What’s Up, Jenny McCarthy?

So…some of you may have caught the tale of my first period. Some of you may even be here, because you saw it on the Huffington Post.  Fucking awesome.

Well you know who else saw it? A producer. For Dirty, Sexy, Funny with Jenny McCarthy. And on Thursday morning,  Jenny is going to be interviewing….yours truly. Not me interviewing her, like I did with Dr. Travis Stork. And the second time with Dr. Travis Stork. Not me making a fool out of myself getting a book signed, like I did with Jenny Lawson. Or Cary Elwes.As a result of my Huffington Post essay about my first period, I'm going to be on the Jenny McCarthy radio show, Dirty, Sexy, Funny

Instead, I’m  going to be chatting with Jenny about my first period. And probably Chicago. She’s a Chicago girl, you know? Hilarity is sure to ensue. And maybe when we’re both chillin’ in the suburbs,  we’ll hang out. I mean, we could totally be friends after a 10 minute radio chat, right?

So anyway,  this quick blurb is brought to you by my pride and the desire to have your support as I begin my path to fame and fortune  (or just infamy for saying something completely idiotic because I’m SO. INCREDIBLY. NERVOUS.  You’ll just have to listen to find out).

You can listen to Dirty, Sexy, Funny on SiriusXM channel 109 (SiriusXM Stars) from 10 AM-12 PM eastern time on Thursday.  I believe I’m scheduled some time in the middle. You can even get a free trial of SiriusXM on your device for 30 days.

Guys, this is SO exciting for me, so let’s keep the excitement flowing. What’s exciting in your life right now? What are some of the cool things you’ve done that you’re still super proud of? No excitement is too small!

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

How Dr. Travis Stork and Crest Helped Me Conquer My Fear

This post is courtesy of a partnership with Crest and One2One Network. Of course, just because I’m receiving compensation to talk about my fear and my experiences does not make it any less meaningful. It’s all me…Just sponsored.

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I’m afraid of the dentist.

Have I told you that?

I have this thing with metal touching teeth that drives me absolutely bonkers. When you scrape your teeth against your fork to ensure you get every last bite of food off it? I want to rip my hair out. Just THINKING about metal touching my teeth sends an uncomfortable shiver through my body and physical pain through my mouth.

So the fact that I haven’t been to the dentist in 20+ years is something that I am regrettably ashamed to admit. But I’ll tell you. Because this is important. This week, I’ll be making a phone call to make an appointment with…wait for it…a dentist. Who will probably tell me that despite my twice-daily brushing habits, I have cavities (multiples). But I’m going to do it. (Someone confirm that I have done this by the end of the week. I am notoriously bad at remembering to do things that terrify me. I’m looking to you guys to hold me accountable!)

Because May is Women’s Health Month. And something that you wouldn’t normally associate with Women’s Health Month can have a ginormous effect on (you guessed it) women’s health. Everyone’s health, really. Oral hygiene.

Let’s go back to the beginning.

Last week, I received an invitation to meet the wonderfully handsome and professional Dr. Travis Stork. You remember last time, when I casually touched Dr. Stork’s chest, right? If you don’t, you should probably take a minute to catch yourself up. I’ll wait.

You’re back? Great.

So OBVIOUSLY, I said yes. I HAD to see if he remembered me. Plus I knew he would have necessary and important things to say. Because he’s wickedly handsome smart.

When I told Brian about it…he was less than impressed.

Textversation My boyfriend wants to punch Dr. Stork

OF COURSE, he was only joking, right BRIAN?

Anyways, I quickly discovered that this event was in honor of Women’s Health Month (and Women’s Health Week – which was last week) and the correlation between good oral care and healthy bodies. Oral care. I brush my teeth. Sometimes I use mouthwash. And I’m a Crest girl. That counts, right?

My office is like...a block away.

My office is like…a block away from this Walgreens. I love working on State Street.

When I arrived at Walgreens (Oh yeah, you guys, this event? A BLOCK AWAY from my office. I took an early lunch. How sweet is that?), I was told to head upstairs (yes, the flagship Walgreens is a double decker store. Snacks and bevvies are downstairs and pharmacy/beauty is upstairs) and the good doctor would be there.

Travis StorkI made my way up the escalator and randomly happened upon Travis in the toothpaste aisle. Coincidence? I think not. He was in the middle of a photo shoot, and I immediately burst into the aisle with a big double take and then an obnoxious “HI!” like we’re old friends. Which of course, we are.

And then I embarrassingly asked him if he remembered me. Because like…I told him if I ran into him at the grocery store, he needed to remember me. And Walgreens is LIKE a mini-grocery store. And he pretended to, “from. um. um. BlogHer right?”

Boom!

“Yep! I was the girl with the wheelie sneaks. I almost wore them! But then I didn’t! HI!” Derp.

“Yeah! How are you?” He’s too nice. He’s like the nicest famous person  I know. He may well be the only famous person  I know.

We gabbed as he moved from one photo shoot to the other and he mentioned how it was great to be back in Chicago–as the last time he was supposed to come he couldn’t. “Remember when it was negative 40 degrees?”

