Let’s Be Facebook Friends and Start a Community of Awesome

When I met Jenny Lawson, I was nervous as hell. But before I met her, she read an excerpt from her book and then opened a little Q&A. People seemed just as afraid to stand up and ask a question as me, but I did it.

I asked her what tips she would give to bloggers who are just getting started. And you know what she said?

Create your own community. Build a support system of bloggers and readers. Support other bloggers.

So that’s what I’m going to do.

Recently, I decided that I had had it up to HERE with Facebook’s page nonsense.

1350ish people like my Quirky Chrissy Facebook page. In the last month, do you know how many of them saw posts I created? Maybe like 100. And that’s being generous. Some posts were lucky to get 10 views.

I like about 50 or so Facebook pages, maybe even more. I wouldn’t know because I never see them in my newsfeed. You know what I do see in my newsfeed? Ads. Ads for pages that MY FRIENDS like. Ads for shit I could care less about. Just because I have friends with babies and dogs does not mean that I want to see posts from companies who cater to moms (of babies and dogs).

Why all of this nonsense? Because Facebook doesn’t know how else to make money. So they bully us little people. The bloggers. The small business owners. The freelancers. Buy our advertising and your fans can see your shit again.

Fuck you, Facebook.

Fuck you Facebook PagesI’m joining a slew of others who’ve already migrated to a full-fledged Facebook profile for their blog or business. And you know what? I’m excited.

Friend me on Facebook. Or follow me if you’d prefer not to share your own personal profile. Not only will I be able to share with you my thoughts and posts, but also you can share with me, and most importantly, we’ll be able to interact with each other. I want to encourage conversation and entertainment.

Because I’ve built it up, and you never know what will happen, I’m going to keep my Facebook page, but if you really want to be a part of this awesome bloggy blog world, join me on Facebook. Let’s BE a community. Whether you’re a blogger or just a blog reader, we can make this what we want it to be!

What do you think? Are you going to join my mini-revolution? Because you totally should!

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love My Stats

Stats.

Fucking stats.

My stats fluctuate more than Oprah’s weight (or mine for that matter), and I’m not entirely sure why. That being said, I’ve decided Fuck that. Fuck that a lot.™ 

I no longer care about my stats. As long as there are more than 3 people (Mom, me, and me) reading my little blog venture (and I know you’re all out there), I’m a happy Chrissy. Actually, I’m more than a happy Chrissy. I’m ecstatic.

If you’re busy worrying about how many people view your blog each day…STOP. Because it shouldn’t matter. Are you writing for you, or are you writing for them? Do the stats make you panicky? Overwhelmed? Nervous? Excited? Pick you up then drop you down? Do you feel like it’s a rollercoaster that just. won’t. end? Get off the ride. When it comes to a rolling stop at the station, stand up and call it quits. On the stats. Not your blog.

Build your community. Focus on relationships, not numbers. Make friends in the blogosphere. Comment on other blogs. Make new friends. Troll the comments sections of blogs you like. If you like them, you’ll probably like others who do as well. Become active on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, or join a new social media platform altogether, like Triberr or Yappem. Join my social media communities. Connect with me. Connect with other bloggers. It’s all about networking, not numbers.

Do I actually love my stats? No. Because I rarely look at them anymore.

What’s your favorite part of the blogging community? Whether you’re a writer or a valued reader, how do you get involved?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

I Always Wanted to be an American Idol…so Maybe Blogger Idol is IT for me

I’ve spent my entire life dreaming of being an American Idol…Back when they called it Star Search and Britney Spears was adorable. My cousin Rachel and I used to practice our dance routine and sometimes we’d get crazy by doing the jitterbug…you know…before they called it swing dancing. Then we would get the whole family together and perform in front of them. We’d sing Kokomo like it was the greatest song on the planet and then we would get a rousing applause from our parents and our grandparents.

The things I do to win prizes

The things I do to win prizes

But we never did make it onto Star Search.

Of course, once I hit the teen years, I dreamed of joining Colin and Amaya in Hawaiian paradise known as The Real World. Unfortunately, I was too young. And my mom said no. (THANKS A LOT, MOM!)

Pepperidge Farm Goldfish

Cool stuff just happens to me…

Then I wanted to be on Survivor, or partner up with my pal Cletus for The Amazing Race. But something always held me back. Whether it was the need for a job and money…or my penchant for injury, I just couldn’t make it work. Something about not being able to walk and chew gum at the same time made it almost impossible for me to be physically capable of the Survivor demands.

Shirtless Jesse Metcalfe Photoshopped

I can Photoshop like a boss.

