Sometimes I Cry

Last night I had a major meltdown. Major. Meltdown.I bawled my eyes out for an eternity. I still have some wicked puff surrounding my eyes, and that’s not pleasant for anyone. Let’s hope some coffee and eyeliner will do the trick. (Disclaimer: Brian did NOT make me cry. He was actually very good about the whole thing…even though he keeps telling me that it was some serious crying and that normal people only cry that much when someone dies.)

Of course, I started thinking about myself and crying. It’s been a long road of emotional skydiving in my young life…for mostly stupid stuff. But not all. When I was really young, I cried a whole lot. I remember hyperventilating more times than I can possible recount. My mom would have to stop yelling at me and try to calm me down so that I didn’t die. As you may have noticed, I was a pretty dramatic child.

Then I got a little older (grade school) and nothing in the world could make me cry. My favorite movie was Steel Magnolias, and I had a girl crush on Julia Roberts (in all her Shelby-pink glory). I may have only been 6 or 7, but I loved that movie…and couldn’t understand why it made Mama cry so darn much. My grandpa passing away didn’t even trigger a tear.

I used to tease my little brother ruthlessly for his tears. He and Mom would watch movies and cry together…and I would just look at them like they were crazy. I was hardened. At 7, I was ready to take down the world. I had been teased for not being as cool as some of the other kids…I was a little chubbier than some of the other kids…and everyone loves to tease the chubby kid…So I didn’t cry…I’ll show them. Some day.

So I remember the first movie that made me cry. It was a movie called Fluke…about a man who dies and is reincarnated as a dog, who goes back to find his family. I was 13…and it was about the saddest thing I had ever seen. I bawled like a baby. I bawled like I hadn’t cried in years. I was a hot mess.

Then, throughout high school, I would get stressed, but I didn’t cry much. Except when Leonard DiCaprio died…both times. Although I have to say, that I can’t stand Claire Danes’ crying. It’s ridiculous. Even now, 15 years later…she still has the most ridiculous fake cry. It makes me so frustrated! Because I love her in every other aspect of her acting career. Just not the crying.

When my first boyfriend came around my junior year of high school, that was when the crying really started. Apparently, I had been right to stave off the swarm of suitors (LIE) and stay without a boyfriend…even though my mother was convinced I was a lesbian at 13…(Just because I do not want to talk about boys with my mom, does not a lesbian make. I still love you, Mom!) I saw all of my girlfriends crying and whining about dudes…and I wasn’t down with that. I was a busy girl.

Why I Cry

So boys made me cry. A lot. The Goat. The Ethiopian (AKA Tex AKA Johnny Cash AKA The Rockabilly Greaser). 6’6. The Chiropractor. The Scorpion. The Old Guy. Tiny. The Pike. The Bartender. The Drug Addict.  The list goes on and on. I look forward to introducing you to them.

And movies make me cry.

And sad songs make me cry. (And happy songs, too-depending on the memory they invoke.)

And Disney makes me cry. In a good way.

And death and illness make me cry.

And I’ve just become this wave of emotion that cries a lot. Happy or sad. Tears.

I don’t have any images of myself crying…but I’ll leave you with my favorite video ever.

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Comments

  1. I cried last night too. I’m sorry you had such a rotten evening. You know I love you. Cinderblocks!

  2. Awwwwww. It’ll be alright.

  3. OMG I love that Kristen Bell video. Too cute.

    I never used to cry, I mean I didn’t even crack a tear during my grandfather’s funeral and the only movie that’s ever made me cry was The Notebook and The Green Mile. Then I started going to therapy a few weeks ago a I find myself bursting into tears at random times. I had a good cry in the shower the other day. Totally random.

  4. Just wait. If you decide to have kids, once you do, the floodgates open and they do NOT close. I tear up at commercials! It’s ridiculous and I yell at myself while I’m doing it, but I totally understand my mom now!

    Oh, and any story about a person with special needs being mistreated? Waterworks. Because I see my boy in them.

  5. It's A Dome Life says:

    I cry even when I am happy now…sorry, it gets worse and not better. I hope you got all of the stress out and are feeling better!

    I can’t stand it when Claire Danes cries either.

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  1. […] a sudden loved the Doctor way more than you do.   Thank you for not thinking I’m CRAZY When I cry for no reason And when I tell you about how I’m going to be famous one day And when I refuse to walk to my […]

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