There’s Nothing More Tasteless Than Eating Disorder Jokes at a Bridal Show

When you think of a bridal show, you may have visions of creative photographers, wedding gown experts, travel gurus, brilliant bakers, and entertainment professionals settled at their respective booths, vying for the attention of every bride, bridesmaid, and mother of the bride in a 60-mile radius. And quite likely, you’ll expect this event to culminate with a parade of elegant men, women, and children in a bridal fashion show designed to elicit the oohs and ahhs of those aforementioned brides and their entourages.

What you don’t expect, I’d gather, is for a barrage of demeaning, disgusting, and downright offensive commentary from the fashion show emcee.

Last weekend, I attended my second bridal show in preparation for my upcoming nuptials. This time, I was accompanied by one of my amazing bridesmaids at The Windy City Wedding Show at the Embassy Suites in Naperville, where we made appointments for dress fittings, gathered ideas, and spoke with other potential vendors. It all went as expected. Until the fashion show portion of the afternoon.

As the lights dimmed, we were greeted by a man who claims on his entertainment company’s website to “know exactly how to make your special event, extraordinary.”

Extraordinary, indeed.

If this fashion show were an audition for my business, Keith Christopher (KC) KoKoruz of Keith Christopher Entertainment would have lost my bid the moment he opened his mouth. As the audience, which consisted of a female majority, awaited the show, Mr. KoKoruz asked for a round of applause.

When the audience didn’t offer enough enthusiasm to suit his liking, he made the following commentary:

“We’ve got some insecure and unattractive models back there. They’re going to need some more applause before they come out here. [If you don’t clap louder,] we’re going to have eating disorders up the wazoo.”

Not only were disparaging remarks made about the models in the show, but also this emcee tastelessly made light of eating disorders to a room full of women, many of whom had probably started some sort of diet regimen to fit society’s standards of a beautiful bride.

When did it become okay to crack jokes about eating disorders?

I’ll give you a hint: It didn’t.

I left that show fuming. Pissed at the man who spoke the words. Angry at the wedding show company that supports this sort of commentary. Irritated with the women who clapped after his speech. Mad at the world. Disappointed in myself.

Not one woman in the room, myself included, stood up and said anything to this man. I was ready to start asking him questions immediately after the show, but I could sense my companion was uncomfortable with this idea, and opted, instead, to email* Keith KoKoruza, who also owns Windy City Wedding Show and several other businesses tailored to Chicago-area brides.

In both a blog post comment and a Facebook comment, Mr. KoKoruza apologized for his insensitive and uncouth remarks, but his double apology came wrapped with excuses and exceptions. Anything but genuine remorse.

He was very confident that his humor was used successfully throughout the show though I found him crass and chauvinistic. But, to each their own. Humor is absolutely a personal thing. There’s a line, though, between crass and class. I assumed when I registered for a professional bridal show, though, I’d be receiving the class end of the stick.

KoKoruza also insists that his jokes about the models are funny because they’re his friends. “They are also some of the most secure and confident people I have ever met which is what made the joke so ironic,” he rebutted.

Unfortunately, KC doesn’t seem to understand that people who appear confident are not always as secure with themselves as they seem. Many people have close friends and family members struggling in secret with their eating disorders. On the outside, they look happy, fearless, and well-adjusted. On the inside, they are fighting a demon every day of their lives.

Eating disorders are lifelong mental illnesses. You don’t recover from an eating disorder. You don’t wake up one day and decide, I’m not going to starve myself anymore or I’m done puking up every meal I eat and then it’s over. You wake up every day and decide, I’m going to focus on taking care of my body today. I will fight my disease, and today, I will win this battle. Every day is a battle. Every meal is a battle. Some battles are easier to win than others. And some are harder.

But what those struggling with eating disorders don’t need is some man, who may or may not struggle with his own eating disorder (I won’t be so brazen as to assume he doesn’t), making jokes about it as if it doesn’t matter. As if it’s not real. As if every model behind those curtains wasn’t insecure. He doesn’t know.

