Harry Potter vs. Captain America

One time, I convinced one of my best friends to dress up as Harry Potter and go to a costume party with me. It was awesome.

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And then, this morning, Brian and I had the following conversation:

Me: If someone wants to polyjuice me, my hair just fell on the ground.

But, to be fair, I shed all the time. So I guess that doesn’t really make a difference.

Brian: So you’re saying, the next time I see you, you might not be you.

Me: Yes.

Brian: Well shit! How am I going to know it’s you?

Me: We shouldhave a secret passphrase so you know.

Unless I’m polyjuice me right now. And then real me will never know the passphrase.

Brian: …

I think he’s still considering the possibilities.

Don’t fight it, Brian. The polyjuice is gonna getcha.

Brian’s going to see Captain America Civil War tonight with his coworkers as part of a work adventure. Without me. I’d be upset, but I saw a prescreening on Monday night in IMAX 3D, and I don’t think Brian’s viewing will top that.

I don’t want to give away any spoilers, but I will say that the Captain America movies are among my favorites in the Marvel Studios movie series. (Guardians of the Galaxy trumps all). It was fantastic.

What would happen if someone polyjuiced the hair of Captain America? Click To Tweet

And if anyone cares, I’m on Team Ironman. I think.

You know what? I think I just came up with Marvel’s next movie.

Captain America vs. Harry Potter. Call me, Warner Brothers and Disney. I’ve gota great idea!

Are you a Harry Potter or Marvel fan? Who would you pick in a battle: Harry Potter and his peeps or the Avengers?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

I Love When People Take My Sass and Run With It

If you recall from a few days ago, I had an offer to discuss selling my site. Not like, a hey, we-want-to-buy-Quirky-Chrissy offer…More like a hey, we-buy-sites-are-you-selling offer.

After the first try, I ignored it…but when he went in for the second attempt, I delivered what  I hope made him laugh a little bit. His first response was all business, but his response to my response was baller.

It was like a mullet. Business in the front; party in the back. I just needed to pull the cap off. Which I did with a little help from you. I used some of your suggestions in my response e-mail, and I think you’ll appreciate how that went over. SassTaye Diggs and ShemarThanks RyanRyan was a real trooper about the whole thing. So thank you, Ryan! I like to think that you came here, saw my blog post and responded to my survey. In my little daydream here, I truly believe that you were the one who answered my survey with, “Just say thanks but no thanks.”

To the rest of you who responded to my survey, you’re hilarious and beautiful people. I think we’re going to do more surveys, because this was ridiculous amounts of fun for me!

Do you like to sass people in e-mail? Would you have had a little fun with this? What’s the sassiest thing you’ve done recently?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Insert Doctor Evil Voice Here: I Could Be Worth One MILLION Dollars

About a month ago, I received an e-mail from some dude asking if I would ever consider selling my website. I thought to myself, Self, why on God’s green earth would anyone want to buy the brand that’s built around…well…me? I mean…would someone else try to be Quirky Chrissy in my stead?

Selling site 1

The only thing I could think to do was ignore it. I’m usually pretty good about responding to e-mails (even if it takes a few days/weeks depending on how busy I am), but I couldn’t think of an adequate response.

Well, apparently this Ryan gentleman just couldn’t let me go. He really wants to find a buyer for my thriving little blog over here. I mean, I don’t blame him. I’m a little on the irresistible side. And he hasn’t even heard my adorable, everyone-loves-me-even-though-I-did-something-completely-stupid giggle yet.

And this time, I had to respond. It wouldn’t have been polite not to.

Selling site 2

Selling site 3

So apparently, it’s possible that this here site is worth one MILLION dollars. I mean…he didn’t shoot me down completely, right? I guess it’s hard to drop a site that includes pictures like these:

The next step, though, is how to respond. This is where you come in. This very serious Google form will help me to solve my dilemma. All I need is for you to answer a few very simple questions and press the submit button. And then I can respond to Ryan properly.

See? We’re getting interactive up in this community. So help a sister out.

Have you ever responded to a ridiculous e-mail with ridiculousness? What’s the best offer you’ve gotten by e-mail or mail or in person? Any really amazing propositions?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Even the Pink Fucking Monkey Gets a Vote

Yesterday was Election Day. We has a pretty big race here in Illinois, and I don’t even want to talk about it.

Instead, I’ll talk about the very serious vote in our house (holy crap, I can say house) last night.

