Shave and a Haircut. Two Bits.

So last night I had my first solo experience in the house. I wanted to finish the second coat of paint in one of the rooms, so I had my mom pick me up at the train station near her house and drive me to my house (it’s weird to call it my house, but that’s exactly what it is…). Brian would be meeting me there. Before I got out of the car, though, Mom reminded me to lock the door behind me.

This is the layout of my house, before it was my house. And in the daylight. When it's less scary.

This is the layout of my house, before it was my house. And in the daylight. When it’s less scary.

Random aside: Brian genuinely thought I was walking from our new/future train station, because it’s not very far away. Later, he even asked how my walk was. I Iaughed and responded, “You thought I was actually going to walk…” And then he thought I called a cab. But really, Mama Bear had it handled. Because she’s awesome.

Anyway, so I was alone in the house. It was already dark at not-quite 7 PM. And I started peeling painter’s tape from the kitchen walls.

All of a sudden, I heard a faint knock at the door. I, quite naturally, immediately panicked. I dove further into the kitchen to avoid being seen from the from door window. I stood, cowering beside the refrigerator when the knock was confirmed with a “Shave and a Haircut” knock.

Now, logically, someone who uses that knock probably isn’t going to kill me. But I didn’t know that. And I wasn’t taking chances.

I looked around and realized that there were no window treatments in the kitchen, as we took them down when we painted. So I did what any normal person would do. I dropped to the floor to avoid being seen.

Now our kitchen is in the center of the house and has two doors across from each other. One leads to the front room (and the front door); the other leads to the dining room. So I crawled to the dining room (probably seen), when I heard another knock. I was really regretting that I had turned all the lights on, as the perpetrator could now see pretty perfectly into my whole house.

After another minute, I crawled from the dining room to the family room (which is next to the kitchen and also has a two doors to the dining room and front room). I peaked around the corner and realized I was in plain sight of the door, and sat paralyzed with fear.

I waited another minute and crawled further into the family room. I finally stood up and tried to remember where I left my phone. And started analyzing the situation. If it was a friend, they would have tried to call me, right? And a neighbor wouldn’t come knocking after dark, right? What if it was the mean-ass contractor that I didn’t hire? No, it was a different contractor who used the same knock…I looked at the door and there appeared to be a note on the window.

I saw my phone on the counter between the kitchen and family room, grabbed it and ran to the hallway with no windows by the garage. I called Brian and explained the situation (sort of), and asked him to check the door for the note.

I stood in the hallway for 10 minutes before I finally grabbed my paint supplies, changed my clothes, and ran upstairs to paint.

Brian arrived, and I was perfectly alive. And safe. And crazy. Apparently, it was a delivery service(not UPS or FedEx or USPS). I have no idea what it was they were trying to deliver, but as soon as I find out, I’ll let you know.

Don’t worry. I put the curtains back in the kitchen window pretty soon after. shudder

Blog Friends, what would you have done? Would you have just answered the door or would you have freaked out like me? Have you ever panicked unnecessarily?

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The Random Shit They Left Us Under Pressure

Comments

  1. I had to google this “Shave and a haircut” business to have any idea what you were talking about! 🙂 Glad you survived!

    Think I would have probably answered the door without thinking about it too much, but I’ve definitely had my own moments of random panic!

    • LOL. It’s that knocking pattern. I had to Google to make sure I was referring to it properly. (The reason I knew that was from the movie, Who Framed Roger Rabbit.)

      Yeah, I over think things a lot.

  2. I hate when someone unexpected comes to the door when I’m home alone. If I have the option of pretending I’m not home, I’ll ignore it. If it’s obvious that I’m home, though, I’ll answer it because I feel like it would be more suspicious not to. Like, I don’t want the person on the other side to have the satisfaction of knowing they freaked me out.

    In your situation, I probably would have called someone really quick so I’d have an open line while answering the suspicious knock.

    Though maybe you were better off cowering. It could have been someone nefarious and they left a note to a made-up delivery company as a cover when their plan to abduct you didn’t work. (I’m probably not helping for the next time something like this happens, am I?)

    • That’s a really great idea! I was thinking that I didn’t have anything that could double as a weapon, but calling someone to have backup on the phone would be just as useful…although maybe not quite, if I were to end up dead or abducted.

      Yep, glad I made the choice I made.

  3. Bwahahahaha.

  4. I always get freaked out when I have random people buzz my apartment or worse, knock on my door when I’m not expecting someone. Because if you’re knocking on my door directly….how did you get into the building? And then that makes me question if my neighbors are letting random strangers in without them buzzing and that’s just not cool.

  5. JoulesDellinger says:

    Something similar happened to me at home one night when I was making dinner a year or so ago. Jack was in his highchair and my husband wasn’t home when someone knocked at my door. We live in the country, so people don’t KNOCK on doors ever around me. For some reason, FEAR just washed over me and I knew that I had to protect myself and Jack. So I did what I had always planned to do if threatened, I answered my door with my lethal 4D Cell Maglite in my hand. If there was trouble, I would have taken care of it. As it was, it was some random dude from a ‘union’ that wanted to talk about an upcoming vote.

  6. Daddio II says:

    You need to put your baseball bat in your umbrella stand. Even one of the little souvenir bats are easy to handle and quite effective.

  7. Are you kidding me? I ALWAYS hide from people at the door. Always. I just hate people that much.

  8. Yo dude. Just like, answer the door. Or like, hold a knife behind your back while doing so.

    • That sounds logical.

      Besides, I called the number on the thing (stupidly) and I’m pretty sure it’s a sales scam thing. Glad I didn’t answer the door before thorough internet research.

  9. tiredwife says:

    I NEVER answer a door if I can help it. Despite TWO no soliciting signs, a no roofers sign and a handwritten sign that says “No free inspections, no free offers, no churches, no sales NOT INTERESTED, GO AWAY” people are constantly trying to sell me things. When I point out all the signs they look at me blankly and say “That doesn’t apply to me”. And then I offer to look up adult literacy classes for them, because obviously they can’t read. and they can’t look up the classes themselves, because they can’t read.

    • I think I’m going to need one of those no soliciting signs. I hate people. But not, like, all people. Just the ones that annoy me. Or try to sell me things I don’t need. Or knock on my door after dark like it’s no big thing.

  10. I don’t like to answer my door either. I totally hide if I don’t know who it is. Mostly because it’s either some church people that will not leave or someone selling stuff. I once had a guy selling meat out of the back of his truck. He caught me outside working on the yard. I’d rather just pretend not to be home!

  11. I totally hide from the doorbell!

  12. Just wait until you are home alone late for the first time… SCARY!

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