So I gave up on reality TV. Thank God for that. I mean, with shows like Honey Boo Boo, 16 and Pregnant, The Kardashians and I don’t even know what else,  TV is making people dumber. And I’m not one to join up in losing my mind. Besides, I don’t really need help with that one. I’m doing a fine job of losing my mind on my own terms.

Chef Quirky Chrissy

I cook like a rockstar

And then I went the blogger route. If I can make it big in the blogging world, people will DEFINITELY love me. So here I am, auditioning for Blogger Idol. Like it’s my job. (You know, the one that doesn’t pay me.)

dolphin love

And finally, I find joy in the little things

So if you love me, and I know that you do…you’ll tell them that they should most certainly pick me. Choose me. Love me.

 

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

10 Reasons I’m Not Funny This Week.

I’m a humor blog, dammit. And I’m not even a little funny this week. Here’s why.

Every time I almost walk into a wall, I look up from my (phone/book/feet) and near miss it.

Wearing my contacts in the wrong eyes causes migraines, not chuckles.

I avoided sitting next to the creepy old man with the dress pants and white t-shirt on the train by sitting in the vestibule area.

I almost threw up during yoga, but God didn’t want me to have THAT story on the record.

Every time I almost fall down, I catch myself.

I haven’t had to run to the train or lost my pants in the process.

My experiment with gluten free appears to be over. (PS: It didn’t help.) (PPS: Nothing funny came of my last minute decision to eat the gluten. Nothing! No amusing poop stories or anything.)

This is my last full week as a contractor. On the 19th, I start as a full time employee with the company I’ve been contracting with. While this is exciting news, it’s not very funny.

I could only come up with 8 (well I guess this makes 9) reasons.

Maybe I should wear the wheelie sneaks to work today…

So if you have read this far, and it’s ONLY like 200 words, so I hope you did… you’ll note that I linked to some of my funnyish posts…go ahead and check those out. And while you’re at it, send me a link to YOUR funniest post. Because I could use a laugh. And some inspiration. Please and thank you.

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

BlogHer13: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

As I’m still wrecked from this weekend, this will likely be the shortest of my BlogHer posts. A recap, even. But there will be more. So if you don’t want to hear about BlogHer, I suggest you return in August. When I start talking about GenCon. I know. Lucky you.

The Good

  • Queen Latifah emceed the Voices of the Year.
  • I got to spend some quality time with some of my favorite bloggers (and my best friend!)
  • I have a RIDICULOUS number of blog posts pre-written in my head. Including my very own interview with the glorious Dr. Travis Stork. Go ahead. If you don’t know who he is…Google him. But Google Image that shit, because DAYYYYUUUMMMM.
  • The Pioneer Woman, Pillsbury Doughboy, Optimus Prime and Me.
Pillsbury doughboy at BlogHer13

hee hee!

The Pioneer Woman at BlogHer13

I was SO much less obnoxious meeting her than I was with Jenny Lawson.

Seriously. Fucking Optimus Prime.

Seriously. Fucking Optimus Prime.

  • I got to meet Thoughts From Paris DJ. Who I can’t not call Paris. Because that’s his name in my head. And he (kinda) knew who I was. Which pleased me.
  • I got a LOT of free shit. I know it’s bad form to say I was all over the swag, but just like a pack of wild dogs on a 3-legged cat…I was AAAAALLLL up in the free shit business.
BlogHer13 Swag

That’s me…Hanging out with SOME of my free stuff. I went home with a double full suitcase, a duffel bag and 6 grocery bags full of stuff…which we then crammed into the car.

  • The best party? Queerosphere. They had cheese cheese and more cheese. And lamb chops. Best food I ate all weekend.
  • Somehow I made my way into the Disney movie party. And saw Delivery Man. A few months early.

The Bad

  • Queen Latifah was late.
  • I was almost always hungry.
  • I was tired.
  • I didn’t feel like I really related to a lot of the speakers that I saw. And then I couldn’t see them all because I had other places to be and things to do. It was a bit on the overwhelming side.
  • I was really hungry.

The Ugly

  • Queen Latifah was SO late that I was starving AND missed Austenland (though I DID still get the free bag and t-shirt)
  • OK, mostly I was always starving because of this gluten free nonsense. (Hey BlogHer, I’ve got some suggestions for next year! Actually, I’ve got a whole blog post about food coming up.)
  • Mostly I was Starving. With a capital S.
  • Did I mention how much I missed food? And eating on a regular schedule that included dinner?
  • The Best Buy Story. Tomorrow. You’ll see.
Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Sometimes I Get Eaten by Snow Dogs and Carried Off By Vodka Fairies

So if you see me wandering aimlessly around BlogHer like a lost puppy…please rescue me. I may not even realize that I have misplaced my people…or my people have misplaced me. One of those.