So Brian has picked up this strange habit of not putting the toilet seat down. Which would be less strange if he had been doing it as long as I’ve known him. But it’s a recent development.

Obviously, this new development isn’t on my list of favorites, OCD tendencies and all…so I brought it up to him. I was in bed, and he was standing up. Our bed still isn’t on a frame, so it’s pretty low to the ground, too. It felt like I was a foot tall and he was a giant beast (in, like, not a bad way).

His response? “Maybe, that’s how it’s supposed to be.”

“No.”

“Okay…let’s vote! Everyone who thinks the toilet seat should stay up, raise your hands!” He raised both hands high towards the ceiling.

Then, I said, “All in favor of the toilet seat staying down, raise your hands.” I raised both of my hands.

He decided he needed another vote, he looked around the room, and then he grabbed The Octopod, raising all eight of his tentacles.

The Octopod

The Octopod was the only stuffed creature that Brian brought to our relationship.

I told him The Octopod does NOT count, or so help me, I would get out of bed and every other stuffed animal and doll would be on Team Seat Down.

“You wouldn’t be able to hold all their hands up!”

“Oh yes I would. Rufus. Samantha. Teddy. Staley. Kermit. Even the Pink Fucking Monkey.”

Stuffed animals

Some of the stuffed creatures. Okay, so I got Kermit for Brian for Christmas one year (he named his car Kermit after completely disregarding my option to name him Charlie)

Rufus

Rufus the dog was Brian’s Valentine’s Day gift to me a few years ago…he said, “I got you a dog.” Last night, I said, “My dog’s got votes.”

“That’s his name? Not the fucking pink monkey? The Pink Fucking Monkey? Really?”

“Yep. I mean. He didn’t have a name…but now he does.”

And that, my friends, is how I won the toilet seat debate.

Do you have a toilet seat struggle in your home? How do you solve debates? What are your thoughts on the whole toilet seat thing?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Things My Boyfriend Noticed About My Hair and Things He May Have Missed…

Brian rarely notices things I do to my hair. When he does, it’s kind of a big deal. A few weeks ago, I mentioned trying out Living Proof PhD (Perfect hair Day) so that you could get the DL on the life-altering promises that this stuff made. (Wait, you mean I really won’t have to wash my hair as often? And it’s going to be cleaner? And more awesome?) After using this for well over a month, I can safely say that yes, it really did mean less hair washing without looking gross (Note: Previously, I could go about 2 days without washing my hair before it started looking SERIOUSLY oily and gross. That’s me. Not everyone. Just clarifying).

Living Proof

Note: I participated in an Influencer Activation on behalf of Influence Central for Living Proof. I received product samples to facilitate my review and to thank me for my participation.

So I’ve been washing my hair every 3 days or so (I actually went 4 days at one point…don’t you judge me) since starting this Living Proof regimen, and I haven’t been disappointed.

Living Proof Perfect Hair Day Review

I really enjoyed the results of styling my hair after using PhD. (And I can’t take a picture without making a funny face)

In my infinite wisdom, I styled my hair for Halloween…

Disclaimer: Normal people don't do their hair like this. But it's Halloween week, y'all.

Disclaimer: Normal people don’t do their hair like this. But it’s Halloween week, y’all.

And THANKFULLY, it wasn’t completely destroyed after the mass amounts of hairspray and teasing.

Living proof review

The day after the Halloween party. Unwashed hair. Boom.

And even after washing my hair and styling it, it’s definitely not destroyed.

As I’ve been testing this product out, Brian really has noticed several things about my hair, and I, of course, responded as best as I could:

  •  “Your hair is softer. Did you do something to it?”
    • “I didn’t wash it?”
  • “Your hair smells nice.”
    • “It’s not my favorite smell, but I feel a lot better knowing that it’s just me being weird.” (Disclaimer – I hate orangy/citrusy smells for some odd reason, even though I love orange and citrus)
  • “You’ve been taking a lot of bubble baths lately.”
    • “That’s because I don’t have to shower as often. This pleases me greatly. But I should probably still be clean and wash self.”

Of course, there are things he didn’t notice, and probably wouldn’t have, which bums me out because it’s pretty awesome.

  • My hair is literally squeaky clean. When I’m washing my hair, I don’t know if I’m losing it, but I definitely hear/feel the squeaks. Because this stuff is really getting to the root of the problem. Pun intended.
  • My hair doesn’t look like a disgusting greasy mess, even though you haven’t washed it in days. Well done.
Living Proof

The products I received from Living Proof to review.