But what he should know is the complete disregard for propriety he displayed to the audience at this wedding show in order to gain a few cheap laughs. It’s a shame there is no one to hold this emcee accountable because what KC KoKoruz said was unacceptable.

What would you have said or done if you had been at the show? How would you have reacted? 

*While Mr. KoKoruza did not respond to my initial email sent the day of the bridal show (apparently, it was lost in the system), he did see and respond to my Facebook message.  His response arrived in the form of a comment here and on Facebook, which you can view below.

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Nail Fail Files: Halloween Candy Corn Nail Tutorial

Guys, I think it’s time I showed you some of my less than awesome attempts at nail art. I saw this awesome tutorial from my friends at Julep, and I thought. Well, shit. I can totally do that. In fact, I can make it even better!

PRETTY SPOOKY – Easy (so they say) Halloween Nail Tutorial from Julep

Okay, so to be fair, if I used just one color under the black to give it that cool orange flame-like appearance, I probably would have been fine. Instead, I decided to take it to the next level. I made sure over the course of the last year to acquire the colors to make candy corn nails when Halloween rolled around this year, and I thought I would combine the two looks. I’ll show you the tutorial first.

Halloween Nail Design Tutorial

Here are the steps to this easy orange-and-black mani:

1. Paint one coat of orange 2/3 of the way up your nail. Let dry. (The drying part is really important, even if you’re impatient like me.)

2. Using a striping tool (some people say a toothpick works, but seriously, though…I’ve never figured out how to do that…so striping brush it is) to polish on black borders.

3. Polish the outline of the points with one coat of black polish. This is trickier than it looks. I actually used the striping tool to paint borders near my cuticles too.

4. Add a top coat and you’re done!

Doesn’t that look ridiculously easy? This Halloween nail art tutorial from Julep uses colors from their Happy Halloween Welcome Box, which is a 4-piece beauty box featuring a trio of spooky polishes and a gel eye glider (which I LOVE) for FREE when you join the Julep beauty box subscription. Join Maven and get the 4-piece Pretty Spooky Welcome Box FREE ($50+ value) – just pay $2.99 shipping with code BOO. Or pre-pay for your first three months of Maven and get the Welcome Box and shipping FREE.

Pretty Spooky Welcome BoxNow for the pictures you’ve been waiting for:

I saw a cool Halloween nail art tutorial from Julep, and used it to make candy corn nail art.Okay, so in the grand scheme of things, this really wasn’t that bad, right?  I mean, sure…some of the candy corn kernels are crooked, and there may be some white missing…but I mean…this is real life, not some fancy-pants nail artist, amiright?

Things I would do differently:

  1. Wait a good long time for each layer to dry. Be patient and watch more 30 Rock.
  2. Try to aim for the same angle with the border lines.
  3. Not overthink the different colors of the candy corn. I ended up painting over spots and multiplying the layers which you can kind of see and wasn’t necessary.

OH! And bonus!

If you’re not into the monthly subscription thing, or you want a cool striping brush (I use this thing a lot for my nail art), right now you get sweet Halloween Nail Art sets at Julep.

Halloween Gift SetsGet inspired by the spooky-cute nail art ideas from my friends at Julep and then score the polishes used in these looks way cheaper than normal. Julep is offering five limited-time Halloween Nail Art sets that include three polishes AND a creativity kit (a dotting tool and striping brush).

Plus, you’ll get a free as a gift with purchase when you buy a Halloween Nail Art set. The Julep Plié Wand™ is the perfect tool to help you perfect your nail art designs, especially when you’re using your ‘bad’ hand. To get your free Plié Wand, add a set to your cart then use the code MAGIC at checkout.*

What’s the worst tutorial fail that you’ve had? Any nail art designs have you played around with? Are you as adventurous with attempting nail art (and failing somewhat miserably) as me? Do you know how to use a toothpick for striping?

