Holy Shitballs! I’m Off The List!

Remember when I thought I was on one of those TSA watch lists? After an unfortunate incident with a skunk, a dog, and a trip to Disneyworld, I thought flying was never going to be the same. I mean…I’m sure my letter to TSA stuffed delicately in my luggage wasn’t helpful. And the fact that EVERY TIME I fly from Fort Myers, I have a suitcase that smells like a salty combination of ocean, sea death, and bleach…But I mean, really…they went so far as to MANHANDLE my cheese.

Cheese

When ww were in Petaluma, we picked up a giant piece of Achadina Capricious. So. So. Soooo good.

We haven’t made it through a TSA line unscathed since 2012. Until last week.

Somehow, we were pulled magically through the pre-check lanes (because they weren’t busy) on BOTH legs of our trip. We don’t carry much on board these days (I carry a nook, a phone, a tablet and a pillow; Brian carries a phone, tablet, snacks and charging cords/batteries) thanks to flying Southwest and checking everything.

Did you know that you don’t have to take your shoes off in the fancy pants VIP lane? No walking around barefoot where every Tom, Dick, and Harry has stepped with their icky feet. It was magical.

So thank you, TSA. For recognizing that I’m just a girl who accidentally got skunked one time…and has a little packing OCD…and sometimes travels with recently bleached seashells and other stinky sea life.

Approved flyer - No More TSA problems

Blog friends, what issues do you deal with when you travel? What’s your favorite part about flying?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

This Could Probably be a Real Post if I Wasn’t Drunk and Delayed at the Airport

Just thought you might appreciate a quick update while I’m cocktailing (or beering…I mean…whining…err wining…FINE cidering at the airport). Whatever. I’m drinking.

Brian was just on the phone with his dad when I told him that our flight was (SURPRISE) delayed.

He relayed this information to his dad, who may be picking us up at an ungoldly hour in the morning. All I heard was Brian’s end of the conversation.

“Yeah, we HAD a direct flight. At a reasonable time…but it was the for the wrong day.”

Whoops. For those of you who missed that Facebook update…

I may have booked our flight for Saturday instead of Sunday. Luckily, I caught it in enough time to change it…we just don’t have a direct flight…or an early evening arrival.

In order to entertain you/me, I’ve decided to share the end of our trip before the rest of it.

Things that happened at the airport so far:

Traveling with booze is expensive

At luggage check, we were informed that my classy packaging of wine was not acceptable to airport standards. I learned a very valuable lesson about packing and traveling with booze today. Apparently, wine inside tied hotel laundry bags inside grocery bags wrapped with a hoodie does not constitute well-protected. $30 and an embarrassing scene of opening and rearranging our luggage later, my wine, beer, and olive oil is now safely bubble wrapped.

TSA felt up my cheese

At security check, my California cheese and sausage was determined a dangerous set of weapon and greedily manhandled by TSA. (And you remember how I feel about TSA.) This concerned Brian…not the part about the manhandling, but the part where I reacted to the manhandling. Apparently, you’re not supposed to touch your stuff unless they ask.

That’s it… so far. We’re boarding a flight to LAX now, so who knows what could happen next.

PS: If you read the comments below, you’ll discover what DID happen next. *facepalm*

What are your flying nightmares? Real or potential?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!