In the grand scheme of things, this slightly pricier shampoo/conditioner set seems pretty worth it for the convenience and quality factor. I was legit skeptical at first, but I’m totally a believer. I’m not as big a fan of the styling treatment (I think it’s because I needed to wash my hair slightly more often when I used that, whereas the shampoo and conditioner alone gave me a longer run time), but after watching the following video, I’m willing to give it another go for some beachy waves (is it bad that I’m ALREADY thinking about our next Florida trip?).

So you’re interested in trying this sweet stuff out? Through November 8th, you can get free shipping and a free travel size PhD 5-in-1 Styling Treatment with the purchase of $20 or more using the following Living Proof coupon code.
○ Promotional Code: NOV2014

What do you do for the perfect hair day? What is your idea of a great hair day? How do you combat bad hair days? Have you ever teased the ever-loving-everything out of your hair?

 

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Something Looks Different…Did You Change Your Nails?

Good morning, blog friends!

You may have noticed a little something new around here…perhaps a few little aesthetic changes…

You’re probably asking yourself,

Hey Chrissy, did you change your hair?

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Well, now that you mention it, I did visit Catelyn, my friendly local stylist, for a refresh last weekend…but that’s probably not what you meant.

Hey Chrissy, did you change your nails?

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Have I mentioned my Julep obsession?

In July, I signed up for a free Julep maven box with a few polishes and some other fancy beauty goodies…with just one box, I was hooked. The nail polish lasts for a week (ONE COAT my friends. Okay, one color coat – with top and bottom coat, of course), and the colors are AMAZING. They treat mavens like gold (read: all the discounts and mystery boxes). I’m getting away with myself. This isn’t even a sponsored post. Of course, because I’m a Julep affiliate, if you were to click on my link and order a Maven box, I might receive a tiny monetary incentive…but I can promise you it’s worth it. Right now, you can get the City Lights Welcome Box free to try Julep for yourself.

Whoops. Totally got off track here.

Back to your probing questions…and the reason I showed off my freshly painted digits.

Hey Chrissy…did you seriously paint your nails to match your new site design?

Is the Pope Catholic?

Of course I did. Would you have expected anything less ridiculous?

Well, shoot. You’re practically my hero!

Man, you guys are seriously awesome in my head.

I bet you paid someone to make you site look this fancy, didn’t you?

And just like that you lose faith. Rightfully so, of course. Yes, I paid the LOVELY Carol of Pink Haired Pixels to make my site look amazing. I met her at BlogHer, obsessed over her hair and did way too many Twisted Shotz with her before singing karaoke. I’m also thrilled to pieces with her work.

Now that I’ve rambled, what do you think of the new digs? Are you as smitten with pink and teal as I am?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

5 Reasons Childless Adults Love Back-to-School Season

I don’t have tiny humans of my own, yet, and I probably won’t have them for a while. What may surprise you parents out there, though, is that I get just as excited for back-to-school as they do. Obviously my enthusiasm for the end of summer comes with different reasons, but I’m eager for your kids to return to school, nonetheless. Even now that I’m no longer a server/bartender/retail associate with my afternoons free, I’ve found a few stellar reasons to rejoice when the kids are back in the classroom.

Back to school isn't just fun for parents and students. Childless adults are big fans of the season too. Here are a few reasons why (1)

 

The train is less crowded

In the summer, the commuter trains fill up with people who don’t know the drill. Families and teens flood the city to visit the beach, summer festivals, museums, shopping and more. Some of the time, this is no big deal, but there are always a few occurrences that really irritates the daily commuters.

I can relax in the park on my lunch hour

I work three blocks from Millennium Park in Chicago. In the summer, it’s swarmed with teens in high-waisted short shorts and crop tops. Sure, there may be the sporadic field trip to The Bean or a couple tourists, but the mass exodus of the parent-less hormonal teens at the end of summer sets my heart a flutter.

Tourism dwindles

Every year as summer begins and the hoards of local and exotic tourists descend upon Chicago, trolling up and down State Street, outside the building where I work. I look at these people and scream in my head, “Where were you when the temperature was well below zero?!” As soon as it’s nice out, they overrun the sidewalk, walking in large groups that take up the entire space so I have to push my way through them to make it to my train on time. When they go away, and there are fewer people in my way as I head to and from work, ecstatic doesn’t begin to cover it.

