No Really, I’m Going to be 30…And I Need Your Help.

So I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this or not…but I’m going to be 30. In one week. After my golden birthday comes and goes, I will return to 29. And stay there. Forever.

In all reality, I’m much less panicked than I was upon turning 25. That was a very strange time in my life. I was dating someone who’s oldest child was closer in age to me than he was (you know, just in the opposite direction). I was spending most of my free time drinking or bartending (I had a full time gig as a catering manager). And I was terrified. 25 scared me. Even though I said that 30 was my scary age, 25 was right there. Waiting for me. With that whole quarter-life crisis thing.

But 25 came and went. And I survived. And I know that I’ll survive this one too. I’ll get by with a little help from my friends.

Get to the point, Chrissy…

The point is this: I’ve already done so much. And there’s so much more life to live. I’m creating a bucket list for 40. 10 years. 40 things. And it’s going to be spectacular.

But I’ve also got another plan. Thanks to my word worm, Katie, I have become a Twitter fiend. Sometimes, I tweet along with Grey’s Anatomy. Sometimes I tweet at famous people, hoping that they’ll love me and respond. And one time. No. Two times, Blessid Union of Souls retweeted me. Because they are awesome. And the Bloggess offered to share her Bloggie award with me. Because she is the most awesome ever.

TheBloggess (TheBloggess) on Twitter 2013-05-22 22-54-19And in true Bloggess fashion, I think it it would be fun to try to get some famous people to tell me “Happy Birthday.” Or “Go Fuck Yourself”. Or “Dude. Hi.” I’m not really picky what they say to me. I just think it would be cool to see how many famous people I can get to acknowledge my existence.

We all know what a fool I am when I meet famous people in real life. I have a much better chance of remaining calm digitally. So help me out. Send a famous tweeter or two my Twitter handle (@chrissawoj) and tell them that it would be fantastic if they could send me a little love over the next week. Pictures. Videos. Tweets. All seem like brilliant ideas. Because I’m pushing 30 and dammit I want to ring it in. In the best way possible.

Blog friends, who would you want to tweet at you on your birthday? Please tell me it’s someone awesome.

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

How I Embarrassed Myself in Front of The Bloggess for a Good Cause (In 500 Words or Less) (with photos)

I’ll get to the point fast. The good cause? Katie’s impending 30th birthday. But the how I embarrassed myself part in 500 words or less? Here goes:

(Note: I’m speaking really fast in my mind, so I highly recommend that you read it equally as fast in your mind.)

So I was excited to meet Jenny Lawson, and I had a plan to get her to sign a book for Katie, my butter-churning sister from a past life who also happens to WRITE a BOOK blog. And through her book blog (which she began after I gave her a guest post on my blog when she was going by the pseudonym Penny, for like 5 minutes) I discovered Jenny’s book, Let’s Pretend this Never Happened, which I read and laughed hysterically at. Katie also was the instigator in directing me to The Bloggess’ Blog. And insisting that I comment and follow through to the other blogs from other people who comment. And thus began my whirlwind trip into a blogging community.

And so I practiced telling Jenny all about how Katie was my best friend ever. And how she wanted to be there. And how I was surprising her with the book. And basically rambled everything that I just wrote in the previous paragraph to poor Jenny. And of course, I said “hi” like 15 times. And I told her she was “fantastic” like 15 times. And apologized for being such a freak, because I was so nervous. And then I forgot to say anything witty. Or clever. Or adorable. Or intelligent, really. I didn’t even tell her about my best friend Ally, who was RIGHT THERE, pulling the camera/phone away from my shaking hand so that she could take pictures of me and Jenny.

The Bloggess Book Tour

Ally and I waiting for the arrival of The Bloggess

The Bloggess Book Tour

While we were waiting, Katie sent me this gem of a photo with the text: So sad that I’m not there! (She had NO IDEA I had a book to be signed for her!

The Bloggess Book Tour

Check out the sweet metal chicken reading a mini book!

The Bloggess Book Tour

She’s like, the most awesome person ever. I love her more now than I did before.

The Bloggess Book Tour

While waiting for my number (when Jenny would sign the books) I met the coolest people ever! I want that hair sooo bad! And the skirt. Apparently she wore the skirt the last time they met Jenny. How fun are they?

The Bloggess Book Tour

After I rambled about Katie for 5 minutes, AND showed the sad face text picture…she wrote this!

The Bloggess Book Tour

And then, just to show you how awesome Jenny is…she was all, “let’s pretend she’s here!” and put her arm around invisible Katie.

That Jenny Lawson is one cool chick. I’ve got more Adventures with The Bloggess posts to come.

So Blog Friends, have you ever been embarrassed in front of someone you admire?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!