“Yes I remember perfectly. I was here. It was COLD. I can’t believe you bailed on Chicago for a little cold.”

“Planes wouldn’t take off! Not my fault!”

My dialogue isn’t exact. It’s loose. Forgive me. But this was the first time it was fun to chat about the weather. Small talk with my favorite doctor? Yes, please.

And this was all BEFORE my one on one interview! I was the first one there. Lucky me, right?

Once he was finally ready to sit down for an interview, I was brought back behind a table, and it was SUPER claustrophobic. Dr. Stork asked nicely to move the interviews to the front side of the table, and he even carried my chair for me. What a gentleman!

So we sat down, and of COURSE, I was all discombobulated and nervous, dropping  my notepad and phone and camera all over the place, while he sat there cool as a cucumber.

I eventually got to start asking a few questions about the campaign with Crest and learned a few new things about the importance of REALLY GOOD oral care.

I thought it was kind of adorable that when I asked about the reason they were running this campaign for Women’s Health Month, Dr. Stork replied that women are essentially the captains and commanders of the household (Fact. Actually his words were more like, “Women are the guiders of good health” which I giggled at, internally) but that’s only part of why they were targeting the ladies.

70 percent of pregnant women have gingivitis or gum issues

So ladies, if you’re preggers, make SURE that you’re brushing, rinsing and flossing daily to protect yourself and reverse signs of this gum disease! but it’s not just pregnant women!

One out of every two adults has gingivitis or gum issuesAccording to the good doctor, there have been several studies that show correlation between periodontal diseases and heart disease. So your teeth health could possibly effect your overall health.

What’s a girl to do? Visit with the dentist twice a year. And brush your teeth twice a day. And rinse with a mouthwash of some sort. And floss (but you only have to do that once a day.) Dr. Stork uses Crest Pro-Health (they can prevent and even REVERSE gingivitis), and I proudly told him that we were a Crest household, as well. So when Crest hooked this girl up with a goodie bag of Crest Pro-Health and Oral-B products (plus my favorite doctor’s diet plan book), I was super excited!

Travis StorkAnd of course, there was the obligatory photo shoot with fancy camera men who made me look slightly washed out next to handsome doctors. And I was gripping my camera because I didn’t know where to put it. But look! We both wore purple!

Travis StorkWhat can you do next? Well, start by reading up on the importance of a good oral care routine with Crest Pro-Health products (paste, brush, rinse and floss) which, at Walgreens, are on sale for $2.99 each; PLUS when you buy 2 you get 1 free.  This offer is valid from 5/18-5/24. </ProductPlugging>

Feel free to be awesome like me (because I’m not obsessing over my oral hygiene routine in typical OCD fashion – no seriously, after this interview, I went and threw a bunch of money at the pharmacy and said make my teeth happy and gingivitis-free! And I’ve tripled the time I spend cleaning my teeth. And I started flossing.) and go spend about $20 on additional oral care products.

And make that dreaded appointment with your dentist. Conquer the fear. Oh, wait that’s just me? I’m working on it.

What’s your oral care routine like? Are you afraid of the dentist? What do you think of my dreamy doctor friend?

 

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Musical Chairs Featuring Chris Infusino

Today, I’ve rustled up something REALLY special for you guys. I am surrounded by beautiful musical people. I grew up around them and with them. Music has always been something important to me, even if I can’t tell you the name of the song or the band who played it. You bet your ass I’m still singing along to it.

In high school, I met an incredibly talented drummer. The drum line was way more fun than the football players…and usually more interesting.  Really, though…I met several incredibly talented musicians. So, hopefully (if you enjoy this), I’ll be able to continue this spot once a month for several months.

Chris Infusino The Vim Dicta

My Music Theory AP class senior year of HS. So much raw talent. So many amazing musicians. And then there was me.

Somewhere in the crowd of teenagers, you’ll find my friend, Chris. Who I invited to Turnabout my senior year. With my mom’s rules about me needing a date for any school dance paired with the previous Homecoming date FLOP, I knew I needed to go with someone who would be ridiculous amounts of fun. A friend that would rock out on the dance floor and not need babysitting. That friend was Chris. I was nervous about asking him (I remember internally panicking and then just…doing it) but he was all like, yep! Which, looking back makes me wonder if someone had already pre-asked him on my behalf in typical high school fashion…

By far the best date I ever had to a school dance, Chris was (still is) awesome. We were both social butterflies, so tearing up the dance floor with all of our different people wasn’t a problem. I recall (and this could be a foggy-it-was-more-than-10-years-ago memory/nostalgia) that we had a pretty fabulous time.

Chris Infusino

We were both smiley and adorbs for 17-year-olds. right?

I recently re-connected with Chris to discover that yet another of my amazing classmates was living their musical dream. And I needed to share that will you.

I do hope that you’ll welcome him into our little tribe here. Without further ado, I give you Chris Infusino (as answering questions that I asked of him).