 

Vampy Halloween Welcome Box

Disclosure: No one paid me to say nice things, but I am a Julep affiliate and any purchases you make through these links will afford me a small commission to keep doing these tutorials and fail files.

*Details: Offer expires 10/12/15 at 11:59 PM PT, or while supplies last. Promotional code MAGIC must be entered at checkout, and is valid for 1 free gift per order. To receive free gift, add the Julep Plié Wand to shopping bag, in addition to $20+ of other julep.com products. Promotion excludes the Jule Box, Savvy Deals, Julep add-ons, Sweet Steals and Secret Store catalogs. Not valid for purchase of julep.com gift cards, gift boxes, Gift of Maven, or Mystery Boxes. Orders placed for the Monthly Maven Reveal (e.g. monthly Maven Boxes, Upgrade Boxes, and add-ons) are not eligible. No exchanges.
Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

The Nightmare Before Christmas Sally Skellington Nails

Greetings and salutations, Blog Friends! It’s Geek Week here at Quirky Chrissy, which means Brian and I (and our friend, Don) will be off to see the Wizard tomorrow in geeked-out Indianapolis for GenCon. In honor of such a joyous occasion, I thought I’d share with you a little cosplay-light fun. You see, as much as I adore Halloween and costume creation, I’m not a big fan of dressing up in full costume for cons. I like to wander free, and even though I’m probably going to make an ass of myself and still be recognized as a bonafide hot mess, I’d prefer to do so as under the radar as possible. Although, obnoxious tie-dye yoga pants aren’t completely out of the question…and fun nerdy shirts and dresses are on my packing list for sure, I just don’t do full-on costumes.

I thought it would be fun to create patchwork nails that matched Sally Skellington's ragdoll dress in The Nightmare Before Christmas

Sally Skellington Patchwork Nails

So I decided to play with my nails. I like to multitask when I paint my nails, so I usually binge watch a television show or choose a movie to enjoy as I work my way through the nail routine. Brian says I’m not really watching the TV at all, but my ADD loves focusing on the detail of nails with the background of entertainment. I watched The Nightmare Before Christmas on Netflix to get myself in the mood (and the fact that Saturday was Christmas in July only made it that much sweeter of an idea), and thought that my Sally Skellington Costume needed a refresh in the form of nail art. So I pulled out my Julep collection and carefully chose the colors that I would use to create patchwork nails.

Julep Nail Polish for Sally Skellington Nails

Julep colors: Dawn, Carla, Veronica, Brielle, Joanne, Nic, and Amy

I started with my base coat – and I used the Julep Oxygen Bonding Base Coat to hold the polish longer. Then, I applied the first layer of each nail.  I decided I was going to follow the movie version of Sally’s dress, though my costume is based on the cartoon drawing of Sally (so you’ll note the difference with the large polka dot, I used Carla instead of Amy for the base coat). Feel free to play around with the colors, because there are dozens that would fit the patchwork dress. I was hoping the Nic would be a deeper black than it is (it’s a blood-red black), but it worked out pretty well for what I wanted. The rest of the colors were almost exactly what I wanted.

After I let the base color dry, I began applying the designs. I used my Julep striping brush (which works okayish) and Nic to paint lines and patterns. I wasn’t terribly brilliant at the swirls, but I was also using my non-dominant hand to paint them, so give me a little leeway with that. I didn’t completely think the hands through.

I kept the left Amy and Dawn pinky and ring finger bare to match Sally’s sleeve and upper quadrant respectively. I painted the swirls on the Veronica middle finger, vertical stripes on the Dawn pointer finger, and diagonal stripes on the Carla thumb.


Sassy Sally Costume
On the right hand, I kept the Nic thumb bare for the abdomen section of Sally’s dress. I painted the Brielle pointer finger with a crisscross design and a messy slash design over the Dawn middle finger to match the tiny patch on Sally’s dress. I painted thick stripes over the Joanne ring finger and messy dots on the Veronica pinky nail.

