Tasty Tuesday: October is National Pasta Month!

So I’ve been cooking up a storm lately, and I thought it was high time I share some more delicious recipes with you! In fact, I’ll bet you didn’t even know that October is National Pasta Month. Lucky for you, there’s me. And lucky for me, the fine people at The Pasta Shoppe were kind enough to send me some amazing pasta samples to try out. So that YOU can see some really delish ideas from my culinary mind, and then go to your kitchen and make them too.

Now, as you may know, I work a full time job in the city and live in suburbia, which means about 2+ hours of commute time when I add the morning and the evening together. So Brian and I don’t get home until almost 7. At which point, I’m RAVENOUS. And if you remember from the rules of owning a Chrissy, feeding me regularly is more than a necessity. It’s survivalism. So I need to make dinners quickly. The pasta that I received is fast. Easy. AND TASTY.

Basil Garlic Angel hair pasta nests

Basil Chicken Nests with Marinara Sauce and Cheese

  • 6 pasta nests
  • 1 boneless skinless chicken breast
  • 1 cup marinara sauce
  • 6 small slices of cheese
  • Fresh basil chiffonade

Last week, I used the Pasta Shoppe Basil & Garlic Pasta Nests, which cooked rapidly on my stovetop while I pan-fried a sliced chicken breast. I sprayed my toaster oven size baking pan with PAM, delicately placed the nests, filled them with the sliced chicken, and topped them with my homemade sauce (which I made over the weekend) and Thai basil Jack cheese.

Basil Garlic Angel hair pasta nests

I baked them in the toaster oven for about 15 minutes, and was left with a deliciously tasty meal for two. Then I garnished mine with a basil chiffonade (Brian hates added herbs) and voila! Brian was thoroughly impressed. (He’s always impressed when I actually put sauce on pasta, instead of just olive oil and cheese…which tends to be my MO.)

Basil Garlic Angel hair pasta nestsBasil Garlic Angel hair pasta nests

Basil Garlic Angel hair pasta nests

Basil Garlic Angel hair pasta nests

In addition to the fancy-pants pasta nests, I also received a slew of other goodies, most notably Snowman Pasta, Halloween Pasta and Under the Sea Mac and Cheese. Yes, my friends. DOLPHINS. AND CHEESE. IN ONE MEAL. (No dolphins were hurt in the making of this pasta.)

Dolphins and Cheese!

Halloween PastaHalloweenie Chili Mac

  • 2 cups Halloween pasta
  • 2 cups chili
  • 1/2 cup shredded cheddar
  • Nacho jalapenos

I was planning on making the Halloween pasta for our little Halloween party, but I quickly realized that with the number of people we’d be having, it probably wouldn’t have been enough. So instead, last night, I used leftover chili to make some chili mac. I love to make chili in the fall, even when death bugs are trying to poison it…Of course, every time I make chili, it’s totally different, but you can find one of my recipes here: Turkey Chili.

Halloween PastaThis time I used less veggies and real ground beef, so it was the perfect chili mac chili. I cooked the pasta (only 6 minutes!), reheated the chili and then layered a bowl with pasta, chili, jalapenos and cheese. I microwaved the bowls for about a minute each until the cheese was melty and then we dined. It was. AMAZING. I didn’t even know how much I loved chili mac until last night. Plus, spiderwebs, ghosts and pumpkins just sort of made this super fantastic.

Halloween Chili MacPasta from the Pasta ShoppeSo you want to know more about The Pasta Shoppe? They make small batch pastas with fun shapes and delicious flavors. Some come with added seasoning for pasta salad, mac and cheese, chicken noodle soup and so much more. When I checked out their websites, I was totally impressed. And SUPER excited.

In addition to being awesome, they run the Fun Pasta Fundraising company, so you or your kiddos can raise money by, wait for it, selling pasta! But not just any pasta…the delicious, fun-shaped, small-batch pasta from The Pasta Shoppe.

I’m saving the mac and cheese for a special occasion, but I’ll be sure to let you know how it turns out!

Want to create your own delicious pasta recipes with fun pasta? You can win a $30 prize package from The Pasta Shoppe! Just fill out the Giveaway Tools form below.  Make sure to leave a comment telling me which pasta you would most like to try and what you would do with it? The recipe that sounds the tastiest may just be featured on another Tasty Tuesday!

 

Good luck! The giveaway will run for one week!