Vacations

While I’m all vacationed out for the year, this os the absolute best time for childless people to hit up the great vacation spots typically overrun with kids and families. My boyfriend and I visited Disney World the week after Labor Day a couple years ago and it was AMAZING. If I could plan all of my vacations during this time, I totally would!

Matinees

I don’t get to experience this nearly as much as I did when I wasn’t working a 9-5, but oh my GOD did I love going to matinees after the kids went back to school! Empty theaters all to myself at the lower price! Glorious.

What are you looking forward to when the kids go back to school?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Sorry Not Sorry

I can’t put this book down.

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Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

I have 4 half posts written and a book to finish reading. I’ll be back next week. Or tomorrow if I stay up all night to finish Ready Player One. One of those.

Have you read this book?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Rest in Pieces, Delilah: A Eulogy

In honor of my dear friend of 19 years.

She was a true champion. We met the summer between 7th and 8th grade. She kept my little brother and I occupied, distracted, and entertained that first summer she arrived, when Mom was sick. She taught me about responsiblity, maintenance, and pride in a job well done. She helped me practice my flip flops in high school. She gave us a place filled with memories. Something to do early in the morning and late at night. She was the life of every party.

Although she had no name for much of our friendship, she will forever be known in my heart as Delilah. Thanks to a few beers with Dad and my little brother.

My brother sent me a picture last night as I was heading home on the train. And I knew. Delilah was a goner.

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She passed slowly, starting last night, and carrying on until morning. Now, she’s merely an empty shell in my parents’ backyard.

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I called Mom immediately to see what happened. Apparently everyone was in the pool but me. I had always joked that I wanted to be there when she exploded so, of course, my first comment was, “I can’t believe you didn’t wait for me!”

We had dozens of inside jokes, from Pool Cheese (Kraft singles, wrapped in plastic, still taste like Kraft singles-gross, even when they come from the bottom of the pool) to her name, Delilah, which Mom hated (I think it had something to do with naming inanimate objects).

My parents may get a new pool, but it’s also time to pass the torch. When I was a kid, Gram had a pool. Then, when that pool died, Mom got a pool. Now it’s my turn. House. Then pool. It’s the natural state of progression.

I made my way over to the parents’ place to say goodbye and offer my condolences to Dad, who was Delilah’s closest companion since I moved out.

For the last 5 years, Delilah had been living on borrowed time. Pool life support in the form of rusted caulk and Gorilla Glue. FIVE YEARS, you guys. I stand by Gorilla Glue for LIFE knowing that 10,000 gallons of water were held together wirh this magical glue…however unattractive it may be.

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But in the end, the pool rusted out.

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This is what the pole used to look like:

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So here’s to Delilah. You were a reliable and loyal friend. You’ll be missed.

Did you ever have a pool? Do you want one? Have you ever witnessed a large appliance or structure in your home kick the bucket?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

I’ve Got Friends in Low Places…

Friends come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

I’m blessed to have found all of the above. Yes, even the seasonal friends. Sure, they didn’t have some BIG part of me becoming me, but I sure enjoyed the ride.

For Day 13 of the 25 Songs in 25 Days, we’re asked to share a song that reminds us of a former friend.

With my chosen song, I think of many former friends all at once. Back when my parents owned a bar and I was an Irish princess. Everyone’s your friend when you own the bar. It’s when you stop owning the bar that you discover your true friends. The lifetime friends. And even the reason friends. The rest were just there for a season. And that’s okay.

When I was a little girl, dancing around the bar after my daddy’s softball games, playing with the other kids, we’d listen to the old-school jukebox and rock out to the 80’s music we loved. Of course, we weren’t the only ones plugging money into the machine (money we got from nice bar patrons who would hand us dollars to play whatever we wanted). And more often that I would have liked at the ripe old age of 8, Garth Brooks would croon about his friends in low places. And you know what?

He was right.

I may have hated that song when I was 8, but by the time I was an adult, consuming my own legal beverages at the bar, I was singing along to the tune with the best of them. I had friends in low places, where the whiskey drowned and the beer chased my blues away…From Peoria to Lombard I had friends at bars across the state. And that was my world for a spell. An intoxicated, swaying world. But it was fun. And I still have some of those friends. But not all. And such is life.

What songs remind you of old friends?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!