I’m Chris Infusino, and I live life exactly how I wish to live it. I’m a professional drummer, currently in the band The Vim Dicta, living in Los Angeles, CA. Also worked as a session drummer in Chicago, Nashville, and most recently, New York City. I’m also a classic car nut, machinist, carpenter, engine builder, and professional ice cream tester.

Chris InfusinoI play pretty much anything one can hit…so versatile percussionist? I mostly play big ass rock & roll drums though, and is how I make my living. I do sing…and not just in the shower. I’ve been playing for 18 years. I’ve literally played all over the states, and also did a USO tour in the Middle East back in ’09.

So many stories to tell… I’d say playing Carnegie Hall was pretty sweet, doing a record with my current band, The Vim Dicta at Capitol Records Studios was off the hook!! Recording on Dr. John’s record in New York City. Playing festivals in front of 50,000 people….it’s all pretty amazing. I love my job! I JUST started writing with my band, The Vim Dicta.

The Vim Dicta 3Top 5 Musical Moments: Hmmmm……….

  1. Recording at Capitol Records Studios in Hollywood, CA w/ The Vim Dicta
  2. Carnegie Hall in New York City, w/ World Civic Orch. playing drums with a 175 piece orchestra.
  3. Recording w/ Dr. John on his latest record, with a good chunk of Bob Dylan’s and Saturday Night Live’s bands also on the record.
  4. Playing with Buddy Guy in Chicago back when I first went “full time”.
  5. Playing in my parents basement for years and to about 1000 records. Very thankful for this one…

Routines or rituals: I don’t “practice” drums too much anymore…I’m always playing with my band, The Vim Dicta or with friends!

Chris InfusinoI practice chocolate consumption, beer testing, drummer faces that don’t make me look like a dumb ass (if that’s possible) and letting life carry me where it will without any expectation of the future….OH, and I practice never EVER, EVER, EVER having to wear a suit…unless it’s a funky sexy one for the Grammy’s or something…

The Vim Dicta 2Musical Influences: My parents (Mom is a singer, Dad a drummer) Fave musicians, anyone, man or woman, that can move me and make me smile and dance.

Other influences: The world around me.

Success in the musical world or in general: Finding true friends, and getting to spend time or make music with them. I happy dance EVERYWHERE!! It spreads good juju to the masses!!

The moment: I was 16. Started getting asked to play in bands, also I was practicing like 8 hours a day, and saying “F*ck You” to homework…pretty much knew then I had to do this.

On a side note, thank you to my parents, guidance counselor, and the few teachers who believed in me enough to get my ass in gear so I could move on, and live my life.

What do I hope to communicate through music? Good juju and the want for women to do sexy interpretive dances…

Ultimate Plan: To never have a plan. I’m exactly where I need to be.

Want to connect with Chris and hear more music from The Vim Dicta?

The Vim DictaPretty cool cat, am I right?

 

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Interview with a Dalek

Quirky Chrissy and a Dalek Escape into the TARDIS

 

 

 

 

Because I couldn’t interview Wil Wheaton. Even though Lily from It’s a Dome Life was lobbying really hard for me. Stalk Wil Wheaton DayStalk Wil Wheaton Day 2Stalk Wil Wheaton Day 3Stalk Wil Wheaton Day 4And I know how much you love my interviews…

And really, it’s not so much of an interview as a conversation.

And by conversation, clearly I mean witty banter.

And by witty I mean…well, I’m not sure what I mean, but you’ll see.

 

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

A Letter to Recruiting Agencies

Dear recruiter,

It has come to my attention that you don’t all seem to quite understand how the job market works. I have discovered the following issues with you and your respective companies, and I would like to help you out.

1. Do just a little bit of research

I’m not asking you to discover my life story. I’m not asking you to read all of my writing samples. I’m definitely not asking you to seek out this blog (as it is obviously not intended to use for full time employment). I’m merely asking you to do a tiny speck of research.

Just because I live in Illinois, does not mean that any job in Illinois is within close proximity to me. In fact, just because I live in a Chicago suburb, does not mean that I live within close proximity to the job you are trying to bid at $15/hour. I would spend more in time and gas getting there every day. So, look at my resume, copy the town I live in, and Google map it for crying out loud. 3 seconds will save you a lot more time than it takes to call me.

2. Speak English. Well.

It’s very hard for me to understand you when you don’t even know how to pronounce Christine. It’s very easy. Say it with me, now, “K-ris-tee-n.” If I can’t understand your pronunciation of my name, how will I know the job details? How are we going to negotiate my rate of pay? How will I know what YOUR name is?

3. Double and Triple Check Appointments

If you set up an interview for me, please for the love of God, double check on both ends that it is a go. I’ve missed out on some great opportunities because of a recruiter’s mistake. When a high profile job goes live, I get 3-5 phone calls from various recruiters around the country. I’ll remember that the next time you call.

This is a short letter, but an honest one. I appreciate that you are there to “help” me, but I also understand that the “sale” is your bottom line. If you work with me, I’ll certainly work with you. I am GOOD at what I do. All you have to do is get me the interview.

Sincerely,

Me.

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!