It’s true. I’ve gotten in fights in my sleep. Multiple times.
When I was about 9 or 10, 3 of us were sharing a bed. Sleeping staggered. The girl who was sleeping directly next to me heard me, in the middle of the night, say, “Oh no you don’t!”
This may not sound like a fight…but when I woke up with a little bruise on my arm, and the girl whose feet were near me shoulder woke up with a bruise the size of Texas, we did the math…whoops!
Another time, when my cousin, sister, and I were having a slumber party, I was always the first to fall asleep. I like my sleep. But I woke up one night, and started yelling at them. “Where’s my pen!?!? I know you have it! Where is it?!?!” I swear I’m not crazy… I was just dreaming.
When Brian and I first started dating, I talked in my sleep a lot. I would have whole conversations that didn’t make a whole lot of sense. I don’t do that anymore, but I do occasionally still punch him in my sleep. Which wakes us both up. I don’t mean to do it…but my hand will somehow end up on his head or chest, which terrifies him to awake mode, and in a panic he calls out and wakes me up in a panic. It’s mostly a big ole mess.
Not only do I start fights, but I also steal covers. Anyone who has ever shared a bed with me knows this. My girlfriends can all attest to my bedtime bully tendencies. Brian and I usually have our own set over covers so that neither of us end up shivering…
And of course, that’s still not all…I’ve accidentally pushed people out of bed in my sleep. Clearly it wasn’t intentional, but still rather unpleasant all the same.
I don’t mean to beat up on the sleeping…I mean…I’ve even had my own fair share of falls out of bed. (One time I woke up in a pile of comforters chewing on my blankie.)
But you know what? I blame the badger face. (The badger face is this horrible face that I make when I sleep.) People are always so judgmental of the badger face that sleep induced Chrissy is worried that everyone is secretly judging her in her sleep. Which obviously, they are. Jerks.
So I’m a bedtime bully.
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