After the designs were dry, I added the large polka dots to the Carla diagonal striped thumb using the Julep dotting tool. I let them all dry completely and applied the Oxygen Performance Top Coat. (Pro-tip: Continue to reapply top coat daily for longest lasting nails.)

To match my Sally Skellington costume, I decided to paint my nails with a variety of colors and tools, creating a neat patchwork nail look.After I finished with my nails, I kicked back and watched the end of the movie, as Sally (the most logical character in the whole movie) helps Jack save the day. Because she’s awesome.

The Nightmare Before Christmas on NetflixI love playing around with funky nail art, and thank God for my Maven subscription to Julep. Every month, I get 2-3 new polish colors, lipstick shades and other beauty products for a fraction of the cost. If you’re looking to create your own sweet nail designs with some of the most unique nail colors, you may want to consider becoming a maven too. You can even try them out for free (with the low shipping cost of $2.99). If you’re anything like me, you’ll fall in love and never look back. I also regularly purchase a monthly mystery box, have early access to a secret store full of killer deals, AND get free shipping/20% off regular priced items on every purchase.

This post was brought to you by the fine people at Netflix, who didn’t pay me to say nice things, but they did give me a year’s subscription to Netflix and a device on which to stream it in order to tell y’all about my experiences with the Stream Team. 

Netflix Stream Team

Some links used in this post may contain affiliate codes. If you make any purchases through these links, I’ll make a small commission to keep this site running. 

 

 

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

The 3 Best Reasons to NEVER Dye Your Hair at Home

As you may or may not have known from my glamour shots, I’ve been dying my hair since I was 12. I started out with highlighting and going blonde(r)…but eventually went dark…then finally the ginger set in.

I’ve gone to professionals, had friends do my dye jobs, and done it myself. I’ve done it all.

Of the three, I obviously prefer the first. But I’d been known to frequently do my own hair (typically when I was broke). Now, I have a relationship with a hair stylist, like a grown up. And I could never cheat on her.

I used to be pretty awesome at it. I mean, dying your own hair blonde is no big deal. The blonde dye doesn’t really stain anything. It cleans up pretty easily…

After several attempts at dying my own hair, I finally only let a stylist handle my mane. Theses are the 3 reasons not to dye your hair at home as learned from my own experiences.

Reason # 1 to Never Dye Your Hair at Home: Stains

I did the auburn/brunette thing… That got a little trickier. I may or may not have stained the bathtub in my college apartment. I may or may not have almost stained mom’s bathroom floors, walls, sink, bathtub…you get the picture. Mom banned me from ever dying my hair at her house again.

So then I finally grew a pair…and decided it was time to go ginger. I had been waiting for so long to do this. Years! Friggin’ years! And finally…I was ready. I went to the store. I bought the color. It was awesome. Bright. Delicious. Ginger. Excitement!

I was living at my pal Mark’s at the time as he was uber busy working in some foreign land, and someone had to make sure Jerry the Mouse didn’t invade again. (Note: This is not like the time I stole his car. I had permission to live in his home.) So I took the opportunity to change my look (in not-my-mother’s bathroom).

Reason # 2 to Never Dye Your Hair at Home: The Stains Hide

So, I may or may not have accidentally made a huge mess in Mark’s apartment bathroom. I cleaned it all up and made sure to get all of the red spots before they dyed anything permanently…or so I thought. A few weeks later, when Mark came home, he called me up and asked “What the fuck did you do?!” He found some red stains. I went over there with my trusty Mr. Clean Magic Eraser and discovered that there were apparently stains that I had missed…quite a few of them…whoops! Those bitches hide.

Reason # 3 to Never Dye Your Hair at Home: Drastic Errors

That same dye job over at Mark’s apartment required a double process. The first was my own, in which I fucked up royally and had blotches of red, blotches of brown, and blotches of in between. It was a disaster. I had to call my sister (a beauty school drop-out) to come over and fix my huge err. Luckily, the second process was done by my sister, and she handled it like magic. And then once I thought it looked hot, I STILL got some pretty nasty commentary about going such a bold shade of red.