(This is a true statement. I really do tend to walk off without a second thought and the next thing I know, I have no idea where I am. More regularly than I care to admit. Luckily Brian is on to my shenanigans.)

Since you’re here…and I’m not…Please visit the following bloggers I wish were hanging out with me in Chicago.

There are totally more. But I have to make another mad dash to the train. This time with a GIGANTIC suitcase. In a dress. Because that’s how I roll.

This is a free-for-all. Leave a link to your best post and next week when my life is normal again, I’d love to come visit you!

 

 

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

So You’re Coming to Chicago for BlogHer? I’ve Got Tips and Tricks for Surviving Chicago

With less than a month to the joy of my very first ever BlogHer conference (and the start of a MAD slew of nerdcon JOY), I thought I would offer you what I know. Knowledge is power, y’all…And I’m like fucking She-Ra up in here.

As someone who’s never been to BlogHer, I can’t really offer any BlogHer13 specific advice, but I am a master of the Chi. A suburbanite turned corporate-America-city-office-slug, I’ve got the deets that you can’t ignore. So share this shit with your friends. And then look for me at the conference. I’ll be the fake ginger in the hot pink tutu.

Parking

Shit guys, parking is expensive. Lucky for you, I am a fucking money saving genius. I don’t pay full price for anything. ESPECIALLY not parking. But in Chicago, we’ve got this sweet app/website (and no, they aren’t paying me to say nice things about them) called Spot Hero, where you can get reduced price parking. You’re welcome.

Okay, that’s all I really have. Good luck. Can’t wait to meet you!

JK, guys. What type of host do you think I am? Oh, right…I’m not hosting this shit, I’m just trying to help you out.

Food

Chicago is home to some of the BEST food in the world. Don’t believe me? Venture outside your hotel room into the big bad city and partake of any of your favorite cuisines and foodstuffs. We’re known for these:

  • Hot dogs
  • Italian beef sandwiches
  • Polish sausage
  • Combo (Italian beef and Italian sausage)
  • Deep dish pizza
  • Thin crust pizza
  • Pizza in general from anywhere that claims Chicago style pizza

BUT, we do everything well. Go out for Mexican or Italian. Find a Cuban restaurant or a little Mediterranean dive with pita and falafel. Gorge yourself on meat and cheese at a delicious little cheese shop or get a sugar high at a French pastry shop. Next week, I’ll post about some of my favorite Loop spots for you to enjoy tasty treats. They’re almost all by Millennium Park, where you can take your picture in front of a giant metal jellybean. Which brings me to the next point.

Touristy Shit

How to survive Blogher Chicago

I don’t know how to smile like a normal person

The Bean

I’m pretty sure that I just discovered the official name for this monstrosity is “Cloud Gate.” I’m also pretty sure that if you ask anyone in Chicago, “Where’s Cloud Gate?” You’ll get a blank stare. In these parts, we call it The Bean. You should too. It’s a giant metal jellybean in the middle of Millennium Park, where I occasionally grab Panera or some amazing food truck fare and have a little lunch while I people watch like a motherfucker. This puppy is a tourist hot spot…so go check it out. Plus there’s like a big park and stuff for you to enjoy.

 

How to Survive BlogHer in Chicago

Sears Tower: It’s not sooo big, right? I walk by it almost every day!

Sears Tower

I guess some people are calling this giant skyscraper, “Willis Tower” now. Fuck that. It’s the Sears Tower. Just roll with me, here okay? We abhor change, here in The Chi. This here’s a tall building. It’s kinda awesome. My grandfather was a part of the building crew (LIKE a BOSS). I haven’t been to the Sky Deck since I was 7 or 8. Since then, they’ve added one of those glass floors that makes it terrifying to walk on. Maybe I’ll go with you. Maybe I won’t. Probably not. Let’s be honest.

 

 

Dolphin pictures

These are the trickster dolphins at the Shed. Love them. I do.

The Museums

Not to brag or anything, but The Chi has some of the best museums on the planet. Science & Industry is a fan favorite, so if you dig learning (which you fucking should) or science, or technology, go check this one out. Love for nature? Field museum. Marine life and fishies? Oceanarium. With DOLPHINS. The best dolphins ever. Pacific white sided dolphins, which are spazzier than bottle-nosed dolphins. There are also penguins for Katies. We’ve also got a rockstar art museum (The Art Institute) for your artistic types. And the Adler Planetarium for stargazers. And TWO zoos. The free zoo, Lincoln Park Zoo is in the city, about a $20 cab ride from BlogHer. Okay, and you have to travel to the suburbs for the better zoo (Brookfield Zoo)…but still. Worth it.

