DIY: How to Make Your Own Halloween Decor AKA Some Seriously F*ed Up Sh*t

So, in case you didn’t already know… I’m pretty sick and twisted when it comes to Halloween. From Haunted House Costumes and this awesome bouquet toss winner costume to Pinterest Gone Awesome with a Baby Eating Pumpkin, a bathroom spider den, a murder scene, and these horrifyingly creepy dolls, I’ve got some really messed up thoughts on the creepy. Last week, while perusing Pinterest for some ideas to decorate for the Halloween festivities at our house, I came across this pin:

Source: grandinroad.com via Chrissy on Pinterest

Source: grandinroad.com via Chrissy on Pinterest

First, I thought to myself, That is the coolest fucking thing I have ever seen. Then I realized, $33? Fuck that. I can make that bad ass piece of Halloween paraphernalia way cheaper.

So last night, I got the supplies together…(and spent a grand total of $8) and set out to create. My plan was: If this goes poorly, I will call the post: Pinterest Gone Wrong. If this goes well, I will call this post Some Seriously Fucked up Shit.

As you will soon see, I’m an evil genius.

The Materials the Make the Hanging Cocoon

The materials I started with: 2 long poles (I used a broomstick and a mop), a ball, a fitted bed sheet, a hanger, fake spider web, and plastic bugs.

I needed some tape, too. Luckily Brian had duct tape in his car…

Duct Tape for Halloween Decoration

Yes. In his car. Creepy?

Hanging Cocoon Man for Halloween

Tape the hanger to the ball. The hanger is your “shoulders.”

How to Make the Coolest Halloween Decorations

Tape the poles to the hanger.

Halloween Cocoon Man

Tape the poles together in the center.

Making a Cocoon Man for Halloween

Cool, right?

It was at this point that I realized I needed a few additional supplies — 3 more hangers.

Cocoon Man Hips

Use one hanger for the hips.

Cocoon Man for Halloween

Reinforce the head.

Hanging Cocoon Man

Add the Shoulders (2 additional hangers).

Halloween Mummy Decoration

Wrap the body like a mummy.

Brian made a suggestion that we add a pillow to the body. Since we have a plethora of pillows…this seemed like a brilliant plan. So, I ran and got one.

The Hanging Mummy

Tape the pillow to the poles

Making a Hanging Mummy

Re-wrap the cocoon.

Spider Web Wrapped Cocoon

Wrap the cocoon in spider webbing.

Hanging the Corpse

We used these bungee cables.

I realized we needed something to hang the mummy, and Brian had these in his car, too…hmmmm…

Hanging Mummy

Hang the mummy.

Adding to the Hanging Cocoon

We’re going to cover that entire area in spiderwebbing…Like so. And people will be scared. Like so.

Hanging Cocoon Man

Put on the finishing Touches-the death bugs…not unlike Death Bug.

Brian is terrified of this. He thinks I am completely sick and twisted. He is right.

I made a homemade hanging mummy cocoon wrapped in spider webs and hung it from the banister in the stairwell for our Halloween Party

What creepy-ass shit do you do for Halloween?

Shop New Halloween Decorations for 2015 via TrendyHalloween.com

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

It’s Gettin’ Hot in Here

No, seriously…It’s friggin’ hot.

Thanks to a faulty air conditioner…OK, maybe not faulty, but definitely not working…we’ve been sweltering for the last two weeks. Well, sort of.

Brian and I have a window unit in our room, so sleeping is A-OK…but you try confining two people into a small bedroom for two weeks and see what happens. So we’ve spent evenings sweating our brains out.  Our roommate, Anna, and I have both been taking cold showers. And ENJOYING them. We’ve ceased all cooking inside the house until further notice. We try to stay away from home as much as we can. It’s been a whole lot of not fun.

Of course, last night, my boyfriend has decided that there is no way in hell he could wait another day…and so he and I walked outside armed with a flashlight, a toolbox, and some random a/c parts…

He’s got a buddy who does A/C stuff, so he had some assistance in discovering the problem and acquiring the right parts, but I really wasn’t sure it wasn’t such a brilliant idea.

So Brian starts explaining what he’s doing, and one of the first things that he points out is that if you touch the A/C parts without it properly bring turned off, you would die. This was NOT what I wanted to hear. So then I started having an internal freakout, and told him, “Don’t die.” Not that I have a tendency to worry and over-think or anything…

So he went through the whole process (with a few phone calls to his pal in between) and voila. Working A/C. I didn’t once doubt his ability to complete the task, but I seriously questioned his sanity at attempting to do it in the dark.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I feel like King Roland when I loudly proclaim, “AIR!”

(Bonus points if you know who I’m talking about without looking it up.)

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!