Of course, this wasn’t my last adventure in self-hair-dye.

After a few months of dating Brian, it seemed like an OK idea to dye my hair at his house (well, his roommate’s house). You know, since Mom banned me, Mark banned me, and I had already dyed my hair at several hotels–staining their white towels pink (I know, right–it was a terrible idea).

I had a system though. I would run a bath while dying and sit in the bathtub. That way the dye wouldn’t stain the porcelain. Brilliant right? Except that as I set the dye down on the tub edge, I learned (the hard way) that the edge was angled. I first dropped the bottle into the tub of water.

So I placed the bottle on the floor outside the tub. I had removed all towels and anything that could get destroyed in the process. But when the bottle fell onto the bath rug (that I had carelessly forgotten to remove or hadn’t noticed…I don’t even know–sometimes I’m not very observant), it was game over. I freaked out. Red toner spilling everywhere onto this rug.

Brian’s roommate liked nice things. While I wasn’t the biggest fan of this rug, I assumed that it was costly. So I tried to do damage control. I scrubbed it. I loaded it with soap. I did everything I could think of to get rid of the stain. And it looked…better.

I Googled the brand on the tag. No luck. I didn’t know where it came from or where I could replace it. So I contacted Brian…and he told me it was his rug. PHEW and that it was from Walmart DOUBLE PHEW (and I should have known the minute he said it was his, because everything he owned was from Walmart–just like Danell Leyva’s Towels).

I told him we would likely need to toss it. He didn’t believe me and said it could be washed. I explained it was pretty bad and hair dye was permanent. I had just checked on it again, and apparently “cleaning” it made it significantly worse after it dried a little…it was blood red and the stain was enormous. I was still having a panic attack as I typed a G-chat message to Brian, even though he kept telling me it was fine and not to worry. (He still does this a lot because I have a lot of unnecessary panic attacks.)

The following weekend, Brian threw the rug in the washer.

It came out clean.

Who knew?

What errors have you made when dying your own hair? Do you see a stylist or do it yourself? What are your thoughts on stylist loyalty?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Get Your Own Red Carpet Style (And Perhaps Join Me in My Julep Maven Obsession)

Okay. So you all know I’ve got a bit of an addictive personality. Once I’m into something, I’m all in, guns blazin’. If you follow me on the Instagram, you’ve probably seen some of my nail art.

Julpe Mani

I’ve been playing with Julep polish since July and cannot. get. enough. Seriously. I have a friggin’ spreadsheet. A SPREADSHEET. A COLOR-CODED SPREADSHEET with all of the  polish colors that I own. Because I may have accidentally bought a few dupes in the beginning. But not any more!  I’m organized.

Just a small sampling of my 50+ colors...described mostly according to my own views of the colors

Just a small sampling of my 50+ colors…described mostly according to my own views of the colors

Anyways, crazy obsession aside, I thought that sharing the Julep love would be fun for you. Right now, you can get the Red Carpet Welcome Box (by signing up for a Julep Maven monthly subscription box) for JUST the $2.99 shipping cost when you use the code, “winner”. That’s 3 fancy pants polishes and an awesome gliding eyeliner for less than $3 (I use the eyeliner and adore it!). If you do plan on sticking with the monthly subscriptions for a while, I recommend the 3 month plan (which I regret not doing wholeheartedly) which will save $5 a month (for at least your first two months – after the free welcome box).