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

DIY Halloween Bathroom Decor. Or How Chrissy is SERIOUSLY Twisted: 2013 Edition

After a year and a half of getting to know me on the internet, I PROBABLY don’t have to tell you that I’m seriously messed up in the head. I probably also don’t have to tell you that I’m a smidge on the sick and twisted side. Or that I love Halloween. Or that I love fake blood and guts and scaring the crap out of people.

So it REALLY shouldn’t surprise you that when I had the opportunity—for the first time ever, as I now live in my very own apartment (that I do not own, therefore don’t have to care about quite as much)—to really go a little nuts on the Halloween decor.

After Pinteresting the heck out of Halloween for the last month (Do you follow me on Pinterest? Because you should. I pin awesome stuff), Brian and I threw a little…Halloween Kickoff Party in our tiny apartment. And by tiny, I mean big enough to fit 24 of our closest pals. Obviously.


SpiritHalloween.com
The thing that I was most excited to decorate though…was the bathroom. Most of the apartment had a fun Halloween feel to it (and I’ll take you on a photo tour soon, promise!) thanks to my Halloween-loving uncle who donated a slew of amazing Halloween-y items to us (we filled up the car with goodies!) But the bathroom…the bathroom was going to be disgusting. And amazing. And perfect.

After working in a pretty awesome haunted house…and then my stint as an extra in a horror movie (I’ll tell you about that when the movie comes out, yo!), I learned a few tricks for high quality horror. So I had a plan. I was going to turn our bathroom into something of a horror scene.

For our Halloween party, we turned our bathroom into a bloody horror scene using some items we had laying around the kitchen for realistic looking blood that was EASY to clean up.

For our Halloween party, we turned our bathroom into a bloody horror scene using some items we had laying around the kitchen for realistic looking blood that was EASY to clean up.

DIY Decorative Blood

For the blood, I picked up some corn syrup, chocolate syrup and strawberry syrup. Then I mixed them all together. The real bonus, though was the pumpkin spice coffee grounds. That’s it. Easy peasy. And it smelled AMAZING. So even though my bathroom looked disgusting, it didn’t smell like ass at all!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

What do you think, guys? Twisted? Awesome? Disgusting?

Our guests told us that our bathroom was disgusting…BUT they also said that it smelled REALLY nice. And it totally did.

Cleaning up the fake blood

Everyone kept tell me that it was going to be SUCH a bitch to clean up. Because like…sticky. Oh and that we would have ants. But you know what? It wasn’t so bad.

Unfortunately, because we need to like…shower…we couldn’t keep these decs up through the season. So I went to work. I used two rolls of paper towels, an entire can of Extra Strength Scrubbing Bubbles (minus whatever I used to clean the bathroom prior to the mess), half a can of Windex Foaming Glass Cleaner, A bunch of 409 Kitchen cleaner and some Windex Bathroom Touch Up (this one, I scored from BlogHer)….

You want to know what worked best?

Warm water.

I realized, as I was breathing in all of the chemicals and choking to death, that maybe I should try just good old fashioned water, so I turned on the shower. And watched as coffee grounds and syrup melted off the walls and filled the tub. It was amazing. Even though I felt ridiculous for wasting all of the cleaning product that I wasted. Because water is awesome.

And the towel? I threw it in the washer. Piece of cake.

Shop New Halloween Decorations for 2015 via TrendyHalloween.com
What is the creepiest thing you’ve done for Halloween?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Me, Myself, and the Bouquet

Dear Lyssa of Psychobabble,

Recently, you announced your online wedding to Shirtless Ryan Gosling (henceforth in this post and future posts as SRG). I am so utterly happy for you that I can’t begin to find the right words.

Of course, I was also incredibly disappointed that as your future sister-in-law in the Shirtless family, I wasn’t automatically invited to be a bridesmaid. Even moreso, I was very sad to discover that I was going to have to DUKE IT OUT to catch the bouquet. This is emotionally difficult for me, since…well…you know how I feel about my imaginary  internet boyfriend Shirtless Jesse Metcalfe and what catching the bouquet would mean to me us.

Shirtless Jesse Metcalfe Photoshopped

Aren’t we a cute couple?

And so, I’ve compiled this photo blog post for you, Lyssa…to make the right decision.

Because I have bouquet toss HISTORY. I mean…the first time I caught the bouquet, the bride’s sister was all whine whine whine “IIIIII wanted to catch my sister’s bouquet” so I was all wine wine wine, “FINE.”

