusing as I did…

First on the list is public nudity in San Francisco. Why. Did. I. Not. Know. About. This? No pants? That sounds like an awesome idea. Why they want to ban it is beyond me. Let people run free. Without pants. Damn the man; save the empire!

Just let the naked guys be naked in peace.

This next bit of news is for my bestie in the whole world, Katie Belle. She writes at Words for Worms and you should read it because she’s fantastic. She has a slight penguin obsession (Read: HUGE LOVE OF PENGUINS). In this tricky situtation, endangered penguins have invaded a South African town. I think Katie would love it… Am I right?

Who doesn’t love penguins indeed?

With the legalization of marijuana in two states this election year, it’s not surprising that I came across this vid. While I may not have ever partaken of the get-Buck-stoned campaign…but I do know that my old dog was, on occasion, high. Of course, this was hilarious to all who witnessed it…and more often than not, it wasn’t even because of the weed. Veternarian prescribed doggie downers cause the same stoned-dog results…As Buck was a bit on the scaredy dog side during storms…fireworks…loud noises…lots of people…he often needed a little…calming down. So, if you’re really looking to chill your pup out…talk to the vet, and save the dope for your human pals.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend! GO BEARS!

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Brian Shares Saturday: The Jig is Up

Well, I knew it would happen eventually…but not this quickly. Brian is now actively looking for things to impress and amuse you. I get e-mails like this one:

“Pic for Sunday blog”

Pup in a basket picture

Then, I have to explain to him that it’s Saturday’s blog post. And he says to me, “Whatever. It’s a cute picture. Are you going to post it?”

“Well, obviously.  I mean, check out the awesome product placement of the Bed, Bath, and Beyond coupon (Did you know that you can use those puppies long after they’ve expired? The bartender’s roommates’ mom taught me that. I guess I learned something from the relationship after all.) And the can of Sprite. And the book, which looks sort of interesting, “Inside of a Dog.” That shit didn’t happen by accident.

Then, after explaining it to him…he says, “OK, whatever… and this one:”

Ninja Baby

“Brian, you’ve sent me that one twice, already.”

“Ha! Well…it was awesome.”

Brian was worried my mom would find this offensive, because of the Jesus reference, but I think she would laugh. Mom? What do you think?

Obama versus Jesus

And finally for this week, Sprint buys out U.S. Cellular in the Midwest markets. As I have convinced Brian to switch over to my Sprint account, in order to save money AND get $50 Samsung Galaxy S III’s on Black Friday…he keeps me posted with all of the interesting Sprint news. While this may not have been intended to make the Quirky Chrissy list of Brian’s shares…it did indeed.

Oh! I’ll throw in one more for good luck. As I mentioned the other day, my apartment has been giving me a headache. Brian took it upon himself to do a little extra research. And found that it might be formaldehyde in the new carpet…for about 5 seconds. He revoked the statement after debunking the internet with this article about formaldehyde in carpet. But then The Bloggess started following me on Twitter…so the Gchat conversation changed completely out of excitement.

So, Brian may be actively trolling the internet for great memes and gifs, which means that you’ll only get the best of the best from now on…And I’ll have lots of things to cherry pick. My Top Secret Mission has come to a close. Happy weekend!

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

The Sunday Morning News: Right Wing Crazies, Sluts, & Butlers

This week, I’ve come across a really special collection of news articles for your viewing pleasure. In some messed up version of reality, these things actually happen. Did you know that CNN was the Gay Gestapo? Me neither. A fantasy sex league in high school, in which male students bet on which girls they can get with…and what they do (or don’t do) about it…And finally butler school: Where can I sign up?

In more important news, Topango and Corey Matthews of Boy Meets World fame may be returning to TV…with their pre-teen daughter in Girl Meets World. The Boy Meets World long overdue sequel is casting right now and courting the two stars who married in the series finale 12 years ago… Oh Please please please! Yes! I’d watch it. I don’t care if it’s for teeny boppers.

The only problem is this: Right now (and I’m not complaining because I’m loving every sassy Christina minute of it) Mr. Feeny is on Grey’s Anatomy. And he can’t leave. He makes Christina likeable again. This is important. Mr. Feeny does good things for people in need. Always has. Christina needs him.

What do you think, readers? Which piece of news is your favorite?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!