One of the things I love about my monthly Maven box is the customization that you’ll find with the monthly selections. You can swap out polishes, beauty products and other goodies to make it perfectly your own. You can even get a few add ons at discounted prices.
Red Carpet Welcome Box

  • Julep Maven isn’t super pricey if you love beauty products (and there are some really amazing ones out there!). You get over $40 of full-size products in every box for just $24.99 per month.
  • Julep Maven is the only customizable box of full-size, limited-run nail colors and beauty innovations. That means no surprises, no dupes or colors you don’t like. You can see what’s in your box each month and have the option of swapping out colors/products you already have or don’t want. Some boxes aren’t customizable, but they have more items in them (which I LOVE).
  • If you need to skip a month? It’s totally cool. Once you are a Maven and have paid for your first box, you can skip a month if you need to or you can gift your box to a friend – you have choices.
  • Mavens get oodles of benefits at Julep – like 20% off Julep.com, free shipping, early access to secret sales and mother perks that make being a maven more fun.
  • A Maven subscription is also a great gift for the nail polish and beauty product lover in your life. Hint Hint BRIAN.

Join Maven now and the Red Carpet Welcome Box is FREE. ($58 value – just pay $2.99 Shipping). Enter the code WINNER at checkout.

Or, if you’re not into practically free welcome boxes…or you already have a Maven subscription…or you don’t want to sign up for a monthly box and you want to roll the dice with a magical mystery, the Cupid’s Mystery Clutch comes with two polishes, a sparkly clutch, and a whole bunch of secret mystery stuff thrown in for fun. (I’ve gotten several mystery boxes and they’re a GREAT way to build your collection of polish and full-size beauty products.)

Cupid's Mystery Clutch

So. Much. Magic!

Are you a Julep Maven? Have you tried Julep? Are you as obsessed as I am? What is your favorite beauty product?

This is not a sponsored post. I am a Julep Maven, but I am also a Julep affiliate. This post contains affiliate links that may earn me a few dollars should you decide to try Julep for yourself. As always, I never promote brands or products that I don’t believe in.

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Things My Boyfriend Noticed About My Hair and Things He May Have Missed…

Brian rarely notices things I do to my hair. When he does, it’s kind of a big deal. A few weeks ago, I mentioned trying out Living Proof PhD (Perfect hair Day) so that you could get the DL on the life-altering promises that this stuff made. (Wait, you mean I really won’t have to wash my hair as often? And it’s going to be cleaner? And more awesome?) After using this for well over a month, I can safely say that yes, it really did mean less hair washing without looking gross (Note: Previously, I could go about 2 days without washing my hair before it started looking SERIOUSLY oily and gross. That’s me. Not everyone. Just clarifying).

Living Proof

Note: I participated in an Influencer Activation on behalf of Influence Central for Living Proof. I received product samples to facilitate my review and to thank me for my participation.

So I’ve been washing my hair every 3 days or so (I actually went 4 days at one point…don’t you judge me) since starting this Living Proof regimen, and I haven’t been disappointed.

Living Proof Perfect Hair Day Review

I really enjoyed the results of styling my hair after using PhD. (And I can’t take a picture without making a funny face)

In my infinite wisdom, I styled my hair for Halloween…

Disclaimer: Normal people don't do their hair like this. But it's Halloween week, y'all.

Disclaimer: Normal people don’t do their hair like this. But it’s Halloween week, y’all.

And THANKFULLY, it wasn’t completely destroyed after the mass amounts of hairspray and teasing.

Living proof review

The day after the Halloween party. Unwashed hair. Boom.

And even after washing my hair and styling it, it’s definitely not destroyed.

As I’ve been testing this product out, Brian really has noticed several things about my hair, and I, of course, responded as best as I could:

  •  “Your hair is softer. Did you do something to it?”
    • “I didn’t wash it?”
  • “Your hair smells nice.”
    • “It’s not my favorite smell, but I feel a lot better knowing that it’s just me being weird.” (Disclaimer – I hate orangy/citrusy smells for some odd reason, even though I love orange and citrus)
  • “You’ve been taking a lot of bubble baths lately.”
    • “That’s because I don’t have to shower as often. This pleases me greatly. But I should probably still be clean and wash self.”

Of course, there are things he didn’t notice, and probably wouldn’t have, which bums me out because it’s pretty awesome.

