Summer of Food, Drugs, and Travel: How I Spent My Summer “Vacation” in 500 Words or Less

The summer is coming to an end, the kids are going back to school, and all the fun things are happening that happen in the fall. (I see you, Pumpkin Spice everything, and I’ll take two.) I thought I’d write you a quick little ditty in honor of my summer. Don’t worry, I’m not going to try to put music or my voice to it. 

I kicked off summer, threw a birthday party, and celebrated my “29th.” Began the summer of pain and “fame.” My back was screaming, “Welcome to ’29 again,’ bitch.” Couldn’t get out of bed, sit comfortably or easily wipe my own ass. Worked from home, indulged in an overabundance of over-the-counter pain killers, and boarded a plane.

Landed in Baltimore, visited a breakfast nook, crammed 27 (or 5) bloggers into a small rental car, and traipsed to the quaint college campus we would call home for two days. People squee’d, hugged me, commanded me to yoga. Was loud, obnoxious, and confident. People still kinda liked me. Won a bunch of awesome shit, which sent me on a cool trajectory for the summer. Returned home to Brian, who wanted to bottle the energized Chrissy that came home, exhaustedly babbling about the amazing adventures of BlogU.

Lost my car in a flood. Cried. Roof leaked. Cried some more.

Made tasty snacks, drove to central Illinois with my parents, recorded them talking, and hung out with my family.

Raspberry picking in Michigan

Threw another party, drove to Michigan for an impromptu romantic getaway, dined on crazy delicious food-potato chip nachos, ribs, and bbq pork mac and cheese, returned to our fancy room for wine and Jacuzzi. Wandered the southwest corner of Michigan, antiqued, went to the beach, picked cherries and raspberries, drank wine, bought crappy cider, wore a bikini.

A photo posted by Quirky Chrissy (@quirkychrissy) on

Traipsed to Indiana, hopped on a boat, headed to the beach and got dizzy. Jumped in the lake, swam to solid ground, and watched everyone hang on the boat. Got back on the boat, drank some beer, and watched fireworks. Fourth of July happened, Ate some food and took third place in the three-legged race. Played some games, went to bed.

Red moon at the dock

Published on Huffington Post, went semi-viral, received a call from a radio producer. Listened to everyone’s first period stories.

Woke up with more back pain, screaming in agony. Went to doctor. Got on insane drugs. Jumped on another plane, landed in New York, hung out with blogger friends. More yoga demands, more squees, more friends, more booze, more food. All appetizers. Weird feminism. More winnings. Talked to Jenny McCarthy, met Hickory Farms, went to a rooftop bar, saw Aladdin, stayed too long, felt lonely, missed Brian.

Came home, snuggled Brian, acquired more drugs, experienced serious anxiety, met up with friends, had my palms read, was told I was lucky, got drunk, changed my website, felt lonely.

Bought a new car. Trekked to Indianapolis. Played games. Bought games. Ate food. Won more prizes. Came home, basement flooded, fixed air conditioner.

Eating in Michigan

Started physical therapy. Tried to yoga. Asked for a raise. Worried about job. Began an episode of vertigo (still going), took more drugs. Received a KitchenAid Mixer. Joined a weight loss competition.

As it turns out, my themes this summer were pain, drugs, travel, food and booze. I’m sure more happened, but I was lost in a haze of everything else. With the summer winding down, we don’t want anything else to go wrong, so we’ve started gearing up for TV season, and consequently just started Season 2 of 30 Rock on Netflix, where Liz Lemon also returned from her summer vacation. And can I just say how much I’m obsessing over 30 Rock right now? Do you KNOW how many things Liz Lemon and I have in common? Pretty much, like…everything. Also, the topical nature of 30 Rock from 2006 is surprisingly working really well in 2015. 

I'm obsessed with 30 Rock right now

135 episodes of THIS on Netflix right now. If I’m not writing, blame Liz Lemon.

How was your summer “vacation” did you get away? Stay at home? Do anything spectacular? Tell me everything!

Anyways, as usual, I wasn’t paid to write this post, but I was given a free Netflix subscription and a device on which to watch 30 Rock and other shows. 

Netflix Stream Team

Hey! Did you know you can buy my book on Amazon? 37 women wrote about the struggle for perfection, and I'm one of 'em. Go check it out!
Where’d You Get Those Crazy Ass Yoga Pants? Toilet Paper Mind Fuck

Comments

  1. One word would do it for me – independence. I kicked my douchey husband out and found myself. Oddly enough, I like me. Who knew?

  2. That’s some synopsis of your summer! I’m exhausted just from reading it! Just wait unil Fall now. Lots more to do!

  3. Vertigo? How did I miss this? I swear, I have been so social media scattered of late. Please forgive me for not asking about this sooner. MTM had an extreme case several years ago. We both still cringe every time we hear the word vertigo.

    My summer? I MET YOU! I went to my Happy Place TWICE. Indulged in geekery. Recorded my memoir. Visited a place I’ve read about since I was a teen, and it was even better than I imagined. Saw English Shakespeare. Volunteered. Got an amazing piece of furniture and my first-ever writing advance. But again, let me scream I MET YOU!!!!!!

    • Meeting you was equally as, if not more exciting!!!

      I actually haven’t posted about it anywhere. This is my third episode of vertigo in about 13 years. It seems to last for weeks sometimes even months and then one day, it’s gone. This episode isn’t half as bad as the last one.

      And it sounds like you had a pretty amazing summer! Huzzah for a writer advance! Where is your happy place?

      • That really sucks. Glad to know this one isn’t as intense. MTM figured out his attack was caused by a simmering sinus infection. He started with a neti pot, and he doesn’t even get colds now. Yours may be caused by something else, but if that helps….

        Hotel Valley Ho in Scottsdale, AZ. The only place on earth I can sit by a pool and let people bring me drinks without getting bored. Plus, the spa is amazing.

  4. I hate vertigo! I ha it once for a whole summer — complete with the vomiting and nystagmus. I first thought I had a brain tumor, but apparently it was just an inner ear infection of some sort. Here’s hoping you get over it SOON!

  5. Sad summer without pool. (Or Delilah or whatever you called her..it). Can’t wait for fall!!!

  6. Sounds like you had a helluva summer! Jealous of all the food – I’m hungry as I’m reading so forgive me if it’s the main thing I’ve focussed on – and commiserations for the pain. That sucks.

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