So those are just a few of many ideas for you when you’re conferenced out and want to hang with a few people on a sweet ass adventure. Or if you’re super smart and staying a few extra days doing the touristy thing.

More Chicago Tips:

What to pack for Chicago weather

How to make nice with the Chicago natives

Where to eat if you’re on more of a budget

If you’ve been to BlogHer, tell me your own tips and tricks for the actual conference! If you’re from Chicago, what would you want to tell our visitors? If you just want to show me how awesome you are, tell me about your own city or small town!

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

525,600 minutes. It’s my bloggiversary golden birthday!

I woke up at 5:30 this morning. On 5/30. My 30th birthday. My golden birthday. And my bloggiversary. Almost 530,000 minutes of my life have happened in the lifetime of this blog. And that’s pretty darn awesome.

birthday dessert

Yes, Blog Friends, That is CHEESE in my dessert. Spring Fed Goat Cheese with Angel Food Cake and Pistachio Ice Cream. Holy Happiness Batman.

So, How Do You Measure a Year?

  • 266 published posts?
  • Stats in general?
  • Love?
  • Cups of coffee?
  • Days employed?
  • Friendships?
  • Laughs?
  • Nerd moments?
Doctor Who Sonic Screwdriver

The sonic screwdriver Brian gave me as an early birthday present!

I could list the amazing things and people that have been a part of my life over the course of the last year since my first official blog post. To call it a journey seems silly, but that is exactly what I’ve had. A journey. Personally. Professionally. Emotionally. Physically. I have walked a thousand miles in my own shoes, and I have a year of blogging/reflecting to prove it. And I’m not done yet.

Because of YOU though, it’s been a very unique journey. One that only a blogger would understand. I’ve made friends around the world. I’ve shared personal stories. I’ve become a better writer because I read your writing. And you inspire me.

So today, I’m asking that when you comment on the blog, you share your own work. If you’re not a blogger or an artist, tell me something about yourself.

Mark Poulin Sloth necklace

A SLOTH necklace I received for my birthday! Our lovely friend Ava found this little guy on the interwebs from Mark Poulin, so I had to share his site with you.

Blog Friends, how do YOU measure a year?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

What? I’m Not Here Today? LIES!

Okay, maybe it’s not a complete lie. I’m guest posting over at It’s a Dome Life today! Lily has been hosting this beautiful Examining the Creative Mind Series, in which she asks several pages worth of questions about artists, their processes and their inspiration.

She’s brilliant I tell you.

So go read my guest post and send Lily some comment love. Because post hosts loooooove comments! And I might host a giveaway next month. And I might cry if you don’t. I’m not above bribery. Or threats.

If you’re stopping by from It’s a Dome Life, might I recommend the following favorite posts…

Adventures with The Bloggess

Because Search Terms Are Funny

Stormageddon: Dark Lord of All

The Tale of Olive Baby

Christmas Music

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Today’s Post is Brought to You by Shamelessness. And BlogHer. And Me.

Today I am shameless. Today I ask again for your help. You see, in July, I will be attending my very first BlogHer conference. And I’m STOKED. And nervous. And everything in between.

And there’s this miniscule TINY little chance that I could possibly maybe read one of my blog posts. The lovely Lily from It’s a Dome Life submitted one of my posts to Voices of the Year. And then I submitted a few more for fun. And if you have a favorite post, you can totally submit that too. But if you think that I am worthy, I would very much LOVE to have that speaking opportunity at BlogHer. So if you could please go vote for me…I would be eternally grateful. Again.

I will DEFINITELY go vote for you too! Just leave a link in the comments here if you’ve been submitted to Voices of the Year.

Here are the four links that have been submitted representing Quirky Chrissy.

I Make a Terrible Housewife

Two Years Seems Like Just Yesterday and Forever

Shit I’m Glad My Mom Didn’t Do

In Light of the Tragedy in Connecticut

Because this shameless post should not be ALL about me…

And by the way, yesterday was WORLD FREAKIN’ PENGUIN DAY. Now, I don’t really have a thing for penguins the way I do for dolphins, but Katie over at Words for Worms does…and she wrote about it. So go read a post about a penguin butler. Yes. I said Penguin. Butler. Just go there already.

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!