  • My hair is literally squeaky clean. When I’m washing my hair, I don’t know if I’m losing it, but I definitely hear/feel the squeaks. Because this stuff is really getting to the root of the problem. Pun intended.
  • My hair doesn’t look like a disgusting greasy mess, even though you haven’t washed it in days. Well done.
Living Proof

The products I received from Living Proof to review.

In the grand scheme of things, this slightly pricier shampoo/conditioner set seems pretty worth it for the convenience and quality factor. I was legit skeptical at first, but I’m totally a believer. I’m not as big a fan of the styling treatment (I think it’s because I needed to wash my hair slightly more often when I used that, whereas the shampoo and conditioner alone gave me a longer run time), but after watching the following video, I’m willing to give it another go for some beachy waves (is it bad that I’m ALREADY thinking about our next Florida trip?).

So you’re interested in trying this sweet stuff out? Through November 8th, you can get free shipping and a free travel size PhD 5-in-1 Styling Treatment with the purchase of $20 or more using the following Living Proof coupon code.
○ Promotional Code: NOV2014

What do you do for the perfect hair day? What is your idea of a great hair day? How do you combat bad hair days? Have you ever teased the ever-loving-everything out of your hair?

 

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

DIY Halloween Costume: The Bouquet Toss Winner

Happy October, Blog Friends! It is now officially acceptable for me to get excited about Halloween and BOY OH BOY am I excited for Halloween.  Of course, we won’t be throwing a Halloween party this year. And we don’t (yet) have a house to decorate for one of my favorite holidays, but big things are happening this month. Big things.

I figured I’d kick the season off this year with a little Halloween costume love.

A few years ago, whilst I was dating the bartender, I came up with the most brilliant Halloween costume, if I do say so myself. Mom and I were sitting in her room, brainstorming ideas. My mom is a BRILLIANT costume creator, so it only seemed right to run ideas back and forth with her. I was broke, out of work, and in college, so I knew I wanted to keep it cheap. I figured I had a couple of bridesmaid dresses hanging around my closet to use, so we started thinking about ideas…

The next thing I knew, I was plotting the ultimate bouquet toss winner Halloween costume. I started with the dress, which I ripped to absolute shreds. Then I bought fake nails, which I glued into the shredded dress. I saved a few of the nails, which I left to put in my hair.

On the Saturday before Halloween that year, my mom and I got to work for all the parties I was headed to. We started with my hair, spending an hour creating one of those bridesmaid-esque updos. As soon as it was finished, I pulled and tugged and messed it up. It was important work. I then stuck fake nails into the knotted mess and even a few flower petals.

I put on the dress, so Mom and I knew what skin space we were working with. We started with bruising, using a plethora of eyeshadows to create blue-gray-green bruising all over my body, including one black eye. We moved on to scratches (with all those broken nails, scratches were a must). This was accomplished with real scratches (light ones) that Mom traced with dark red lip liner to maintain them all day long.

Bouquet toss

I needed to add a smidge of fake blood, so I put one earring in, and blood coming down the other ear. I also figured a bloody nose would look pretty convincing. I finished the look with a single high heel, crutches and an ankle brace because I’m hardcore.

My then-boyfriend picked me up for our Halloween festivities in a hoodie and camo pants with a mask in his backpack. A mask that he may have put on twice throughout the entire day.

We started at a Halloween wine-tasting event at my local liquor store, where I was competing in a costume contest to win a wine refrigerator. I walked around the place, petitioning my cause and making sure that EVERYONE voted for me. If ever I had to explain what I was, I had a whole speech prepared.

“I caught the bouquet. You should see the other girls. I mean, it’s not what catching the bouquet MEANS…it’s about taking out the competition.”

I went home with a wine refrigerator that day.

Last year, at work, I thought I would revive my favorite Halloween costume of all time. I took it to a more gruesome level, and was pretty pleased with the results.

If you're looking for a creative, unique Halloween costume with an old bridesmaid dress, consider the bouquet toss winner.

I may have looked more like a zombie than a live person, but I couldn’t stop adding gore. I especially liked the knee cut. I won a contest there, too…but never received my prize…grumble grumble grumble.