After that, catching the bouquet was a competition. One I was determined to win. At least, in the weddings I stood up in. And one or two others…

The first two weddings were competitions with Katie (who I beat out both times and she STILL got married before me…)

Bouquet Toss Wedding

Katie and I were both vying for this bouquet, since we both gave the MOH speech.

Bouquet toss drama

I wish I had the awesome picture, BROOKE, that really went with this wedding. I was airborn and vicious and victorious all at the same time…Again, Katie and I were both hoping for a piece of the action. I think it’s because I’m bigger than her that I always win…

funny bridesmaid photos

I make an excellent and FUN bridesmaid…I’ll get you liquored up and make you take funny photos…BEFORE the reception. This bride had a married bridesmaid directing her where to throw the bouquet (where I was standing) because I may or may not have threatened physical harm…

bouquet drama

This was when Katie got married. She practically handed me the bouquet. It probably didn’t help that my ex-boyfriend’s fiance was standing right next to me…

Bouquet Toss Drama

Her bouquet broke into 3 pieces when it flew…She didn’t want me hurting her niece who got to be the flower girl, even though Katie wanted that job since before flower girl was BORN…

Bouquet toss

At her bachelorette party, I told her I was vicious and should probably catch her bouquet…I’m sure it helped that I was one of 2 of our friends still unmarried…hopefully Shirtless Jesse Metcalfe will fix that after YOUR wedding, Lyssa…

Bouquet Toss Winner Halloween Costume

A few years ago, I went as the bouquet toss winner for Halloween. You’ll note the crutches (Yes, crutches AND high heels, all for the sake of Halloween, LYSSA), the bruising, the scratches on my arms…the fake nails glued into the dress…the bloody nose…you can’t see the ripped out earring with blood on the other ear…the ripped to shreds bridesmaid dress. Yep. All me. All true. Make it happen again.

Dear Blog Friends,

Please tell Lyssa that you think I should be her bouquet toss winner. Because it’s not about what winning the bouquet MEANS. It’s about taking out the competition.

Thank you for your time. I know that SRG and you will be very happy together. But happier still if I’m there. Shirtless Jesse Metcalfe and I hope you make the right decision.

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

This is Halloween: DIY Sally Skellington Costume

Halloween Costumes 2017
Every time I post a Halloween picture, thought, or idea…my mom asks, “Why aren’t you showing off your costume?!?” It’s really adorable actually. First, it’s adorable because my mom is one of my most dedicated readers. Second, it’s adorable because she’s super proud of her work. Her work, you ask? Yep. So here’s how this went down:

For Halloween, Brian and I were going to go as an old time villain and damsel in distress. But when we planned our Disneycation, it was decided that we needed costumes a little bit earlier than normal… Like September 14 early. And the costumes in question-we weren’t totally in love with. So, we started perusing the idea list. Brian had left open some tabs with Jack Skellington and Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas… (Oh right, one of my typical requirements is a ginger costume so that I have an excuse to re-dye my hair right before Halloween). It was the perfect idea. Now…to find the costume.

When I couldn't find a costume I liked, I made my own DIY Sally Skellington Costume and my boyfriend made part of his Jack Skellington Costume

I pinned a few ideas to my Sally Pinterest board…but I was unimpressed with the quality of costumes available. I wanted authenticity. So I decided that I would make my own costume. I would get a base dress, some fabric to match the patches, and sew the patches to the base dress with black yarn. Easy peasy, right? Not right. I got the dress and vintage clothes with the fabric I wanted from garage-sailing one Saturday afternoon during the summer, stopped off at my parents’ house, and got started.

15% Off Easy Costume Kits via TrendyHalloween.com

Obviously, after the needle bit my hand 3 times, and it was evident that I was doing a piss-poor job of sewing this thing…it was not going to go very far. Luckily…Mom was sitting right there…telling me, “You’re doing it all wrong. Give it to me!” I handed it off to her…and all of a sudden my project became her project. Plan successful. Mom took over. Now, my mom is hand-sew, knit, crafty, crafty genius…and despite her arthritic hands, took it upon herself to spend about 30 hours working on this masterpiece.

[caption id="attachment_1059" align="aligncenter" width="269"]When I was looking for the perfect Sally Halloween costume, I couldn't find what I wanted. So my mom and I worked together to create this DIY Sally Skellington costume. The base dress with the Sally sleeves[/caption]

Every so often, I would head over to the house for a fitting…and Mom’s work of art was beginning to take shape.

