How I Almost Died During My Daily Commute. Or How I Was Attacked By Another Inanimate Object.

So yesterday, I was racing to the train (speed walking, not running, mind you) and as per my usual, I was preoccupied with something other than putting one foot in front of the other. Sometimes, I read (but I had just finished The Walking Dead: Rise of the Governor), and sometimes, I check my e-mail, g-chat, Skype, Twitter, Facebook, etc etc. Yesterday was no different.

I checked my e-mail to discover that YES! I had gotten a reservation to tour the Vienna Beef Hot Dog Factory…in September…of 2016.

That’s right, kids. A THREE YEAR WAITING LIST.

I obviously had to Skype my co-workers to bask in the glory of this accomplishment. Because…I mean…right?

So, as we’re messaging about this joyful thing, and I’m telling them that I may do a giveaway in 3 years (long term planning, y’all!) for 1-2 of the available spots in my tour group, when out of absolutely NOWHERE, this gigantic pole jumps up and slams into me.

My glasses went flying. The fact that I was just attacked registers. And 3 of the 500 people walking past me ask if I’m okay.

My response?

“Yep. I was just WAITING for that to happen.”

I mean… WHO SAYS THAT?

Of course, I immediately thought back to my interview with Dr. Stork, in which he told me that most people really can’t walk and chew gum at the same time.

Touche, Doctor. Touche.

I made it to the train with 3 minutes to spare. The people in the seats next to us were eating Chinese food and it smelled SO. Bad. I was nauseated. And tired. And probably had a mild concussion.

Brian was really nice to me (not that he isn’t usually, but he was even NICER. I know this because he bought me a GIGANTIC pack of Disney Halloween stickers that are going to get put on all outbound communication until October 31. Who wants a Halloween card?! I’m sending them out to the first 10 people who request one. Ready. Set. Go.)

OK, so seriously, though…I think Brian was worried. Because I barely talked all night. And I didn’t eat dinner. Which is weird for me. And probably really unhealthy, considering the only thing I ate all day yesterday was a lot of taco dip, some cake and trail mix. But I’m feeling better. And the giant bump on my head? It’s gone down some over night.

I walked into a pole

Ow.

 

 

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Comments

  1. Chrissa!!!!! What the hell? Walking has never been your strong suit, while JUST walking!!! Stay safe. Love you.

  2. Damn that pole. They’re out to get you, I tell you.

  3. ooooh, that’s not a good one. I want to give you a hug, and stick a lip sticker on your bump. Only you my friend, only you. But that is what makes you so endearing and special.

    Now, That Brian… he IS a good one.

    May I please have a Halloween card.

    • Just don’t stick the sticker too hard. My head hurts. (Also, this will make you laugh: Brian put those Halloween stickers all over me [not on the forehead] when he brought them in. He thought it was hilarious.)

      You can absolutely have a Halloween card!

  4. Chrissy, I think you like me need to develop a mindfulness practice. ( see: basicmindfulness.org ) Yikes girl, I’d like to offer you a hug right now, a tylenol, and a gluten free sucker. 😉

  5. I ran into a pole once in 6th grade right after getting off the bus. Luckily, we moved not too long after that. If you get hit on the head and the bump goes in instead of out that means the pressure is going on your brain. Also, check to make sure your pupils dilate. Get to the doctor if one pupil stays bigger than the other and if the bump goes in. That’s the instructions we have on head concussions. Scary! I want you to live. Stop doing two things at the same time!

  6. Don’t feel bad Chrissy. We all have moments like that. Once years ago we went to the Play Boy Club, This was in the late 60’s, as we were being seated and walking down a small flight of stairs I was chatting away and not paying attention some how my high heel got caught and I landed on my arse. You can imagine my embarrassment. As I stood back up and pulled down my short dress the whole audience gave me a resounding hand. :o)

Trackbacks

  1. […] Walk into a pole? I’m a hot mess. […]

  2. […] seriously had the best day ever. So I’m not sure if you remember that one time I walked head first into a pole because I was busy excitedly Skyping my co-workers? (If you haven’t read that, you probably […]

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