How to Sneakily Wrap a Present

Brian. Don’t Read This One Either.

How to Sneakily Wrap a Present

Our first Christmas together, Brian spent an hour in my bedroom at my parents’ house on Christmas Eve wrapping my present. He found several different sized boxes in my wrapping station and even accidentally opened the glitter wrapping paper. Basically it was a wrapped present inside of a wrapped box inside of another wrapped box. My godson thought it was the funniest thing EVER. After the second one, he said, “Auntie Chrissy! I bet there’s another present in there!” Aaaaand there was. Actually there were 2 more wrapped boxes.

He started the battle and I made it a war. So I always wrap at least one present a hundred thousand times. Or 3. Whatever.

But the lightness of the book inside several boxes is still too light. So in the last box, I added leftover Halloween candy (Jolly Rancher suckers and boring Hershey bars. But not the good stuff. I ate the only remaining Kit Kat and Twizzlers.) That way, there will be added weight to the gift AND when he shakes it, it will sound like anything but a book. Which will add to the suspense!

Because, OBVIOUSLY, the first thing Brian asked when I told him his present was wrapped under the tree yesterday? “Can I shake it?”

And I said, “Yup.”

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Dear Brian, Don’t Read This One. Please? It’s a Product Review of Your Christmas Present.

Greetings Blog Friends!

Brian if you’re still here, you need to leave. Go read this post about my Christmas Wishlist instead.

Seriously.

Go.

Now.

OK, now. Where were we?

Oh right. Christmas gifts. I was recently contacted by a unique company called Heartfelt Books to try out and review their very cool product. As you well know, all opinions are completely my own, but the book I received was free.

Instead of spending hours organizing photos and creating collages for a photo book, they offer you the chance to create a special keepsake book for the people closest to you. With WORDS, y’all. You know how much I love words, especially words like “cheese.”

By asking simple questions, Heartfelt Books works with you to design unique and personalized gifts for your favorite person or people. Obviously, my favorite person on the planet is Brian…and so I made a Heartfelt Book for him. The site was SUPER easy to use, and they offer a variety of options for friends, family and significant others. I chose a gold foil embossed heart design, but there are others available as well. The book is hardbound, so the quality is much like a fancy journal.

Heartfelt Books gold foil heart book

One of the things I liked most about the Heartfelt Books was that even though they offer a variety of types of questions (including short response, long response, multiple choice, and fill in the blank), you have the free reign to be completely creative with your answers. I, of course, had a lot of fun with an uber cheesy declaration of my adoration of Brian. But I think he’ll laugh. And cherish it. As well he should. I’ll let you take a peek into some of the pages I created for him.

Heartfelt Books dedication page

Heartfelt Books Review

Heartfelt Books short response Heartfelt Books long response Heartfelt Books long response questions Heartfelt Books Review Heartfelt Books Review Heartfelt Books ReviewHeartfelt Books create your own

Obviously, I filled the book with cheese. Both shmoopy love cheese and actual real delicious edible cheese. But only in words, not physical cheese. That would be…well I can’t say gross because nothing involving cheese is gross…Oh just go with it.

As you can see, the book has a single page for each response. My book is about 40 pages, because the back of each page is a simple and elegant design. I think that based on my responses (and there are other pages, I only showed you some of them…Don’t be greedy. Some of this has to be a surprise for Brian.)

Heartfelt Books also offers professional editing (to make sure your grammar is perfect like mine) for only $10. They can even ship as soon as the day you make it, depending on what time you complete your order.

So once I took all of the pictures I needed…it was time to wrap it and put it under the tree.

2013-12-07 09.28.10

Blog Friends, what do you think of Heartfelt Books? Is this something you would make for your love or your bff?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Brian Shares Saturday: Christmas Gifts, Puppies, Cheese, and Evil Deer

Christmas Gifts

Brian is the hardest person in the world to shop for. Not because he’s picky. Not because he doesn’t need or want anything. Not because he only likes expensive things. No. Because he freakin’ buys whatever the hell he wants, even if it’s just days or weeks before Christmas or his birthday. Which makes it really hard to get him a present. Last year, he had briefly mentioned something about how cool straight edge razors are. I thought to myself, Yes! The perfect gift idea. Likely useless, but at least it’s cool and he’ll be excited about it.

Last November he went and bought this, which he’s used once and is now merely decor in our bathroom:

 

Straight Edge Razor Christmas Gift

Yep, just sitting in our bathroom. Unused. Collecting dust that I have to clean…eventually.