[caption id="attachment_1060" align="aligncenter" width="269"]When I was looking for the perfect Sally Halloween costume, I couldn't find what I wanted. So my mom and I worked together to create this DIY Sally Skellington costume. Looking good, right?[/caption]

So I was getting pretty stoked about this costume…and Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party. Mom stopped using the black yarn as thread and switched to multiple strands of black thread. You can sort of tell the difference, but they both look awesome, and it’s not supposed to be uniform, so it worked out REALLY well. (The regular thread made it way easier to sew.)

Finally, it was less than a week before we left for Disney…and my costume was DONE! I was ridiculously excited, even after we got skunked while packing for the trip.

[caption id="attachment_1063" align="aligncenter" width="512"]halloween at Disney Sally and Jack costumes Brian’s costume still needed a little work done before Halloween, but it worked while we were in Disney.[/caption]

Brian eventually finished his costume by wearing a suit (it was FAR too warm in Florida to wear a suit jacket and pants to wander the Magic Kingdom), making a bow tie out of a bat and a wire hanger, and getting skeleton hands.

 

[caption id="attachment_1064" align="aligncenter" width="404"]Disney magic in my DIY Sally Costume Disney Magic. *sigh*[/caption]

Note, while at Disney, we invested in a Zero! So I still needed a few things too… the boots and the stripey socks. It took me until the day of the big Halloween party (this past Saturday) to find exactly what I was looking for. But I found them. And the end result was pretty fantastic.

[caption id="attachment_1066" align="aligncenter" width="402"]Jack Skellington and Sally DIY Costumes Jack & Sally (My mom’s awesome, right?)[/caption]

Have you ever conned one of your parents into doing something you knew they would do better than you? Have you ever made your own Halloween costume because the store-bought ones just weren’t cutting it? What are you going to be for Halloween this year?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Confession Friday: I Don’t Have Time to Write! AKA I Spent My Time Carving Pumpkins

So you get pictures instead.

Pumpkin Carving 101…without direction… a photo shoot of model pumpkins

Pumpkins and Decorations Oh My!

Getting Ready for the Halloween Party!

The fist carved pumpkin

This one is going to have 3 little faces drawn on the small pumpkins and they will be on a skewer going into the big mouth

Carved Pumpkin 2

This one has little wrinkle lines that will shine through when lit…

Dog Watching Humans carve pumpkins

This is Dexter. He is thinking to himself, “Crazy fucking humans.”

More Pumpkin Carving

My work station

Carving Baby Pumpkins

Carving the Evil Piranha Pumpkins–not my best angle…

Dog watching humans carve pumpkins

“Stupid humans. That’s food.” (Right before he got up and started eating the innerts)

Attack of the Baby Pumpkins

My work of art. This year’s “Chrissy is sick and twisted” pumpkin. If there’s time, I’ll carve more crazy pumpkins!

baby Pumpkin piranhas

One more look at my work of art

More carved pumpkins

The work of my awesome roommates

Bad Ass Pumpkin

My roommate Anna’s work of art…This one drew blood. They say once a pumpkin tastes human blood…

Deep Sea Pumpkin

My other roommate’s pumpkin. This one is still in a process, it’s going to have a baby pumpkin hanging from the top like a deep sea fish.

 

Pumpkin Family

Family Photo…

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

DIY: How to Make Your Own Halloween Decor AKA Some Seriously F*ed Up Sh*t

So, in case you didn’t already know… I’m pretty sick and twisted when it comes to Halloween. From Haunted House Costumes and this awesome bouquet toss winner costume to Pinterest Gone Awesome with a Baby Eating Pumpkin, a bathroom spider den, a murder scene, and these horrifyingly creepy dolls, I’ve got some really messed up thoughts on the creepy. Last week, while perusing Pinterest for some ideas to decorate for the Halloween festivities at our house, I came across this pin:

Source: grandinroad.com via Chrissy on Pinterest

Source: grandinroad.com via Chrissy on Pinterest

First, I thought to myself, That is the coolest fucking thing I have ever seen. Then I realized, $33? Fuck that. I can make that bad ass piece of Halloween paraphernalia way cheaper.

So last night, I got the supplies together…(and spent a grand total of $8) and set out to create. My plan was: If this goes poorly, I will call the post: Pinterest Gone Wrong. If this goes well, I will call this post Some Seriously Fucked up Shit.

As you will soon see, I’m an evil genius.

