Things I did when I was seventeen

Show of hands: Who drank beer in high school? Anyone do it so much that they needed to mention it 30 times in a job interview?

I did a lot of things at the young, innocent age of seventeen. But none of them were illegal. And none of them caused me to blackout. And I’m not even trying to get appointed to the Supreme Court.

A non-exhaustive list of things I did my senior year of high school

I went to school dances

I attended parties that DIDN’T involve alcohol

group of high school friends

Nearly twenty years later, I still see some of these girls on the regular.

I didn’t drink beer

I worked my tail off at school

I got into a good college

I didn’t drink beer

I was an athlete

Three girls blowing kisses in 90s high school cheerleading uniforms

If you tell me cheerleading isn’t a sport, I will fight you.

I had inside jokes with my friends

I didn’t drink beer

I went on dates with boys

I filled travel mugs with hot chocolate and hands with fresh baked cookies and, together, my best friend and I drove past our ex boyfriends’ houses

I didn’t like beer

I dressed in a way that made me feel pretty, which was sometimes too provocative for the school administrators

I went to the under-21 club without my parents’ knowledge

I still didn’t drink beer

I kissed my boyfriend. A lot.

I joked with my friends using sexual innuendo

I didn’t like beer

I dominated week-long games of Monopoly (and maybe I cheated)

I played Truth or Dare and Never Have I Ever

I didn’t want beer

I went ghost hunting at all the most-haunted spots in Chicago

I skipped senior prom because junior prom was just okay

I still didn’t like beer

I attended football and basketball games and went to TGIFridays afterward for chicken fingers and honey mustard

I went to theater parties and hung out with band kids

I didn’t want beer

I went on a Christian youth group trip to Florida 

I went to Las Vegas

Chrissy and friend with gondolier in Las Vegas Bellagio

At seventeen and sixteen, there was still a lot of fun things for my pal and me to see and do in Las Vegas without drinking beer or having sex.

I still didn’t want beer

I had co-ed sleepovers at my house

I hosted an unsupervised New Year’s Eve party with sparkling grape juice

I didn’t need beer

I can’t imagine a world where everyone in high school drinks. I suppose I should be thankful for my very rare high school experience in which I retained my innocence for a few years longer than everyone else. What did you do in high school?

Disclaimer: I was a super good kid in high school, but once I hit college, I discovered that I would, in fact, drink beer. This post is not designed to showcase me as holier than thou. Humor is a cornerstone of my life, and my intent is solely to amuse. And also to see how many times I can mention beer in a blog post*.

*18

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Innocence is in the Eye of the Beholder…Especially in New Orleans

Welcome to this week’s edition of Monday Memories to Make You Laugh! Today, we’re using a quote prompt instead of an idea.

“I don’t want to repeat my innocence. I want the pleasure of losing it again.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald

Innocence. When did I lose my innocence? I bet you’re thinking about virginity right now…but I’m not.

  • I’m thinking about the time I went to the dance club, even though I wasn’t supposed to and had to sneak into the house.
  • Or the time I went away to college and started drinking heavily.
  • But maybe the real downward spiral of my innocence truly was my first trip to The Big Easy.

What Happens in N’awlins…

I was 19. At a conference in New Orleans. Pre-Katrina. With more than 2,000 college kids. My fraternity brothers. (Co-ed service fraternity, thank you very much.) The week between Christmas and New Years Day. Unsupervised vacation for the first time in my life. It was glorious. Here are my top three less than innocent moments from that trip.

New Orleans Bourbon Street

5. Experiencing Bourbon Street in all it’s boozy glory. Now I was in my sophomore year of college, so I was no stranger to liquor…But I definitely indulged in all sorts of deliciously potent concoctions. That I got at bars. And not from older friends. Yes, blog friends, I snuck my 19 year old self into several bars, and ordered booze without being carded at others.

4.  Acquiring beads. Hear me out. This was a little unorthodox…but it happened. Instead of the traditional way of earning beads (which I may or may not have done…), my girlfriend and I set up a team effort to help our favorite shy guy out. Now, this was a guy who stayed in a room full of 4 very open ladies who believed You’re a brother…you don’t count…as we walked around in our underwear. And he would run to the window and stare out politely, waiting for us to cover our lady bits. So Mel ran the camera while I yelled down to the lady that our dear gentlemanly friend chose. “Hey! You! You down there with the green shirt! Show us your titties!” And then Mel would pop out from behind our pal and snap a shot with his camera. And then he gave us beads.

1. My first viewing of man bits. And then my second viewing of man bits. Yep. There were dudes just as willing to show their junk as ladies showing their tatas. And one of my newfound lady friends was ALL over that shit. And yes. I was a sophomore in college who had never seen man bits. And so, innocent little Chrissy fell down a little rabbit hole of crazy.

New Orleans Karaoke

For more Monday Memories, or just because they are awesome, check out It’s a Dome Life and First Time Mom and Dad.

 Tell me about a loss of innocence memory that YOU have (and no, I REALLY don’t want to hear about how you, you know…lost IT…unless it’s hilarious. Then you can share with the class.)

 

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!