Which is why I thought it was funny when he sent me this Christmas meme:

first world problems Christmas meme

Of course, I put the kabosh on him being allowed to buy anything for himself this year from November until Christmas by insisting that we get an apartment. (And then we needed all of this big stuff (Couch, dining table, chairs, TV, coffee tables, kitchen stuff, bathroom stuff), so he couldn’t buy other stuff. Sneaky, right?)

I’ve got an excellent Christmas present already bought and triple wrapped. (I’m sneaky like that.)

But he keeps telling me that he already knows what he’s getting me. And my anxiety of him not making purchases until the last possible minute is rising. So when I asked him what he was getting me, and he said he wasn’t telling, I asked if it was bigger than a bread box. And he said… it IS a bread box.

This bread box. Except that it is sold out. And no packages have arrived at the door with his name on them. And I am suspicious that it is not a bread box. In fact I think that I already know what I am getting…He’s sneaky like that. But if he needs some stocking stuffer ideas, he can always check out my Christmas Letter to Santa.

Gratuitous Puppy Picture

gratuitous puppy picture

Brian sent me this when I was in major back pain this week. So of course, I asked if we could get one… (You can learn all about our hunt for the perfect pet in the back issues of Brian Shares Saturday.) His response? “But his head is too big.” I told that our future puppy, Ernest, would grow into his head. (I have a thing for naming animals and potentially children after authors and book characters. Is that bad?)

Cheese

Brian sent me an article that he found on Slashdot about how cheese has been a big part of humanity for 7500 years. I’ll bet in all that time not one human loved cheese as much as me. Maybe a robot, but not a human. Cheese! 7,500 years. That means cheese is historic. Excuse me while I go snack on some havarti.

Evil Deer

I have an unnatural deathly fear of deer. More on that story another day. I promise. But Brian thought it would be funny (READ: start a fight) to show me some pictures of deer that are even more evil than I originally feared. I’m sorry dear Blog Lovers, but I can’t bear to post the actual pictures of said evil vampire-esque deer… but I can link you to the original evil deer picture that Brian sent me. And the subsequent pictures that ensured he would never have another home cooked roast beef in our kitchen again. It was very mean, knowing how scared I am of deer to show unsuspecting me these horrifying pictures.

Vengeance will be mine.

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

A Christmas Memory

I’ll bet you’re thinking that I’m going to have some sappy-ass story with a title like “A Christmas Memory.”

Well, you’d be wrong then.

I was thinking about my gram recently. She passed away in 2008, but I still think of her often. Gram had a lot of grandchildren and not a lot of money, so she would usually buy us each one thing off of our Christmas list.

My Christmas list sophomore year of college included the following: Coffee maker, blender, and a backpack with lots of pockets. I was lucky, and managed to get all three from various sources. Gram got me  the backpack. It was a really nice backpack; it had everything I wanted in a backpack.

When I opened it up at Gram’s house I got really really excited. I opened all of the pockets, examined the quality workmanship, and planned out my strategy.

My dad, clever dad that he was, leaned over to me and asked, “Does your grandmother knowwhy she got you a backpack for Christmas?”

“Because I’m a proper college student and needed a backpack to put books in, Daddy.” I said with a sugary sweet voice.

“Don’t try to bullshit a bullshitter, Christine.”

I grinned. While my Gram believed that she was helping her studious granddaughter, my dad knew better. He knew that the backpack would never hold a book in its life (unless it was The Bartender’s Guide to Brilliance.) The backpack would become my Bar Bag of Joy. The pockets were to hold cups, stirrers, snacks, and garnishes. The bag was for the booze and mixers (usually vodka and Diet 7Up. Maybe a few Coronas.)

For the record, the coffee maker was to make coffee (so that I could have Bailey’s and coffee before class) and the blender was to make vodka slushies and mudslides. We didn’t mess around in those days.

Happy Holidays! It’s only going to get more festive around here. Get ready for it.

Christmas Tree

Author’s Note: I’ve decided to try this out a new theme segment. Let me know your thoughts on Monday Memories to Make You Laugh. More so, let me know if you’re interested in participating… I’ll even create a fun button!

Don’t forgot this is the last week to let me know if you want a Christmas card from Brian and I! We’ll be sending them out next week. If you would like one, send your information to quirkychrissy@gmail.com. I’m pretty excited about them.

Also (last thing today, I promise!), if you like my blog, please click below to vote for me on Picket Fence Blogs!

 

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!