The Materials the Make the Hanging Cocoon

The materials I started with: 2 long poles (I used a broomstick and a mop), a ball, a fitted bed sheet, a hanger, fake spider web, and plastic bugs.

I needed some tape, too. Luckily Brian had duct tape in his car…

Duct Tape for Halloween Decoration

Yes. In his car. Creepy?

Hanging Cocoon Man for Halloween

Tape the hanger to the ball. The hanger is your “shoulders.”

How to Make the Coolest Halloween Decorations

Tape the poles to the hanger.

Halloween Cocoon Man

Tape the poles together in the center.

Making a Cocoon Man for Halloween

Cool, right?

It was at this point that I realized I needed a few additional supplies — 3 more hangers.

Cocoon Man Hips

Use one hanger for the hips.

Cocoon Man for Halloween

Reinforce the head.

Hanging Cocoon Man

Add the Shoulders (2 additional hangers).

Halloween Mummy Decoration

Wrap the body like a mummy.

Brian made a suggestion that we add a pillow to the body. Since we have a plethora of pillows…this seemed like a brilliant plan. So, I ran and got one.

The Hanging Mummy

Tape the pillow to the poles

Making a Hanging Mummy

Re-wrap the cocoon.

Spider Web Wrapped Cocoon

Wrap the cocoon in spider webbing.

Hanging the Corpse

We used these bungee cables.

I realized we needed something to hang the mummy, and Brian had these in his car, too…hmmmm…

Hanging Mummy

Hang the mummy.

Adding to the Hanging Cocoon

We’re going to cover that entire area in spiderwebbing…Like so. And people will be scared. Like so.

Hanging Cocoon Man

Put on the finishing Touches-the death bugs…not unlike Death Bug.

Brian is terrified of this. He thinks I am completely sick and twisted. He is right.

I made a homemade hanging mummy cocoon wrapped in spider webs and hung it from the banister in the stairwell for our Halloween Party

What creepy-ass shit do you do for Halloween?

Shop New Halloween Decorations for 2015 via TrendyHalloween.com

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

The Joy of Haunted Houses and Halloween

I love love love Halloween. It’s THE ultimate holiday. It’s the fourth family holiday, you know. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Halloween. My aunt in North Carolina actually flies into Chicago for this, above all other holidays. It’s the best. I’ve had my fair share of Halloween costumes, many of which were homemade or half homemade.

Haunted House Costumes Galore

This is the first in a series of photo posts in honor of my favorite holiday.

Crazy Haunted House Costume Numbers Clown

I used to volunteer at a haunted house…

In fact, this is how I managed to survive student teaching. I’ve said it was the hardest thing I ever did in my life, but it got a little crazy, considering I was president of my local Jaycee chapter, who ran a haunted house. One of the most hectic times of my life–I escaped into the costumed crazy of Suzzee, my haunted house character with character.

She started out because I love acting the crazy part.

 

Crazy Haunted House Costume 2

This is Suzzee at the very early stages

Crazy Haunted House Costume with Teased Hair

Check out that hair!

As I’ve had some experience in the world of haunted houses, I’ve decided to share with you the secrets to haunted houses. This is what to prepare for.

The Five Types of Haunted House Scares

The Standard Scare

This scare revolves around the things that typically scare…Spooky atmosphere. Scary music. Dark hallways. Traditional monsters. Dead people.This is the easy scare. Mostly scares little ones…

Redneck Monster Haunted House Costume

My redneck monster

Dead Haunted House Character

Dead

Haunted House Costume

My audition photo for The Walking Dead. What do you think?

The Boo! Scare

This scare is the most common. The jump-out-of-a-hidey-spot scare. The rah! scare. The scare they’re expecting, but not expecting…If you’re going through a haunted house, expect this when you least expect it. And when you most expect it. Just be ready for it everywhere.

Haunted House Creepy Little Girl

Suzzee started taking shape. She was a little girl who got into mommy’s makeup, but she was crazy. She was sweet, but mean. Friendly, but nasty. Quiet, but loud…When you least expected it, she was there–screaming in your face…

The Grotesque Scare

As you can see in the photo above, I wasn’t opposed to covering myself in fake blood. (corn syrup and food coloring) The grotesque scare feeds on the fear factor of humans. I’ll bet you never thought about how gross watching someone masticate is… I took every opportunity to chew in people’s faces.