Of course, the best part about this was taking the train home in costume. I looked fucking spectacular, and it wasn’t Halloween proper, so no one else on the commute was dressed up. It was kind of magical.

If you're looking for a creative, unique Halloween costume with an old bridesmaid dress, consider the bouquet toss winner.

I still don’t know what Brian and I are going to be for Halloween this year, but it’s sure to be a scream.

Blog friends, what’s the most creative costume you’ve ever come up with? Would you rip a dress to shreds to have fun with Halloween? Are you down with the gory costumes? What are you going to be for Halloween this year?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!

Living Proof That I Don’t Have to Wash My Hair Every Day #mc #sponsored

I participated in an Influencer Activation on behalf of Mom Central Consulting for Living Proof. I received free products to facilitate my review and to thank me for my participation.

Living Proof is co-owned by Jennifer Aniston, who truly believes in the products and uses them for herself.

Living Proof is co-owned by Jennifer Aniston, who truly believes in the products and uses them for herself.

So you know how sometimes you just do NOT want to go through all the trouble of getting in the shower, washing your hair, drying your hair, stylish your hair and doing ALL THE THINGS that encompass hair care every. single. day of your life? I know I’m not alone here, people. Not to mention, with my fake ginger mop, I need to wash it less often just to keep the color alive. Well, when Mom Central came to me with a campaign for Living Proof, a hair care system that makes it easier for me to wash my hair less often AND grabs my hair by the ponytail (or double ponytail) to get it under control, I was absolutely in.

I’ve done all sorts of things to combat needing to wash my hair, from baby powder to remove some of the oil to testing out that dry shampoo phenomenon (am I doing it wrong? Is it even working?), I figured trying a new hair care brand couldn’t hurt!

I received my Living Proof PhD shampoo, conditioner, and styling products in the mail last week, so I’ve had a little time to test them out, but I’ll be back in a few weeks to give you a full report on how well it works for my hair. But I CAN tell you about my first impressions and observations.

Living Proof

So far, I’m loving the  smoothness and frizz-reduction which I noticed immediately. I love sulfate-free products because they’re also fab for colored hair. I haven’t used heat on it yet (because I don’t often have time to blow dry my hair when I’m racing out the door to work), but I will soon. Scout’s honor. My hair feels lighter (and I have a LOT of hair). The products have a light citrus smell (probably some type of orange or tangerine), which I don’t love (I’ve always had a weird aversion to citrus smells), but Brian insists that my hair smells really good. PhD doesn’t keep those pesky allergens out of my hair, so I still need to wash every other day to avoid the allergy death match with my eyes.

I’m going to keep it up and keep you posted in a few weeks.

Here are some of the basic deets:

 PhD Shampoo and Conditioner

  • PhD (which is OBVIOUSLY short for Perfect hair Day) includes a shampoo, conditioner, and 5-in-1 styling treatment designed to do all the things! It’s supposed to deliver smoothness, volume, conditioning, strength, and polish with one simple routine
  • The PhD shampoo and conditioner are designed to keep hair cleaner, longer  so that lazy busy girls like me don’t need to wash our hair as often
  • The products are sulfate-free, oil-free and silicone-free, giving you the freedom to use them without worry about less-than-awesome ingredients 

 PhD 5-in-1 Styling Treatment

  • After using the PhD shampoo and conditioner, applying the styling treatment to damp hair (with or without that pesky blow dry)  will  pretty much accomplish everything you want from a hair care product from creating smoothness, boosting volume, and strengthening hair to providing heat protection, UV protection, and static control
  • The styling treatment is oil-free and silicone-free
  • Blow drying with a round brush will enhance volume and body
  • Blow drying with a flat brush will create a smooth, polished blowout

You can take the PhD challenge with me by signing up on the Living Proof website.

Blog Friends, what products do you use to keep your hair under control? Have you heard of or tried Living Proof?

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!