Haunted House Crazy Girl

That red candy was a gummy heart with red liquid candy…it was like eating a heart covered in blood…and I was absolutely disgusting while I did it… I also used gummy finger fries in bloody ketchup…

Haunted House Characters

Suzzee was caught by the popo and stuck behind bars for a while…That pink bunny had a squeaker in it…and was stuffed with cotton candy…which I pulled out and ate in front of people. They really thought I was eating the cotton…

Haunted House Costume Fun

Told you.

The Personal Space Scare

This scare is easy. Walk up to someone who looks scared…stand close enough that you’re just barely touching them (without touching them). Get your face in their face. Sniff them. Smile at them. Scowl at them. Or even better…Scream in their face when they start laughing at you. All of these things are allowed in a haunted house!

Crazy Haunted House Halloween Costume

Suzzee had no problem walking up to people and crowding their personal space. Often.

The Mind-Fuck Scare

There really was no other way to describe this type of scare. It’s the scare that leaves you with nightmares. It’s the scare that makes you unforgettable to teeny bopper radio DJ’s (Yes, that’s right…I ran into them at the car show 5 months later looking normal…Guess what? They still remembered me. They told me they were still having nightmares about my character. It was the greatest compliment. Ever.) I’ve got a super creepy monotonous singing voice that I bust out for haunted housing… I can stare at the same spot for 5 minutes straight…It’s pretty fun.

Haunted House Creepy Character

Creepy right? MIND-FUCK

So Suzzee was the best…Because she encompassed ALL of the scares. An all-around mind-fuck who did and said whatever she wanted.It was great, because I had to be in character at all times. So instead of being the responsible president or the responsible student. Or the responsible teacher… I could just be Suzzee. And life was fun.

When I grow up, I want to be an actress.

 

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

I Was on Pinterest Before it Was Cool

No seriously. I was.

I’ll bet you joined Pinterest just before Christmas…Maybe you joined in January, after the holiday excitement settled down. Or maybe you just started pinning about 3-4 months ago. But not me.

I joined when the only friend I had on there was the friend that recommended I check it out. (Thanks, Molly!) Then I made Penny get on it. But there we were on it before it was big. Before it was crazy. Before it was cool.

This is my Pinniversary, so I thought that I would share my favorite things that came from Pinterest. I used Pinterest for Halloween last year. It was perfect!

In order to find the perfect Halloween costume, I pinned everything I could. I’m of the making-your-own-costume-is-better school of thought, but my version of making is scissors and hot glue. I don’t sew. Not my style. So Poison Ivy was my plan…

This is what I came up with:

Poison Ivy Makeup

OK, so the makeup was professionally done by an amazing costume company in Batavia, IL called All Dressed Up (I’m not that much of a genius…the chick literally GLUED glitter to my lips. It was awesome.) She painted the ivy on my face using face paint, glitter and glue (including my glitter glued eyelids). She then glued the ivy to my face with the glue as well.

More makeup

After I decided that I was going to be Poison Ivy, I told Brian that he could be any Batman Bad Guy that he wanted. He opted for Ras Al Ghul. He got a green cloak, added gold accents and shaved his beard all funny. It was awesome.

Poison Ivy and Ras Al Ghul

For the Poison Ivy costume, I took a velvet dress I found at a thrift store and cut the neck down to something borderline inappropriate and trimmed the sleeves (which I used as leg warmers). Then I individually glued fake ivy leaves (also acquired at thrift stores) all along the edges of the dress and spiraled them up and around the back.

For my accessories, I glued sprigs of ivy to a headband so I would have ivy in my hair, I glued a piece of ivy to a cheap necklace, and then I individually glued ivy leaves all around a pair of pointy toed pumps. I bought the plus size green tights and almost called it a day…when I realized I had a green purse that would be perfect with ivy glued all around it as well. To this day, this was one of my favorite costumes.

Poison Ivy and Satan

With Cletus. Check out my shoes!

The poison ivy costume maybe cost me $15… and about 20 hours of manual labor. Yes, I individually glued on all of those leaves. On the dress, on the shoes (those shoes were BLUE), even on a purse. The shoes and purse were my pride and joy–I still have the whole thing.  I was pretty impressed with myself. (OK, I’m usually pretty impressed with myself…but other people were impressed too!)

So there you have it, my Pincreations from the days before Pinning was a thing. From the days when I actually had to Google shit to put it ON Pinterest. (Yes, most of my original pins were pinned from Google images. You’re welcome.) So thanks to me, Poison Ivy Costume Hunters can have a great Halloween.

What are your favorite things to pin on Pinterest?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!